HAPPY NEW DECADE,I'M GETTING OVER THE FESTIVE DEBAUCHERY,I'M LOSING THE WEIGHT ..DOWN TO 36 STONE AND FALLING!

After the disgusting over indulgencies of the festive debaucheries, it is now next year ,no, hold ,it is now the next decade. So happy new year and great new decade. I've got to get my booze- ridden; chocolate stuffed; food scoffed; telly watching unmoving sprawled (for weeks now) form into some kind of workable condition. Now i'm not talking going to the gymn to hone my body in the furnace of my will; to run marathons and equally silly things like that. Just to stand up under my own power and be able to walk the 15 feet or so to the downstairs bog'd do. I'm on a strict regime of diet and excercise......I'm changing channels twice as often on the remote control, using both thumbs and i'm down to 3 boxes of Quality street a day. And it seems to be working, the weight is falling off me. 36 stone and counting.

The family ,gawd bless us one n all have been coughing n spluttering for the last few weeks. I ,due to my regime of excercise and good healthy living have been spared ,plague ,flying pig flu and all the other festive lurgies that have beset our fine land and bunged up our health system as solid as a schoolboys snotty nose. But joking aside the LOVELY LYNNE has come down with a belter of a dose of PLEURISEY. I had 'a dose', years ago and can vouch for how much fun it is to have your inflamed lung linings ,(pleural cavities to those like me who've got biology qualifications)...rubbing against your rib cage. This results in a wonderful combination of feeling like shit and being in agony. Oh how i remember the joys of having a coughing fit whilst your lungs scrape against your ribs, as my beloved is discovering for herself even as i type.

To add to her joyous introduction to the new decade, we had booked train tickets and hotel rooms to go to London to see THE WHO in concert and go to a cartoonist do the following night. So thats up the spout....So thats how our new decade is kicking off, only 9 years 11 m0nths and a lump of days 'till the next one ,lets see how that one compares.

ONLY A FEW DAYS INTO THE NEW DECADE AND I'M SITTING SURROUNDED BY THE BROKEN REMAINS OF MY NEW YEAR/DECADE RESOLUTIONS.....

Yep!...I'm back, its only been a decade since last we spoke, so you probably haven't even noticed my absence as you recover from the festive session of sinful debauchery and overindulgence I'm proud of you, my children. So, as all you fellahs have got to squeeze all the new socks n' undies in to the bulging drawers full of socks n' undies from last year. And you ladies steal some more of that precious cupboard space for all them nice trendy cloths you got. Women never get knickers n' tights, no, they get nice things like cloths n' jewellery. Ah, such is the mans lot, be it the festive season or not ,to suffer to keep our ladies happy.
Christmas is a lazy slobby time of year ,sitting stuffing your face with food drink and sweeties. I doubt many of you have even set foot outside into the frost, snow and cold in over a fortnight.With about 4 stone in weight added to your fine physiques ,its not just the cloths getting tighter, but there doesn't seem to be as much room on the setee either. A strange thing happens, you get a little restless watching the telly and being warm and cosy all the time. Your watching festive films busting with endlessly repeated adventure and excitment; joy and happiness beamed through the flattened cathode ray tube. And tear-jerking things like Noel Edmonds christmas present All these things build you up ,ready for that annual total waste of time ,The NEW YEAR RESOLUTION!!!!!... The films, etc make you decide."Right ,this year, i'm going to make this year as full and exciting and as enjoyable as i can!".......And Noel Edmunds will have you in tears, swearing blind that you are going to help charity , the poor and needy and you are there to help your fellow man. This one ,thankfully, lasts only a very short period, possibly 10 minutes or so.....Wipe the tear away, put the kettle on and watch HOLIDAY ON THE BUSES, or something. That'll bring you back to Earth. The resolution to have a 'whizz-bang exciting year', may take a little longer. This includes taking care of yourself; Going to the gymn;Packing in the fags; Laying off the pop, etc.....But, you swear to all the gods you follow 2010 will not be spent and wasted, sitting around and allowed to grind by, like most others.........
Its the first monday of the new year/decade and i'm sitting watching the telly with a mug of tea, haven't gone to the gymn, took the dog out,done any reading( Spiderman on the bog doesn't count ,i don't suppose?)......Not a lot of effort gone into the first few days, but theres plenty of time....Isn't there?