Wednesday 10 June 2009

DAVID CARRADINE HUNG BY THE NECK N' NUTS, BUT WHERE WAS HIS FLUTE ?

Aaaaah!.....What a world we live in. When i was 'nobbut a lad', in the 70's ,i loved the stories of a scruffy bare footed half chinese fellah walking around the wild west booting the hell out of the cowboys who always seemed to pick on him for walking into the saloon in mainstreet 'Deadmans Gulch' and asking in a barely audible whisper for" a glass of water, please. " This was , of course David Carradine, as rogue Shaolin monk Kwai Chang Caine, in the wonderful 'Kung Fu'. Made me the man i am that telly series did. I can often be seen walking around Warrington in bare feet, but broken bottles and police warnings have curtailed my monkish wanderings of late, the world we live in i'm afraid. But while i was away on an S.A.S. -Like endurance test, that was a family holiday in a caravan in Wales. I was informed by my old hairy mate Guy Carter and proud owner of a boxed dvd collection of the Kung Fu series(as am i.), of the death of David Carradine. He was found hanging in a Bangcok hotel cupboard by his neck n' nuts. Apparently as pop stars and movie stars aren't satisfied with a 'swift one off the wrist'these days. The beautiful people, they shove apples in their gob;A noose around their neck, and ,apparently their cobblers, then step off the stool? This gives them 'extreme satisfaction', shall we say. But it does seem to go wrong for a lot of the time ,so if they do die,it's with a big smile on their face. But the smile on their face is to make room for the massively bloated purple tongue sticking out of their mouth.

I can only imagine Kwai Chang Caine would never have done such a thing, but you never know. Carradine was deeply 'into' Kung Fu' ,Tai-chi, Chi-gong and various associated philosophies like his alter-ego Caine. And, apparently trained and studied with the Shaolin monks. So, what are they teaching nowadays at the Shaolin temple and if Caine had of committed an act of Auto-Erotic sex, where would he have stuck his flute?


5 comments:

Cathy said...

Tim - the pinny has achieved international stardom. Read all about it!

Thud said...

Don't know about flute but I'm sure a pink oboe featured in his shennanigans somewhere.

monkey said...

so your the bare footed sholin monk i keep seeing near mister smiths.

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