THE GRE(=mc2)AT RACE ?.....OR BACK TO THE BACK OF THE BEERMAT, ALBERT?

Everybody knows and loves ALBERT EINSTEIN, even people who cant count the thumbs on one hand for some reason know his SPECIAL THEORY OF RELATIVETY equation the infamous E=MC2, even if they havent got a clue as to what the hell it means and to be fair they wouldnt be the only ones. But basically it sums up the laws of the universe ,space, time ,and a few other odds n' sods that keep the cogs in the machine turning and squeaking. He's everybodies idea of 'The mad scientist ', Amass of unkempt white hair ,glasses on the end of his boozers nose and an old fashioned bent pipe pumping out clouds of smoke. He sat there and just thought and imagined what it would be like to travel on a beam of light . His imagination took him across space and time and opened these theories to him it was only later when he had to get the numbers to agree.

His basic law ,NOTHING CAN TRAVEL FASTER THAN LIGHT IN A VACUMN. This is the lynchpin on which every scientific theory and idea is based. And quite simply cannot be broken, up until last week that is.

In the DEAD BIG HADRON COLLIDER, or whatever size they call it they produced cute little subatomic particles called NEUTRINO'S which can travel through anything ,so they shot them through the earth from Switzerland to Italy and they arrived a billion zillionth of a megasecond ahead of time ,beating the speed of light.

Quel horrers!!!!!! ..As foreign scientists probably say ,in one billionth, zillionth of a megasecond the universe has been turned arse over tit . It even opens the way for time travel. Some wit cracked a funny ....

...........The barman said"we dont sell beer to neutrino's!" A Neutrino walks into this bar and asks for a beer....(geddit?)..... If they can beat time in the drag race, The law of Causality is broken , which means quite simply 'The cause happens before the effect!' Unless light can regain its title. If not you could read this before i've written it. So if you dont like it let me know , save me wasting my time.

There is questions about the accuracy of the timing and distances involved to measure these billion ,zillionths of megaseconds. If they want to get it spot on, get JEREMY CLARKSON, CAPTAIN SLOW and THE HAMSTER, from TOP GEAR with their trusty stop watch to measure the speed and time round the top gear track. In fact THE STIG can road test the LIGHT PHOTON and THE NEUTRINO, that should solve the problems.

THE LITTLE HARD-ON COLLIDER HELPING TO DISCOVER THE BASIC BUILDING BLOCKHEADS OF THE POLITICAL UNIVERSE!

When the LARGE HADRON COLLIDER whacked a couple of sub-atomic particles together at 9.999999999999999%recurring, the speed of light, these protons ,using the equation describing the relationship between mass and energy....E=MC2. The resultant energy release was meant to show conditions billionths of a second after the BIG BANG, the event wot caused us all to be here. Along with all the other stars, galaxies , planets, and the French. Who knows the sub-atomic particles could've been split into even more basic sub-sub-Atomic particles, which could've caused the creation of even more sub-sub-sub-Atomic particles, the basic building blocks of the universe and the whole of creation itself. Mind-boggling and as fantastic as it may seem ,there is an even greater mystery that needs to be solved.

This mystery,the creation of the political universe and the bacic building blockheads that it was formed from will be solved by the SMALL HARD-ON COLLIDER. This device will fire the most basic SUB-HUMAN particles, the political party leaders at each other at the mind numbing speed, much faster than the speed of light. The SPEED OF POLITICAL BLAME. Using the political equation E=MP2, showing the relationship between expenses and MP's pay, hopefully there should be some fascinating results. The sub-human particles could shatter into even more basic sub-sub human particles than MP's and party leaders ,hard as it is to believe. The political energy released could produce miniature black holes, commonly known as policies. These may form WORMHOLES to other dimensions .The political particles may worm, or crawl through the aptly named inter dimensional gateways. Eventually the political particle may explode into the nothingness of another empty dimension. It wouldnt be a Big Bang ,as any politician wherever he is, even a new dimension, would be canvassing for votes for the GENERAL ELECTION. So, possibly a universe could be formed from a BIG YAWN. The hot air and wasted energy radiated into the void by any bullshitting politician worth his salt would be more than enough to start the formation of stars, planets, galaxies ,a whole new universe with the same old politics.