DO ALL YOU OLD SCHOOLBOYS REMEMBER CONVERSATIONS THAT WENT LIKE THIS:"GOT!GOT!GOT!..NOT GOT!..GOT!..NOT GOT!"..Ad infinitum!

All schoolboys of a time long gone who are now middle aged ol' farts remember when they all collected 'CARDS!'....A collection of various heroes ,TARZAN,BATMAN,etc and various telly series ,'THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.'. etc Even tea had cards, in the packet 'P.G.TIPS used to regulary do it. In fact i still have 'THE RACE INTO SPACE' collection and album, as well as the 'SUN' newspaper's 3D football slbum with a wonderful RIGBY cartoon in it which i still have the remains of.

Every playground used to have groups of schoolboys huddled together as one of them with the cards flicking through them like an old western card shark, like Doc Halliday playing poker in Dodge City. The other lads peering 'goggle-eyed' at the collection whizzing past their eyes, but the main thing was the mode of communication was the thing that everybody remembers. This was brought back to me by way of   an advert for something on the radio and some kid was doing this ,which brought these wonderful memories tumbling back and had me laughing like an idiot on and off throughout the day!

Remember the cards came out and the lightening shuffle started ,but you kept up with ease telling which you had and didn't have ,so you could 'DO SWOPSIES!'....It was simply......"got! got! got!got!..not got!...not got! got!got!got!got!got!   not got! got!got!got!  not got!..not got!..not got!..not got!got! got!got!got!got!..not got!got!got!got!got!got!got!got!got...Not got!...got!..not got!..Not got!..not got!...not got!..got!got!got!..not got!..got!got!got!got!got!got!..not got!got!got!...not got!  got!..not got!..got!got!got!got!...not got!..not got!..not got!  got!got!got!got!not got!  got! got! got!got!got!  not got!got!.......And on it goes,or went, the excitment of this business transaction was palpable, Scabby sweaty, snotty schoolboys were bad enough, but scabby,sweaty,snotty,highly excited school boys were even worse...Ah happy days weren't we sad n' simple with our cards n' comics!

ME WWW.TARZAN.OT.APES.COM....YOU..WWW.JANE.OT.SEXYBIKINI.COM...

In reply to a comment from the lovely Cathy Simpson about me being her lord of the jungle, the lovely lady doesnt realise how close she is to the truth. When i lived in India i spent a little time exploring jungles and forests. I gave a few good RON ELY ,TARZAN calls ,which in the telly series would've had the jungle stampeding. But some bird just fluttered away from me. It's not that easy being king of the jungle. And you never meet those cute little chimps like Tarzans friend CHEETAH. The apes were nasty dirty flea-infested shit covered pains ,best kept well away from. When we lived in Malaysia the compound we lived on was the stomping ground of an aged bad tempered baboon type ape and there was nothing nice about him. He went for a few people , including me .I belted him with a plastic chair and henceforth we just sneered at each other. A friend of ours was sitting on a settee in the living room, reading a paper when his missus came out of the bathroom. He thought she'd been sitting beside him, when she advised him to carefully look to the side, he carefully looked up to see this bloody baboon sitting on the settee picking at his snack, he, then not so carefully shifted very sharpish. The compound security people went to "stun him, sir!".....They certainly did that, stunning us as well, by blowing his bloody head off. So i wasn't a king of the apes either

One thing about being an EXPAT, is that wherever you go people are always giving you business cards, telling you to get in touch. Expats seem a lot more relaxed and funnily enough quite often mean it about getting in touch. I know Tarzan has a holder for his knife, but where does he keep his business cards? I mean you can't be king of the jungle and the apes and not have some cards printed, its bad bizniz!!!!