PLAY IN A BRASS BAND AND YOU WONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE HOSEPIPE BAN...

As the country starts to boil under 5 straight days of searing intermittent sunshine.....Well, its time to look foreward to the hosepipe ban. Part of the reason for the hosepipe ban is, when the goverment announce that there's going to be a hosepipe ban if the reservoir levels fall and the north west of England doesnt have 8 straight weeks of monsoon rainfall in the next three hours or so. The kneejerk reaction to this shocking news is that every single person with a blade of grass or a plant or a flower in their back garden is suddenly dragging yards of rubber tubing connected to the stand pipe alongside the house. But when people jam these pipes onto the tap, only a fraction makes it to the buisness end of the pipe. Water is spurting and dribbling from where the pipe is roughly jammed to the tap. And then, the water spurts n' dribbles from the cracks and splits in the pipe itself. This is the gardening version of the water board or public utilities who let us have some very precious exspensive water through our taps, but obviously the cheap crappy water is allowed to flood streets and roads in the middle of towns and cities through burst mains, etc. Apparently the hosepipe ban doesnt apply to the millions of gallons of wasted water, funny that.

The reservoirs in the lake district are way down apparently. It is a little ironic as the towns all around are still being rebuilt after being totally flooded, bridges swept away, the works.... Now theres no water. Around the north of England theres lots of brass bands. Having 'The Lovely Lynne' and her family coming from a brass music background, i've a little experiance of brass instruments and i'm fascinated by the spit valve. The amount of fluid coming out of an average tuba being played constantly whilst walking/marching around the garden would water the grass and flowers. Even the smaller stuff like trumpets and cornets ,because they take heavy puffing and blowing to get a tune would keep a lawn green. The Lovely Lynne plays the trombone and with the varying length of the 'moving bit', she can sit on top of the shed and water the garden near and far depending upon what note she's playing. If the bands stood around a near empty reservoir they could damn near fill it after a performance.....Just remember to boil what comes out of your tap, if and when the goverment see the potential of the brass band for our water supplies.

AND A SIGN THAT EVEN MORE WATER ONCE EXISTED ON THE MOON !

Once not long ago the solar system was totally airless and waterless. Now we've discovered atmospheres ,however thin on various moons and planets, but more amazing we've found water on , well every where we've looked. The moon , originally totally void of everything has been found to have water. No atmosphere ,virtually absolute zero temperatures and theres water. Mars also full of the stuff. The moon Europa under a thin layer of ice ,is supposed to be a salty sea with volcanic vaults heating the water and very similar conditions to volcanic reigions way down at the depths of our oceans, where ,supposedly nothing can exist, but has recently been found to be teeming with various life forms, so Europa becomes the main favourite in the solar system for life. In fact ,Arthur C Clarkes book of 2001, is about aliens giving man the means to explore and colonise the solar system, but to leave Europa alone. Europa's surface is not joined to the planetary core ,seperated by the water layer the moons surface rotates at a different rate to its core, betcha' didn't know that did ya? It seems theres so much water knocking about there should be a hugh rainbow stretching across the solar system.

Its only recently that they've found all this water with various probes dropping or crashing into the lunar or martian surfaces. Thats why BALLCOCK O'BARNPOT,the afro irish president of the US ofA ,got his nobel peace prize ,cos he didnt fire any missiles on Earth, but blasted 2 into the Moons south pole, so if the face of the 'man in the moon' is looking shocked and slightly cross eyed, well, so would you with 2 rockets exploded up your 'jacksy'!..And if they did they'd find a lot more than water, methinks.

I still think its all fantastic. the other day i was looking at pictures of the VIKING lander all those years ago of the martian surface, and they still take my breath away. I wanted the LOVELY LYNNE to paper the walls with these martian horizons, but typical woman, she refused. I suppose it would look a little odd with the martian horizon with a central heater and couches and telly. I s'pose the picture if the VIKING had landed in some martian living room.