PIGS MIGHT FLY, BUT THE SWINE FLU !

Catch it !

Bin it !

Kill it !

.......There you go .The swine flu pandemic ,sorted. The Flu-fighters spent millions on getting the brains behind ;'Go to work on an egg"; "Snap, crackle n' pop"!; "Put a tiger in your tank"; "The Milky Bar kid", etc, etc....To get to work on fighting the flu-pandemic. Not with drugs ,or medical facilities n' stuff, no something a lot more powerful and effective a 'SNAPPY SLOGAN' ...I sneezed last night, the Lovely Lynne asked me if i had swine flu, but it wasn't flu, but i am a swine. And i didn't sneeze with a spanish/mexican accent ("El -koff-o !....El- sneeze-o !"), so the pandemic hasn't hit our house yet. Mind you, it is funny that for years mexican food has been killing peoples guts, now a few runs from the upper levels of the body, the nose as opposed to the 'other end' and the world flies into a panic.

The Lovely Lynne had to go to a meeting about the pandemic, i suggested, "just for research purposes", you understand, she wears a sombrero, a poncho , swigging a bottle of Tequila . Then in the middle of Manchester sneezes. Just to see the reaction.

SERGEANT PEPPERS LONEL HEARTS CLUB BAND, AND BENNIE AND THE JETS ARE ALL SKINT.

We live in seriously terrible frightening times. The world survived bird flu, now we're on the virge of a killer dose of pig flu or swine flu which is going to wipe us all out. So that has helped take our mind of the credit crunches; Financial meltdowns ; Broken banking systems . A financial system hit by a disease caused by a similar cause ,Swines, fat pigs, etc, or bankers and politicians, as they are better known. But it has all finally really taken hold. The normal working people ,thats us ,at the bottom of the pile, we dont warrant much sympathy from those who 'run or ruin the show.' But now the news has reached me that the suffering has spread furthur afeild to those who really need their massive amounts of money. Paul McCartney and Elton John are now not as high up in the worlds richest people top 10, as they once were. This is truly a sad state of affairs when these heroes and icons must be forced to take their destinies in their own hands. Sergeant Pepper's lonely hearts club band and Bennie and the jets have joined together to work their way out of this depression. I believe they're playing round the side of the Tesco garage, by the Spar shop on the main pedestrianised precinct in Widnes. The reformed Genesis are playing after the Bingo on the nights when the line dancing club aren't using the church hall in Haverford West. The Who were playing in the tunnel between platform 1-3 and platform 4-5 at Warrington Bank Quay station. But they got thrown out when Townshend broke a guitar and the neck hit an old lady getting her pensioners railcard checked at the ticket desk.
U2 were asked to leave the Asda carpark in Slough, as they were in the way of the trolley collectors. And i've heard that the Indigo2 concerts for Michael Jacksons' come back, 'i need to pay off my debts tour' have been transfferred to Acton working mens club.