I THINK MY DAUGHTERS GOT A FACE.....SOMEWHERE BEHIND THE COMPUTER GAME , UNDER THE HAIR!!!!!!!

The other day my darling daughter was all excited 'cos her friend was coming over to stay the night , or have a 'sleep over'. When they arrived ,there was a little talking and giggling ,then they sat down in different rooms huddled over those 'damned, bloody effin' GAME BOY computer games. All i could see was the back of the game boy; a pair of hunched shoulders; And a mass of hair hanging down between them. No words were passed ,just a mass of bleeps ,blarps ,bloops , etc, etc. Thouroughly puzzled ,baffled and befuddled by this very strange scenario. I commented, or ,as THE LOVELY LYNNE, would argue , i shouted....."What the hell is going on?..Your best mates here and you havent spoken two words and your not even sitting in the same bloody room, fer christs sake!"....Lynne informed me that they didnt need to do any of these things, as they were playing a game with each other on the two game boys... I rolled my eyes and remembered how 'As a lad' if i had any mates around the house ,we'd damn near wreck the joint. And wouldnt stop talking 'till exhaustion set in, or my dad threatened to kill us if we didn' ''Shut the 'eff!', up''.

But i hate that bloody GAMEBOY, it hooks into her brain and communication of any kind is totally useless and an utter waste of time. I just get this uncontrollable urge to smash it to bits. I'm told my daughter ,ELARA is very pretty, but its been so long since i've seen her face, i cant actually agree or disagree. I imagine she must be ok, coming from good breeding stock as me and the LOVELY LYNNE, she's not bad a bad looker, i must admit, and i'm relatively gorgeous, so she must be quite pretty, unless she's taken after the dog.

THE HAIRCUT....STILL HANDSOME AFTER ALL THESE HAIRS !

Over the last few months the Leatherbarrow silken locks were given free rein to grow free, without fear of the barbers scissors, comb and razor to frighten the follicles. At first i dutifully combed my wavy locks and looked slick n' smart. After a while i'd just run my fingers through it after a shower ,as the weeks grew by and i noticed for the first time in my life, i was getting curly hair. I had a sort of 'windswept n' interesting look about me, a little unusual for someone who hardly sets foot outside, but quite impressive when your walking the dog. I'm sure if i met any lady dog walkers below the age of 60 ,they'd be quite taken with this wild untamed enigmatic character and his not so wild and untamed West Highland terrier. But then disaster struck. I started to develop a little kink at the side part above my forehead this became a sort of quiff, which took a downward turn to become a sort of Superman kiss curl, which then pulled out of its dive and started curling upwards . When we went away to fry in the Portugese sun and be eaten by the Portugese flies n' 'mossies', I had a ,as i liked to think of it a 'beach bum 'look. Maybe more a middle aged hippie Dennis the Menace look better described it, basically hair all over the place.

When i got home, i went and had a good scalping and the fellah did a job. I quite like it, but its probably the shortest cut i've had. I go into the toilet for a pee and still jump when i suddenly catch a glimpse of that mean, but exceedingly handsome shorn character looking back at me in the bathroom mirror. Its been a week and i still keep pushing my fingers through my greasy locks and theres nothing there. I haven't shaved for three days and i look a little like one of those facesyou can turn upside down and get another face...Oh thats enough follicle follies for now, kiddies. Dont forget to wash n' condition and brush 100 times morning and night.