Showing posts with label coronation street. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coronation street. Show all posts

Friday, 16 July 2010

IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED, THERES MORE STREET ENTERTAINERS IN LIVERPOOL THAN SHOPPERS!!!...

The other week i stepped off the chuffa train at Liverpool Lime Street and stepped out into the sunshine of our fair city. The roads were full of cars,taxi's, busses and trucks chugging n' honking; Then there was those brave bold and by neccessity slightly insane pedestrians trying to get past the traffic to delve into the shopping area in and around St Johns precinct opposite. All together people and engines make an impressive noise. But the air was filled with not so much a 'white noise', more of a 'white boom'....Puzzled as i was i made my way into the centre and realised what it was.

In the old days of my youth, there was the odd acoustic guitarist occassionally with a full quota of strings; Some old tramp with a tin whistle, or occassionally the odd accordian. But now!...There was whole bands; Carribean steel bands with about twenty drums ,and to make it worse ,the public were allowed to have a go; There were guys who'd set up electric keyboards and synthesisers; Electric guitarists with stacked amps ,that were once ditched by The WHO, or LED ZEPPELLIN at one time; There was a guy battering the hell out of a full drum kit in the middle of a side street; But the worst of all according to theLOVELY LYNNE was the group playing the bag-pipes; On top off all this a marching band came through town to add to the cacopheny of sound .And as well as that you've the drivers who want us all to share their 'BOOM, BOOM,BASS' horror, as they cruise by with all their windows open. The thing that struck me is how the electric musicians are flooding the streets .Where do they get their power from. No crocodile clips and car batteries for them. I just wondered if the shops that they're playing outside of have noticed an extra plug in their multi-socket plug point, and a lead going out the door ,or into the staff toilet and out the window.

As you wend your way through these purveyors of noise.You have to be very light on your feet. Theres now dancers ,even plays and traditional entertainers juggling away, etc . To escape the street chaos we would hide away, as ever in various back street boozers. We would purchase our 'refreshments' and then discover we weren't to be spared the horrors of noise. Our hopes of talking and being heard where about to be destroyed by the worst most awful form of noise there is....Karioke....The x-factor auditions all rolled into one and sung for your own personel pleasure as you choke on your drink. The LIVERPOOL BLITZ was a lot more tuneful and pleasurable to listen to, definitly not as loud....Aaah, i'm starting to sound like the miserable old fart i ,at last am, eh?

Monday, 5 October 2009

ANDREW MARR ,GUIDE TO HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PRIME MINISTERS !

It's easy!..You sit our glorious leader down on a nice comfortable chair in a well-lit labour conference side room, with a smile on your oily Beeb-beeb-ceeb trained face. You, then accuse the most powerful and useless man in the country of popping prescription drugs to ease the stress of the job. The other reason for guzzling these pain-killers is to ease the pain and discomfort of constantly banging into walls,desks and comfy BBC chairs as a result of being half(or two thirds) blind, apparently. This is due ,as everybody must know by now that our beloved PM has the most well-known detached retina the country .As a result of the most well-known Rugby injury in the history of the game. I always thought he had a glass eye, but he's had a couple of similar injuries. So maybe he's got two glass eyes, or two detached retinas, i don't mind admitting i'm confused and worried for our glorious leader.


As any good northern lad worth his salt n' tripe, i watch CORONATION ST (Corrie !)..And followed the storyline of the evil David Platt. He supplied his mum's boyfriend with much needed prescription pain-killers, he became addicted and was totally under David's malevolent influence. Could this happen to our beloved leader? Who is the evil, self serving soul that supplies the PM? Could it be one of his aides or assistants; A strange sort who goes by the name of'Mandy', say? I can see this character weilding his devilish influence over the party, surviving being sacked on numerous occassions in the past. I keep thinking of the PRIME MINISTER and his aide sketches from LITTLE BRITAIN.


Anyhow i don't believe for a moment when our glorious leader made his' big speech' the other day that he needed any drugs to help him.... But i'm bloody sure all those sat listening would've loved some pain killers !

( This bit of jibberish appeared in HA! magazine....Look over on the links for how to find HA!)