THOSE WHO THINK THEY CAN ..CANT!....SHOULD, BUT DON'T!....AND IF CAPABLE SHOULDN'T....THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF A POLITICIAN!

THERE'S A  BUNCH  of people we all hate.....Full of opinions and rubbish to say for themselves on and about everyone and everything else and entitles them to do silly things like  ,join silly things like debating societies at school  and stuff like that, not particually guaranteed to enamour them to the rest of us scally nose picking, footy in the yard (42/side with a tennis ).....As the years go on these people become more convinced they 'Have something to say!'....And as time goes on they :'Have something to say' ...on an increasing number of things ,then in this evolution of opinionated pains in the arse there comes a point where they 'Have a lot to say on everything!' This is a sure sign of the onset of an interest in current affairs which sure as little exspense accounts are nice nest eggs this will lead to an interest in POLITICS!!!!!

Politics is what?....I know i don't know and most people wouldn't actually have a definition that would make it clear. But on the other hand if you inquired as to a colourful definition as to what a POLITICIAN was you would get one ,i would imagine!!!!

A politician is somebody who has a lot to say on everything they have no knowledge or experiance about. A politician promises 'the world' for votes ,knowing they haven't a chance of delivering. They might be voted in and a week later they're in an office and in charge of the ;Health Service, National Defence ,The nations transport system, with no experiance ,but plenty of party line opinions and civil service 'Sir Humphries' to guide them.

A politician thinks they can do what they can't.....If they can ,the things they should do they don't....And if they are capable ,shouldn't be allowed to. The best job for a politician is in opposition ,all you need do is disagree with the party in power, grunt and shout and that ,basically is it , even i could do it and it's on expenses!

As the goverment and the main parties are a useless waste of space ,promising the world ,etc ,but not delivering , there is a funny side effect to this and that is the nation....Thats us ! Gets thoroughly pissed off. They vote out the party in power and vote the other in. Then come the next time it's reversed again and we're back to square one until next time. This is whensome  of   the would be politicians who 'Want to change things!?' go off and form their own gangs and promise the stuff the goverment(or them!)  haven't any chance or intention of doing....They'll never run the place ,but people vote for them to give the established shitheads a kick in their policies.

Just recently a big mouthed beer guzzling cigar puffing ,ex-punk called NIGEL FARAGE  and his UKIP party have caused a bit of a ripple in local and European elections ,all very impressive ,then the politician and his big mouth and tiny brain comes out .....DAYS AFTER AN ENGLISH NUTTER OPENS FIRE ON A COLLEGE IN AMERICA....What does Nigel ,in his knowledgeable considered opinion want ,but TO LEGALISE GUNS IN THE UK!!!!!

QUANTUM PHYSICS ,PARALLEL UNIVERSES AND BOOKING A TAXI !!!

                                                                                 

                                               

THE OTHER DAY IBOOKED A TAXI !......"My,  what a breathtakingly exciting life you do lead, Tim!" I can hear you enviously say. Well stop being sarcastic arse'oles and listen, as i introduce you to the secrets of the universe by taxi, and it's me paying!....There! I thought that'd grab your attention, you moneygrabbibng tight fisted  gobshites, ya!

Anyhow as i stood awaiting my chariots' arrival, gazing out of the window up the empty quiet close, the phone rang. I picked it up as it's on the window sill and answered as i carried on my expectant vigil. A highly educated Warrington voice inquired as to my whereabouts as : "I'm hangin' on outside of your drive, are you ready yet?....".....I told him that he wasn't on my drive . He replied ,sounding a little impatient that he was and gave me my address and how he was definitley outside my address and he was looking straight at it. As i couldn't see anything ,anybody or a car with phone numbers plastered over the side i gently informed him :"He bloody wasn't outside my house!".....A less than polite reposte was suddenly interrupted  as a cab pulled up in front of the house. I got in and the conversation wasn't mentioned. Did it happen ? Did i imagine it ? Where mysterious forces at work?

When i called a taxi a while later to take me and the Leatherbarrow offspring home he apologised for taking his time due to traffic as :"He'd explained when we spoke on the phone!" But we hadn't spoken on the phone ,but he insisted we had....I was getting a little worried. The oening theme of the TWILIGHT ZONE was going through my head. A favourite of that programme was PARALLEL UNIVERSES ....Was i getting glimpses of another TIM LEATHERBARROW'S breathtakingly exciting life in a parallel reality?

PROFFESSOR RICHARD FEYNMAN one of the greats of physics theorised about multiple if not infinite events each causing and creating its own univers ,each cause , causes an effect ant that effect creates its own reality ,so ,basically anything that can happen will happen and will form its own universe. So somewhere in this QUANTUM UNIVERSAL INFINITIES is TIM leatherbarrow having wild exciting times living like JAMES BOND , INDIANA JONES ,BUCK RODGERS, FLASH GORDON, KENNETH WILLIAMS and the list goes on . As all these other Tim Leatherbarrows go whizzing off into there self created universes

i'm stuck in this one ,not exactly whizzing along ,more clattering along pulled by a QUANTUMversion of a donkey and cart. Out there in the infinity of possible dimensions ,whatever could happen to me is happening right now ,except on this one so i'm writing this crappy blog , because i've got the time ,whereas i'm unable to on an infinite number of quantum universes and dimensions as i'm having a ball, or going to one and the taxi's waiting on the drive for me!

                                                     

THE INVADERS...(A QUINN MARTIN PRODUCTION!)....DAVID VINCENT HAS SEEN THEM !....AND I HAVE A FEW TIMES NOW !

NOW IS THAT OR IS THAT NOT A BEGINNING OF A TELLY PROGRAMME?.....Lousy special effects ; over the top dramatic voice over ,but ,still it is absolutly brilliant!..."A short cut he never found!..."...."..A lone deserted diner!..."...."..A man too long without sleep to carry on his journey!.." ...Great stuff. You knew it was time for 'THE INVADERS' one of the classic series from the 60's.

Nowadays they don't even bother with opening titles ,credits ,themes ,just straight in and over the next half hour or so of a 1 hour show the credits appear along the bottom of the screen ,very distracting and annoying. Gone are the days of the classic openings and theme tunes.

THE INVADERS was quite simply about an architect named DAVID VINCENT.  He was played by a good looking in a sharp featured lean way by an actor called  ROY THINNES. He was to achieve British fame as the first GERRY ANDERSON character without strings in his first real life actor filmed effort called 'JOURNEY TO THE FAR SIDE OF THE SUN'. In the INVADERS he stops for a rest as he is lost and stumbles across a landing site of ..."A ship from another galaxy!"....Thus started his one man war against the aliens.

The aliens had transformed themselves into human form and , to be honest as you watched the series every character from the highest politician to the lowest street cleaner was an alien that had been infiltrated into society. They had to be regenerated every so often in specially designed portable units .They would be put into glass tubes and the clever aliens were regenerated. They had no heartbeat, or pulse. Their little finger wouldn't bend.....I remember seeing some well brought up people at a restaurant as a kid and pointing out the aliens drinking with their little finger sticking out...I told me dad ,hoping to save the world and got an elbow in my ribs for my heroic action!.....Also they didn't bleed if cut and if they were killed they would burn up in a red glow leaving a tiny bit of ash to show where they'd been.

David Vincent , inbetween freelance jobs would troll through newspapers to find strange and weird occurences  that could be those nasty invaders plotting and scheming to destroy us ....And of he'd go in his 1960's caddillac's with the highly sprung suspension which were in all those 60's shows would either give you travel sickness or sea sickness. David Vincent , as played by Roy Thinnes had an edgy quality to him and the stunning success of the series is totally down to him. He was no nice hero ,but seemed to me bad tempered, but if  everybody thinks your nuts and your constantly running around in mortal danger trying desperatly to find, but unable to unearth solid proof proof , frustration would set in and build up .  His life is constantly being threatened and he can trust absolutly no one andif there was nobody would believe him anyway.....It would piss you off, i s'pose!

I bought the series on E-BAY a while back, then THE HORROR CHANNEL on SKY started showing them again ,so i started watching them again. Now they've finished The Horror Channel is showin a lot of the old DOCTOR WHO's ....Horror seem to want to scrape the telly vaults for these old classic series and thats fine by me. 

HIROKAZU KANAZAWA...THE MASTER !

When i were 'nobbut a lad' in the 60's n' early 70's ,my dad took me to the FORDS social club and for the next few months i was slung around the mat of the JUDO club......after that closed ,he then took me to a local school were they were doing this KARATE thingey.....This was well before BRUCE LEE and 'KUNG FU' on the telly....KARATE was JAMES BOND,etc chopping guards on the back of the neck to knock them out to aid their attempt at breaking into various secret enemy bases.

That afternoon ,during a school holiday we'd been thrown out of WIDNES BATHS, now long gone ,for being little scally pains in the arse . The guy who slung us out was reasonable and polite ,but you wouldn't argue with him. As we entered the KARATE class for that first time and asked the instructor if we could join in ,we got a shock when it turned out it was the same fellah who slung us out ,but SENSEI JOHN TATTUM didn't seemed to notice and was a nice bloke and over the next few years ,a great sensei teaching KARATE  in all its forms and techniques ,unlike today where it is basically sport orientated and a lot of techniques and basics are neglected.

I discovered 'FIGHTING ARTS' magazine published and edited by the great TERRY O'NEILL, who ,in later years i was blessed in having as my sensei for a few years. One of his two main Japanese senseis that came to ENGLAND in the 60's and ,basically started the whole 'sheebang'!....ENOEDA KEINOSUKE, nicknamed the TIGER!.....And for good reason. He was amazing ,took a love for the UK and stayed and basically made the BRITISH great ,esspecially the LIVERPOOL RED TRIANGLE the best in the world ! With him ,in charge was KANAZAWA HIROKAZU....Who didn't stay as long in the UK, but made his mark as they were two absolute masters of their art and decades later the top karateka's  have these two to thank.

In the FIGHTING ARTS  magazine was an article on KANAZAWA with pictures of flying kicks ,etc ,all great stuff to a killing machine schoolboy, who promptly found two books by KANAZAWA and ENOEDA and much to my shame 'nicked them!

I read a lot about KANAZAWA , he was a bit more 'mystical' and i was fascinated. I met and trained with ENOEDA twice ,i remember accidentally walking into him ,and he stood with golden skin and gleaming white KARATE GI.....He glowed, i was stunned, i mean nothing gleamed in WIDNES!...Then his speed and power was awsome , he scared the living daylights out of me

KANAZAWA who had been a student of the JKA(Japanese Karate Association) in the 70's had some problems and formed his own breakaway organisation the S.K.I.(Shotokan Karate International) which in the years since i think is possibly one ,if not ,the biggest organisation on the planet ,but it meant KANAZAWA spent most of his life criss crossing the globe training seminors for his beloved and faithful followers in the S.K.I.

When i went to live in INDIA i met up with SENSEI  SUBERAMANYAN who i joined up to train at some god awful time ,in the park ,every morning. The difference between my time in LIVERPOOL training with the KUGB(Karate Union Of Great Britain) was that the training was hard and physical and started leaning towards competition, stretching ,tension and grunting and screaming ,but the SKI incorporated TAI-CHI and KANAZAWA had a heavy emphasis on breathing ,which i didn't understand for a long time. I loved the TAI-CHI and would love to get back into it,but theres just no one nearby. SENSEI SUBRAMANYAN then told me after a terrible injury i'd suffered as i was getting back on my feet literally ,we'd moved to KUALUR LUMPUR and he called from INDIA to invite me over as KANCHO KANAZAWA was coming to BANGALORE and would i like to meet and train with him.....Would i /???????

I met him ,spoke with him ,dined with him and he was an amazing man ,a humble ,friendly ,very humourous man. We had a few days training and unbeknownst to me SENSEI SUBRAMANYAN had explained my problems to KANCHOso he watched me over the few days to determine wether i was due to recieve my BLACK BELT. i had been training very slow relaxed excercises as i was trying desperatly to get back into some form of shape, which i did and found the ability to move with speed and power using relaxation. Kancho explained breathing , but i was so used to the grunting way of doing things i couldn't adapt.I had been doing things as i was told never relly understanding ,so much. Only when i started the TAI-CHI and  I met KANCHO KANAZAWA and  SENSEI SUBRAMANYAN did it suddenly make sense.  A year or so later and spent some time with KANAZAWA again thanks to IRENE TCH a good friend and representative for the SKI in MALAYSIA and he explained again his philosophy again. It took a year or so for me to understand and now i have the speed and power and flexibility ,better than any other time in my life by the use of his advice about relaxing ,breathing and harmony. When i read about him now i constantly rediscover something new ,i'm 53 ,but ,at last its falling into place. 

ONE THE DAY IN bangalore After the gradings had taken place ,i was summoned out at the end ,after he'd gone through every single person with a bit of advice for all. I was called 'MISTER TIM', nobody could say LEATHERBARROW, i had to join him on stage as we filled some documents and certificates ,he never said anything about my technique, but said i needed to improve my handwriting!......My Karates fine, but my handwriting stinks!....As i left the stage the whole hall erupted in cheering and clapping for me...After the hell i'd been through.....MRS SUBRAMANYAN was sitting at the back of the hall with a huge smile .....You can take the lad out of LIVERPOOL, but you can't take LIVERPOOL out of the lad..My martial art discipline, walking straight and erect totally collapsed.I held my fist up ,shouted "YEEESSSSSSS!!!!" then burst into tears, i'd survived a life threatening accident ,recovered ,met my hero and he awarded me my black belt ,quite frankly the best moment in my life, family aside!

The poster for the training seminar was a spectacular shot of KANAZAWA kicking a block of ice to smithereens.....When he entered the hall he got a splinter in his big toe and had to wear a bandage tied round it with sort of rabbit ears sticking up. which he thought as funny as me as i burst out laughing ,as everyone else was trying to be subtle and repectful, as i said ...You can take the lad!......

Soke KANAZAWA is in his 80's , i believe he had a skiing accident and is suffering a little ,but retired from 'leggin' around the world constantly ,his excellent assistant instructors who've travelled trained and taught with him for years as well as his sons ,all excellent martial artists in their own right taking hold and carrying the KANAZAWA/ SKI torch onwards.

LUV,LUV, LUV, AND EVEN MORE LUV N' STUFF....WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?..I'LL WAIT 'TILL THE POST MORTEM!

LOVE!.....AAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhh isn't it lovely?.....We all fall in love ,our brain apparently is disconnected and the heart is brought into the equation ,or is it 'the gut'?, but that is'nt too romantic....Romance is the word that applies to all things LOVE-related...And has become a multi billion money making industry as everything from flowers to rare stones and jewellry; Greetings cards; Food; cloths ; Places ;Shows : everything is now considered  as fair game and can be considered romantic. 

Romance and love is considered ,well lovely ,pure ,good ,decent  and  is the mainstay of the  music industry ,just think how many songs of all kinds are about boys n' girls ,not  'banging the lumps of each other , sweating and grunting lustily ,no way!...Love is lovely smiles ,twinkling eyes ; Holding hands ;Thinking all the time of the subject of your love ,generally referred to as the 'BELOVED!'  ....Actually its potentially very dangerous as ,apparently the object  of your desire fills your waking and sleeping hours ,so if your not concenterating on the tasks in hand, sleep deprivation could affect your performance and temperament , in fact this love struck exhaustion could interfere with your love, as you become bad tempered and tired and possibly unemployed as your boss is sick and tired of the sparkly eyed ,happy love struck pain in the arse screwing up his business and annoying everybody around. This could cloud the light of perfection that your beloved sees you with her rose coloured spectacles, and being in love could screw it up for you . Very comlicated thing this love stuff!

When GOD created EDEN and stuck ADAM there ,he was getting really pissed off with this boring bastard that he'd lumbered himself with. It wasn't really Adam's fault he was the only person in the world so his conversation and experiances and funny stories and opinions on life ,sport and current affairs was a little lacking ,to put it mildly.

God dropped another fellah there with him for company, they could go to the pub together ,but the pubs were emptier than they are these days. They could talk football, but the remier league wasn't around and being as this was paradise EDEN CITY F.C. never lost a game, so that never worked the two were twice as boring as the one.

God thought this original 'Gay Marriage 'wasn't really working , so he took the 'partner 'and adapted the 'dangly bits' converting to lumps and bumps which became EVE....When Adam saw her ,in shock he exclaimed  "WO!, man?" ,so God thought ,"Thats a good name ..WOMAN!"

The dangly bits and lumpy bits didn't really have the desired effect, Eve used to go off and went on the very first fruit diet which got them thrown out of EDEN, still not attracted to the woman Adam blurted "Oh cover yourself up , woman!"....She demanded the same , so when they covered themselves in fig leaves a very strange thing occurred .They fancied each other rotten ,even though they new full well what lay beneath the fig leaves, they desperatly wanted to  see the wares , the brain was disconnected as the body became a bubbling cauldron of biochemicals and  after a lot of very strange experimentation sex and lust was invented.

There was no such thing as love , just slobbering lust and sex....They didn't have babies in those days they 'Begat!'.....If you look in the Bible the first 400 pages are these brothers begatting each other ,so as there was no other women ,they were the most inbred family ,ever!....In fact it is this that has caused mankind to be the sickest ,most deranged bunch of maniacs in creation.

God decided that this surge in sex crazed nutters had to be staunched. By dabbling with the body chemicals and  moving the 'busy' bits from groin to heart by playing disco music he created love ,so that man and woman would fall in love rather than plunge into lust. Marriage and families and all those dubious ofshoots of love came into being....

Love was invented to cut down on unadulterated non stop sexual  practises, sex was tempered by love,  which will come as no great suprise to most husbands

Think of the BEATLES  for instance.....Love is one of the main lynch pins of their out put  they were in the 60's the LOVE GENERATION????....Everything was 'PEACE N' LOVE!"....It could be possibly blamed on the Beatles . 

But even the love peddlers, those great 'cute mop'eads ' from the banks of the Mersey mud , if you look ,possibly unintentionally exposed the drawbacks of love. They sang about all the stereotypical sissy stuff about love and romance ,etc , etc, but if you look chronalogically at their romantic output. By just dipping in here and there we start with 'LOVE ME DO!'....'SHE LOVES YOU!'....'ALL MY LOVING!'.....'A HARD DAYS NIGHT( not too romantic ,is the rot setting in ?)....YESTERDAY!'..(A broken heart!)....HELP!....(Says it all !!) 

True love was when you suddenly went into school one day ....The previous day you hated sissy 'GURLS!'....Then some girl smiles at you and  'BOOM!' You follow her home spending months  making an absolute prick of yourself trying to impress her and get her attention. Later at secondary school ,your first school disco standing around with your mates until the last song of the night ,ussually ,at the time 'JE T'AIME!'....You had three minutes to ask some girl to dance ;Swa some inane smalltalk ,hopefully leading up to a snog and ossibly being allowed to walk her home. If you were successful you were floating above the ground for days until you returned to school and your dreams were dashed as she was totally unmoved by this earth shattering experiance and had virtually ,or wanted to totally forget it and you!

Men who ,originally had problems with the love over sex stuff, whereas woman seemed more comfortable with it....Men will love their lady wife ,forgiving their flaws, failures, etc ,but women are quite happy to point out your failures ,stupidities, ugly points, imperfections, but somehow it seems to work ,generally. Listen to the 60's pop music and soul and Disco of the 70's it 's all explained by THE MONKEE'S and BARRY WHITE!!!

PETER CAPALDI....DOCTOR WHO , No 12.....HE'S BEEN GONE AND IS ALMOST HERE !

They say that time travel is impossible ,to an extent i suppose it is.....You can't go back to change the past as it has happened and if you could you would fuck up the universe by the cause of TEMPORAL PARADOXES ....Going back and killing your grandad ,so you would never be born ,so you couldnt grow to go back and kill him ,so you would then be born as normal ...Only to grow ....And go through it all again ,he'd die ; You wouldn't be born and on we go, ad infinitum ,so feasibly time would grind to a halt .....Thats according to our famous beloved past bugger-upper ,DOCTOR WHO!....The futures a different kettle of TARDIS grease as we are powering into the future all the time, whereas we can't affect the past ,everything we do affects the future. We travel through the present on our way to the future at the speed of time. The speed of time is relative to a variety of things.

Your mind is like a TARDIS and whereas your surroundings are the room ,office,car your in ,whatever ,your mind is infinite and makes you feel like your travelling through time. When your happy and active time zooms by, holidays flash past for example....When your bored or pissed off ,time drags by . You look foreward to something a long way in the future and suddenly your sitting there and its long passed and happened. 

When you were a kid things like school holidays seemed to last for months , nowadays that same period would be about the same length of time you could hold your breath for! As you get older time does accelerate , like a formula 1 car ,in the distance ,moving slowly over great distances ,in the distance, then, as it comes near it blasts past and dissapears into the distance again like events and years.

Only fairly recently the 'newest' DOCTOR WHO'..MATT SMITH announced his retirement from the role. The excitment built ....Who was the replacement ; The 50th anniversary was to be a DOCTOR WHO orgy of Whovian celebrations ......Suddenly thats history ,already been repeated on television.

Next is CHRISTMAS and forget the Oueens Speech ,etc ,DOCTOR WHO'S regeneration will take place the new boy will be unveiled. The drink, food ,presents ,decorations and most new year resolutions have already been long forgotten, its all over for another year.....We were waiting for the glimpse of the ,it has to be said 'very promising' looking new Doctor ...PETER CAPALDI....An interesting looking character who looks half the age of WILLIAM HARTNELL the first Doctor, even though he's the same age.

It'll be good to have a crazed ,bad tempered old fellah as the Doctor ,rather than the beloved schoolgirl sex symbols of lately, they have to cater for the miserable old farts amongst us!.....Before you know it the year will be drawing to a close ,we'll see the new series and SKY will be showing the repeats five times a day and capaldi will be over before you know it and here we go again, but in the period of time the calendar will be running a lot faster as the DOCTOR WHO'S and JAMES BONDS change seemingly on a weekly basis.

They shouldn't call it old age ....Fast or accelerated age would be more accurate.

MERRY THINGEY N' A HAPPY NEW WOTSIT N' STUFFING !!!!

Hope you all have a shockingly debauched and disgraceful christmas that will cause you shame and embarrassment for many years to come......All the best Tim ,The Lovely Lynne ,the Little(?) 'un Elara n' Charlie the dog xxx

WHEN I WALK THE DOG I KEEP MY NUTS UNDER WRAPS , SO WHY CAN'T THE SQUIRRELS?

The other day i was guzzling yet another mug of tea watching an old 'original STAR TREK'..in HD....I couldnt see the difference, STAR TREK was one of those 60's series that wasn't grainy ,but more slightly blurred. When we went up market once upon a lifetime ago and got our first colour telly . One of the features of colour telly was the lack of grainliness, but the increase in blurriness....The new HD just makes it more blurry ,so back to the first colour telly ,but watching it on our new 'Flat-Screen'. 

CAPTAIN SHATNER and the crew were on an alien paper mache surface ,with SPOCK,McCOY and a couple in the RED shirts who you always knew were going to get killed, all got the order ,"Set phasers to stun!"....to get some rubber alien wandering about . Just after i took the dog out for a ramble in the woods and as i shuffled along as the dog pee'ed n' sniffed on every bush n'  plant in the whole wood, the squirrels opened fire and i could hear a few nuts thudding to the floor and 2 clacked off my skull, i couldn't believe it!...They'd opened fire and set their phasers to 'NUTS', dyslexic squirrels i s'pose! 

LEWIS COLLINS....R.I.P......BIG BAD BODIE'S FINALLY WRAPPED IN A BODIE BAG!

The rough ,gruff scotsman COWLEY, who some of the angels at the bar in Heaven thought looked like that famous scottish actor from films and 'UPSTAIRS ,DOWNSTAIRS!'.....GORDON JACKSON ordered "Another large malt!" and proceeded to guzzle it down after hobbling over to his table . He was clearly troubled by a bad leg, but got down to the 'paperwork'....He was head of C.I.5....'The big boys!'; The'Heavy mob!'; The 'Hard men' of criminal intelligence. On Earth in his life he fought criminal,spies and terrorists ,but in Heaven the Devils minions from 'Down there!' were the problem.

When he was alive he had two men who were so good and hard and tough ,even though they were only actors they were what he needed. They were called 'BODIE and DOYLE!' .....Doyle played by MARTIN SHAW was a thespian and was ok, but was the sensitive character to LEWIS COLLIN'S....BODIE! Lewis Collins born and brought up around Merseysides posh part ,on the Wirral ,playing in the MOJO'S during the later Mersey beat times.  He started acting and played in bits and pieces and ,ironically considering his 'hard man' character of later years was a dab hand at comedy.

SHAW and COLLINS were spotted in the terrible 'NEW AVENGERS' and were remembered when the PROFFESSIONALS was put foreward....Lots of kicking in of doors ,gunfights and all kind of fights were crammed into each episode ,with lots of naughties ,SHAW was often 'in love!', but BODIE was 'a lad!'.....Always in big collared jackets ,flared pants looking dapper n' smart ,well for the 80's ?????....They both had a terrible sense of direction because whenever they got an emergency call ,it was always when they were going in the wrong direction ,thus entailing a handbrake turn. 

I always liked COLLINS ,although he fancied himself as a 'hard ,mans man', which caused tensions during the early days of filming between the two leads ,there was, i always thought , a good bit of scouse tongue in cheek.....A favourite moment was when BODIE thought he was being followed and swung the car to a screeching halt with the usual handbrake turn. He leapt out of the car vaulted the bonnet ,another staple of the series, and pulled his gun waiting for his pursuers, who never showed ...He'd been mistaken. But a line of shoked people stood at the bus stop gave him a rousing 'round of applause', he gave a wry smile and a slight appreciative nod!

After the series finished ,after the S.A.S. and the IRANIAN EMBASSY SIEGE ,the 'latest thing' was the S.A.S. And Collins leapt in for his first stint as a special forces daredevil sort in 'WHO DARES WINS!'...Not a classic, but 'good fun, as were most of his tough guy B-film type stuff ,after ,although he acted with some well known faces. He even ,actually tried for the S.A.S. But ,apparently was knocked back ,as his face was to 'well known'....Cubbt Broccolli knocked him back for BOND as he was too 'aggressive'..That could've been interesting, but 'ah well!'

But Cowley smiled as he heard the car crashed through the pearly gates and gunfire followed....."Och!,..Bodie where the hell have you been ,i need a good man!"....."Sorry ,sir i've been living it up in Los Angeles and fighting cancer for 5 years!.."......"Och ! enough of that we''ve work t'do!.....Another two malts over here, bar angel!"

PETER GABRIEL......'SO' WHAT?......HE WAS GREAT THATS 'SO' WHAT!!!!!

A few weeks ago my good tall grey wispy haired Geordie mate Simon Malia treated me to a ticket and a lift to Manchesterland, although it is the wrong end of the M62 for me there is times when situations demand this selfless sacrifice of my geographical principles ,this was one of those times. We had tickets to go and see a certain Mr PETER GABRIEL.

I had his 'SO!' album for quite a while, but never really played it ,as i had a couple of his GENESIS albums and never really played them. I used to play a lot of music, but tended towards RADIO5 and RADIO4 extra these days, old fartdom setting in i s'pose!...But i slowly got to like the 'SO' album and GABRIELS tunes and slightly gravely voice and listened more and more ,until fairly recently delved into the realms of early GENESIS and confess to loving them. Even the silly bits ,but the sweeping melodic bits are wonderful ,frustrating even ,as you cant really whistle them as your washing the dishes or walking the dog as us 'living life on the edge' cartoonists do!

But GABRIEL was replaying a few acoustic bits he was working on ,all very good ,then some electric pumped up bits and finally the whole ,but not quite! of the 'SO'album.....And very excellent t'was too. The only piss off factor for me ,and when i'm having a drink one day with Mr PETER GABRIEL i will be mentioning it ,is that he never played a favourite of mine SAN JACINCTO!....Swine!

But it was a great night and he seems to be a nice bloke as well and if he's round the right end of the M62 i might even drop in and tap my toes to him again!

DOCTOR WHO 50TH ANNIVERSARY ON HIS 900TH ODD BIRTHDAY...dO TIME LORDS AGE IN DOGGIE YEARS 18 FOR EVERY 1 OF OURS?

Whenever anyone says 'where were you when Kennedy was shot/'....Some of us know exactly ,as we couldn't give a shit about American politics and shag happy American presidents from mob friendly ex-bootlegging anti-British families, and we were only snotty kids , were watching 'Doctor Who!' Kennedy's assassination did admittedly have far reaching effects the main one being that the DOCTOR WHO pilot was reshown the following week after being lost in the 'Hu-Harr' of President Kennedy's exploding head.

It is the 50 th anniversary of the shooting ,but it is also the 50th anniversary of DOCTOR WHO and  the world has gone into a supernova size frenzy over, the fact that this time travelling time lord is celebrating his 50th anniversary on his 900th odd year ....Time lords must have age a little like Earth dogs ,but they age 18 years to our 1 year.

We live in times were everything is shown by advances in technology leaving no place for a certain brain function that once we all had and cultivated ...IMAGINATION!!!! Imagination was a wonderful thing ,where whole worlds and universes could exist in the mind of anybody and pictures from radio series  ,books and comics came to life ,but with the advent of things like CGI imagination has taken a serious battering. In the long far off days of the birth of DOCTOR WHO when all was filmed in a BBC warehouse full of draughts and fire sprinklers going off mid-scene and where everything was mad from cardboard ,old loo roll holders and ream upon ream of duct tape ....All of time and space was made .....Now that is imagination...The viewers watching through tiny screens at snowy black and white images were held spellbound .....Imagination running free!

The story of an old scientist in a time machine, well thats ok!...A little H.G. WELLS'ian ,but good stuff, then he's in a police telephone box from the 1950's ,which ,when you step inside is vast in size compared to outside ,not only the control room, but corridors and other rooms, DIMENSIONAL DISPACEMENT iseem to remember it being explained as ,there thats reasonable enough!....Why a police telephone box , for gods sake? Apparently ,so the 'ship' wouldn't stand out on alien landscapes it was equipped with the ,now famous 'CHAMELEON CIRCUIT',which changed it 's shape, but 'got stuck' and 'got stuck' as a police box...Aliens all over the universe now know what an English 1950's public police box looks like from the planet Earth.....And it even had a name the T.A.R.D.I.S.(Time And Relative Dimensions In Space)....Sounds 'Whizzo-super,but it was knackered and although they could whizz through time and space they had no control of where they were going, all added to the fun and gave you companions who had reason to grumble with the idiot of a Doctor who couldn't take them home. Nowadays the bright blue lovely clean TARDIS can turn on a stopwatch and go anywhere ,to the second and all the companions are bright young things loving the wacky ,zany doctor and looking for adventure.

The inside was wonderful too. In the beginning the walls were a mass of cicular globes ,apparently photographed pop out tablet holders by the special effects people ,but with a hexagonal control panel plonked in the middle it gave this sparten, but mysterious, etherial look to it ,totally alien. It was like that ,basically until TOM BAKER the 4th Doctor ,at one point ,gave it a captains bridge on a victorian sailing ship ,dark wooden panelling and all. The last couple of 'new boys' have gone all 'retro' and smoke,sparks,and lots of pumping and turning wheels drives the 'old girl'...I doubt they could flush the T.A.R.D.I.S. toilet without sparks and smoke.

The other huge grounbreaking part was the sound and music of the opening titles . Composer RON GRAINER  of the BEEB's famous ( once ) RADIOPHONIC WORKSHOP by looping sound tapes and film got audio and visual distortions that became the original opening titles for years ,possibly more frightening then the show. The T.A.R.D.I.S. engines were created from these techniques the hissing and ashmatic wheezing sound of take off when the central column started 'pumping' was made from the sound of scraping a key on the chord strings of a piano lying on its side in the corner.....Those sound effects , opening titles of breaking and joining blobs ,the music ,hissing, etc still blows me away!.....Anybody who says they prefer the new whizz bang CGI  effects of today just don't know what they are talking about!

Originally ,no 'Robots ,B.E.M.s( Bug-Eyed Monsters) were allowed....All historical adventures to educate the kids and develop a love of science and history. The first story was a dodgy one about cavemen and their quest for fire, but after that.....Well, after that a gentleman by the name of TERRY NATION gave in a script called THE MUTANTS and introduced to the world a 'bug-eyed robot which went by the name of THE DALEKS!!!!!!.....And nothing would ever be the same again!....The BEEB had audiences through the roof , merchandising and even two films remaking two of their stories, as the DALEKS had to be brought back, ad infinitum...Scriptwriters have gone nuts with the DALEKS and all they scream ,which in itself is odd for emotionless creatures is ....c'mon, all together now .."EXTERMINATE!" Again and again and again....In the first story i dont think they even said it ,possibly once. The first story shaped the rest .....They arrive in a strange place and mystery and drama as they explore ,then meet the baddies ,get taken prisioner than drama becomes adventure as they have to escape and foil the baddies plots which ussually involves lots of running around. then back to the T.A.R.D.I.S. in time for a tube of dinner from the food dispenser.

The first Doctor was hard man actor WILLIAM HARTNELL his Doctor was a grumpy old man with his beloved grandaughter SUSAN. He was alien, bad tempered ,crafty ,but mellowed over time with his accidental companions IAN and BARBERA. Hartnell became ill and his co stars had left and changed so he couldn't go on. Neccesity being the mother of invention, it was then that REGENERATION of the Doctor was thought of. WILLIAM HARTNELL'S Doctor ,was dying so regenerated himself into another version of himself with all his memories, but totally different character and features, this new 'cosmic hobo' was played in an equally mysterious manner ,but with a more gentle brighter side ,even humerous by the excellent character actor PATRICK TROUGHTON. His Doctor lasted with great success for 3 more years.

The BEEB in its wisdom and non stop attempts to save money wiped the tapes of many of Hartnells and Troughtons episodes ,most arelost but turn up in sheds and carboot sales. A few months ago ,the DOCTOR WHO world erupted with the news 106 episodes had been found in ETHIOPIA, they might have little food and supplies ,but they wont be hungry for classic sci-fi, but it turned ot to be a heap of newspaper shit and about 12 surfaced ,a few new DVD's for the x-mas market will be released.

TROUGHTON was replaced by JON PERTWEE,master of VENUSIAN KARATE/AIKIDO, and ace REVERSER OF THE NEUTRON FLOW!....There was a rumour SIR NED OF WALES, sir HARRY SECOMBE  himself  might squeeze into the TARDIS..." What/ what?what? Thhhhrrrrrppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"...A time travelling ball of blubber as SPIKE MILLIGAN might've put it

Tom Baker curly hair, bulging eyes and 50 foot sca

rf came next ,these were all in colour ,but special effects didn't improve and  you were torn between loving and hating its brilliance and crapness...Crossrads/Acorn antiques in space. Doctors came and went ,all different ,everybody has their favourites ,most go by the one they watched as a kid ,but no matter what the events going on the whole thing hangs on the character of the Doctor ,no pressure there for the actor then?

It occurred to me when JONATHAN ROSS and RUSSELL BRAND got into trouble sending improper phone calls to ANDREW SACHS daughter ,they coud be DOCTOR WHOSSY and his alien companion RUSS!....Causing cosmic mayhem sending dirty messages to the EMPEROR DALEK  about naughties with DAVRO'S daughter.......

BILL TIDY........ALL MY PROBLEMS STARTED WITH HIM , ITS ALL HIS FAULT !.....HE WAS THE SWINE THAT MADE ME WANT TO BE A CARTOONIST!!!!

When i were nobbut a lad.....On a Friday evening the local news programme 'GRANADA REPORTS' was on . One night a tall fellah with glasses was introduced standing in front of a huge sheet of paper....And proceeded to draw the weeks news in thick marker pen at dazzling speed as he spoke through the tales of that particular week ,in the 60's ,he was in black and white along with his drawing which in the space of a few minutes filled the wall with this wonderful universe of insanity which was all the more suprising as it was only the news and as every lad knew the news was boring as shit!....But i was hooked ! The following day i found myself drawing in the funny squiggly way that this fellah had done....This fellah was none other than the immortal BILL TIDY !!!!

So on a Friday that was 'IT!'....Whatever happened , tough!..BILL TIDY was on and that was the nucleus of my week....Infact in my cartooning universe BILL TIDY was the 'Big Bang!'....I don't remember much of his 'CLOGGIES' stories , a tale of hard drinking ,clog wearing folk, but his next epic 'THE FOSDYKE SAGA!',an epic tale of tripe making folk, was in the DAILY MIRROR daily....And a few years ago i got a heap of the books and they are wonderful ,BILL TIDY has a sense of humour that isn't so much 'outside the box', but just nowhere near any box ,i look at his stuff and ,obviously some are better than others, but its always a case of "where in god's name did that come from?"......Over the years i learned to love a variety of cartoonists from various sources ,but BILL TIDY must assume full responsibility for what i've become......SWINE !!!!!!!

These pictures are of Bill last week at a private showing of  BILL TIDY...BILL STOTT....and TONY HUSBAND....Arranged by Bill Stott  , the two Bills and Tony did an illustrated talk and very funny they were too. Bill Tidy introduced us to the 'CLOGGIES!' and a very large breasted barmaid which he clearly enjoyed drawing in greater detail than any other character that night.....A few glasses of wine and meeting up with some old friends ensured a very pleasant evening was had by all. I was quite pleased as Bill remembered me and we chatted ,very silly conversation ,he only wanted me to keep his glass filled...Telling me .."If you tell anyone you saw me with an empty glass ,i'll kill you!"....

Stood behind Bill is the other Bill, BILL STOTT seemingly enjoying himself as he should i believe he put a lot of effort into it ,well done ,sir....It was also BILL TIDY'S 90th birthday and they'd made a cake ,a beautiful creation by ANDY DAVEY'S partner ,who i'm ashamed to say ,i can't think of her name ,but she did this cake in the shape of a pair of battered old clogs ,wonderful and a shame to cut into it !

This is Bill ,no doubt giving me some fatherly advice ,or possibly telling me he'd smash me face in if i didn't get him a drink!

Sad to say ,comparing haircuts!!!!

I told him how everything bad thats ever happened to me is because of him and causing me to a cartoonist ,he seemed quite pleased and proud to accept the mantle of blame!

After this ,the boss..THE LOVELY LYNNE  said we'd have to leave as we had to go out the following day so we only had about 12 hours to find our way out of Manchester ,it only took us about 8 hours to find the gallery and the pub where we were to meet CHRIS WILLIAMS  ,he of the CARTOONIST CLUB OF GREAT BRITAIN inner sanctum.....Manchesters a swine of a place to get around ,Lynnes sat-Nav gave up and had a nervous breakdown ,started sobbing and wanted to" go home to mummy!"

HIS MASTERS VOICE! ......HIS MASTERS LUMP HAMMER !.....AND MY STUCK CD'S !!!!!!!

We've had a stereo system for a number of years now and a fine little set it has been ,until recently when it wouldnt play any CDs' and wouldnt eject any ,so i had 5 at this time favourite dics swallowed up....Nothing i could do would do any bloody good......The other day ,THE LOVELY LYNNE bought a very nifty small compact set from where else ,but ASDA.....One of the funny things is that it only plays one disc at a time which has had a strange effect .....Instead of filling the multi-disc with a heap of discs set to play in any order by the wonder of the wonderful 'Mode' switch, i've found i'm playing one disc at a time in order like playing vinyl records once long ago, then replacing it on the shelf ,which was a habit i'd fallen out of as a heap of disc holders built up alongside the player and stuff left neglected on the shelf gathered dust. But i find whenever i want to play something i'm choosing the stuff i'd not bothered with for ages.

Just recently i've been listening to a lot of PETER GABRIEL and early GENESIS which i've 'clicked onto and just love....A few of them were stuck in the old set with the full concert of THE WHO'S,....'LIVE AT HULL', which is part of the 'LIVE AT LEEDS' box set, so i wanted the stuff back. I started subtley enough with the screwdriver and as time and technology moved on i felt the implementation of brute force was required to get at the discs in a metal box in amongst the electronic 'gubbins ', i felt i was disconnecting the 'LARGE HADRON COLLIDER'....If i wasn't getting my discs back i could've discovered the secret of the HIGGS BOSON and the secret of DARK MATTER in the universe, but i decided that CERN in Switzerland could sort that out and i'd get my discs back, selfish ,i know ,but hey?.....I spend a lot of time alone in the house and i like music and the radio......

As i said ,if you've been paying attention i've been listening to a lot of classic GENESIS lately ,in fact a fair bit of 'PROG' rock , YES ....'GOING FOR THE ONE !' is great. I've also been watching a series on PBS about the history of JAZZ which is quite good and much to LYNNES annoyance i quite like 'THE BLUES', all this "OLD STUFF!!"...She's an 80's girl ...."YEEEUUUCCCKK!!!".....

The other week we went to see an 80 year old living legend PETULA CLARK and she was great...I''ve been whistling ,humming and singing 'DOWNTOWN' ever since. As an experiment ,gently hum 'Downtown!' and everyone around you within minutes will be humming, whistling or singing that 'damn song!'...I guarantee it....

Listening to it ,i've been kicked off again ,i'll be Downtowning for another week, at least ....She had a lovely voice ,clear as a bell ,ya gotta admit!....Listen to it and with the aid of a calendar see how long it is 'till you can get the tune out of your head!

10% OF RYANAIR PLANES DON'T LAND....AND 100% 0F PASSENGERS HAVE BUGLE INDUCED HEART ATTACKS ,IF THEY'VE SURVIVED THE MENTAL BREAKDOWN FROM ONLINE BOOKING!!!!!

On my way to Ireland the other week to take part in the COOTEHILL CARTOON FESTIVAL....After an intensive period of therapy and various drugs to cure me of a series of mental problems following my multiple attempts at booking a return ticket ,online with RYANAIR!....I had just about recovered from the multiple breakdowns and had been out of the straitjacket for days by this time, as my beloved missus ,the Lovely Lynne dropped me at JOHN LENNON airport ,or as the Scouse still call it SPEKE AIRPORT to get the plane i had suffered so much to get.

We were shuttled through quite quickly ,seated and before we knew it ,off and upwards into the great grotty grey with touches of blue yonder. The stewardesses were very friendly and drinks ,etc were on tap almost right away ,the coffee was nice and the chicken salad butty was lovely. Much to my annoyance the dreaded flying cattle wagon i had imagined was turning into a pleasant flight. Liverpool to Dublin is a veritable 'hop skip n' a jump!' So as we got our food and drink it was almost time to make our approach so the seatbelt sign went on and we had to put our tables up even though we all had our food and virtually full drinks, we had to juggle the two and listen to the usual totally indecypherable  message from our smooth sounding Captain.....Then silence!

.......As the plane swooped down ,i was feeling quite relaxed ,not one to enjoy bumpy landings ,but i was quite calm, then this deafening bugle call boomed out of the speakers ,every passenger on the plane jumped ,what that weighty passenger instantaneous bounce did to the flight path on its approach i dont want to know.....This heart stopping 'Charge of the Light Brigade .'TARA,TARA,TARA!!!!!..... Was followed by an announcement which i thought said.."THANK YOU FOR FLYING RYANAIR!...Where 90% of our flights land?".....I had an image of 10% of RYANAIR aircraft scattered across the land and seas....It was later i realised they were telling us that 90% of their flights landed, ON TIME!....Then off ,straight through the area and to the bar , quite relaxed and dissapointingly pleased with my journey!

The reason i was dissapointed with being pleased and satisfied was because of the hell i went through trying to book on line a few weeks earlier ,it was an absolute bastard of a job and took me a number of shots to get there ,but in the end i got there and tried to print off my boarding pass and couldnt as the printer just gave up and has never worked since, not only did i find myself on the verge of losing my mind, but the printer couldnt stand the strain and gave up the will to print. The flight worked out at a respectable £41 ,but i ticked a low weight for baggage and was automatically hammered for £50 ,as it turned out the bag i took i could've brought on board for free, instead of getting hammered for £90-odd, so much messing with the questionairre i didn't realise 'till too late...(sob, whimper!)

A cartooning friend JON BERKELEY saw the suffering and pain i was going through and forewarded me this bit of FASCINATING AIDA performing 'CHEAP FLIGHTS!' a wonderfully funny skit on the cheapo flights and very ,in fact too close to the truth.

THE COOTEHILL CARTOON FESTIVAL, CLASH OF THE TITANS....CARTOONISTS V THE WORLD TURKEY PLUCKING CHAMPION !!!!!!

  About a year ago i got in touch about the possibility of a cartoon festival in the town where my family hail from in Ireland, with a family friend JONATHAN SMYTH who lives that little town in COUNTY CAVAN , called COOTEHILL, A name which caused much amusement of the cartoonist / caricaturist MARK NESBITT, (LUKE WARM). Infact he's doing the poster next year if it goes ahead again ,as we all hope....A lovely part of IRELAND  very green with grass and cow dung ,off road....On road ,gravel and stones, the area  is widely credited for inventing pot holes make driving an interesting and breathtaking experience....It is also the town where my mothers family come from and i spent a good chunk of my life visiting and loving every minute 'roughing it' with a mass of cousins on my 'Grannies' farm ,sadly no one is left there and the old house is falling to 'rack n' ruin....I always wanted to go back ,but suggested in passing about hosting a cartoon festival ,which they pounced on and before i knew it we were up n' running.

I got in touch with the ,mainly Irish cartoonists from the old and partially remembered wild insanity of the RATHDRUM CARTOON FESTIVAL organised by the late great TERRY WILLERS and his amazing wife ,that force of nature VALERIE, in the 90's. A few English lads jumped on board ,but i had to keep numbers down ,as money ,etc was at a premium... 

As the year wore on ,there was a few bumps along the road as they say and at one time communications were few and far between and nerves started to fray and people started to pull out. When things were back on track and various suggestions were made and taken on board and we 'wuz cookin' on gas' and some of the crew were ,thankfully 'back on board'...And we were off!

The 13 September, Friday afternoon a group of us met up in ,suprise ,suprise !!! The bar at Dublin Airport!...Our lift and one of the organisers HARRY KEATING picked us up to take us from 'the Dirty awl town' out into the 'bogs' and the Craic was well and truly 'on' after not really seeing each other in a long time...But as with anytime friends get together even after a long time the conversation, piss taking and general bull shit carries on as if it had all been only yesterday!....Very soon our warm feeling was replaced by a full feeling eminating from out bladders, something to do with the bar in the airport! And a roadside emergency stop was urgently called for.....As we went about our 'business against some farmers gate, for some reasons ,of which i am not going anywhere near, the conversation turned to horses!...We had arrived!!!!!!!

After finding a very nice holiday home we were crashing in we stocked up on lovely Irish bacon ,sausages and eggs to keep us going in lovely greasy Irish breakfasts and late night butties as well as gallons of tea and coffee......Then!.....Into town and ....THE PUB!.....SMITHS BAR!.....Run by a highly disreputable character whom i knew years ago when he was slim, handsome with thick dark hair having 'a thing' with my sister.....As everybody in Cootehill told me they were aware as Don had told them , secrets never get kept or die the just get repeated and exaggerated over the years. Don is the official looking fellah next to me ,with the chain,seated 2nd from the right. Don ,gawd bless the swine was great with us all over the weekend ,everybody was great ,i've never been treated with so much friendliness as over that weekend!...

The guy on the left seated was another organiser ,Malachy Magee, a really nice enthusiastic guy who was so up for the festival to work.

The tall blonde lady in towards the middle was another organiser ,the lovely Elaine Grills who was ,again ,absolutly great ,god bless and thanks to them all. This was at the library where we were up to do a cartooning workshop ,noone had a clue where we were going with it ,i said "just wing it!".....Which is what we did and all of us contributed  and the points ,techniques and ideas ,just bounced around like a pinball machine and was a great success ,the librarian MARGARET BANNONwas delighted and ,apparently a great time was had by all.

The 'HOLE IN THE HEAD GANG' consisted of ME..(of course,..Looking good after the excesses of the previous night!)....HUNT (The guv'nor ) EMERSON.....MARK ( Luke Warm ) NESBITT......ROGER ( I'm not dead yet!) O'REILLY.......JON ( Fries the best irish breakfast in Spain ) BERKELEY......GRAEME ( I didn't invite him ) KEYES.........AIDAN (Pain in the arse ) COONEY...And little Daniel  kept hostage until they tore up our bar tab !...This is one of the last photos as Aidan drained the battery on my camera.....There wasn't a clean or nice word uttered over the whole weekend, but plenty of laughing ,mainly at others expense ,but ,such is life ,a good time was had by all and they all worked bloody hard ,which is amazing as non of them are even on nodding terms with hard work!

This is an ,apparently very rare shot of 'Mein Host ', DON SMITH smiling, as he said for me to "Make sure you get my best side!!!".....General hilarity ensued as the locals informed us in highly colourful terms their particular opinions on what constituted 'Dons best side!'

Don was quite annoyed that his entry into the COOTEHILL SCARECROW COMP' hadn't been accepted by the judges.....We asked where it was ,he told us it was just behind us. There was a table with a pair of shoes.......THE INVISIBLE MAN!!!!!!

THE FULL MONTY

E.T.

IRON MAN.

MARILYN MONROE

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Over the weekend was  big music festival for a ,now deceased local man who opened a shoe factory in the town his name was GERRY WHELAN and the festival took his name,his daughter CONNIE was one of the organisers, but was away in Australia during the festivities , so except for a few phone conversations, we never met, sadly. Every pub was playing live music and the old town was bouncing. One pub Mullens had a quartet of beautiful young girls who were also an excellent band ,me and Aidan Cooney drew them and a heap of locals then went ,by way of a few other pubs 'back to base' at Smiths bar ,he had a band ,although a great band ,they were the other end of the scale ,old and ugly ,real characters ,a joy to draw ,one guy with an old hat and a beard about 5 feet long, he was wonderful and had me dripping tears of laughter on my drawing.

The following day the weather broke and the wind, rain and cold hit, proper Cootehill weather!!!!...The main street was blocked off to traffic as stalls were set up ,classic cars ,food ,music ,a town marathon race and  local man ,the one and only VINCE PILKINGTON.....THE WORLD TURKEY PLUCKING CHAMPION!!!!!.....Was putting on his very popular crowd pulling display, tough competition, indeed!...Actually ,if i'd 've known i'd've gone to see it myself.  We scribbled in a tent and as the winds increased and the temperature dropped, i  started

 to shiver and had to concenterate on keeping lines steady. Locals started to supply me with hot whiskies, of which i'd never had one ,love Irish coffee's ,but hot whiskies ,definitly warmed the system and steadied the line. The crowds seemed pleased and came from all over even on such a miserable day as the Sunday turned out to be. Then ,finally into the boozer and 'a few!' and once warm indoor pub scribbling...Its a good way of staying sober and helps the Guinness flow smoothly. A few of the lads were nagging over having a rest or going for a bite, but i find that can screw me up more than staying drawing 'on the pop!'

But all seemed to go well and the organisers seemed determined to go ahead next year ,onwards and upwards, bigger and better.....And it only took 5 days to sort of recover !

Cheers and thanks to all involved and esspecially the bunch of cartooning deadbeats i have to call my friends ....YOU WERE GREAT !

MEEEEEEEE !!!!!!

ME....ROGER O'REILLY....GRAEME KEYES

HARRY (Our faithful driver ,A star!).....HUNT (Another star )EMERSON.

A happy GRAEME KEYES....A cause for concern ?

An intellectual looking JON BERKELEY....Theres no glass in the lens.

THE REMAINS OF THE FAMILY HOME!