ONLY PRESIDENT FOR A FEW DAYS AND TERESA MAY FIRES A TRIDENT MISSLE AT 'OUR CUZN'S ACROSS THE POND! :...TIM LEATHERBARROW

DONALD TRUMP RAISING 'THE WIG' !

Ah well its happened! A certain MR DONALD TRUMP, A multi billion, trillion quinti- squillionaire of the parish of Manhatten New York has gone from being possibly the richest most powerful man in the U.S.A. to being .....The richest most powerful man ...In the U.S.A. Only the President, but wether the president is the most powerful man in the states is debateable, he's the face that gets to shake hands around the world, don't know if he actually does anything, rather like our prime minister, as we all know who do fuck all . Any politician would know the best place to be is 'IN OPPOSITION!', as on the other powerless side of the house ,you don't actually have to do anything just slag off everything the goverment haven't done, but are proposing to do, the trouble starts if you get voted in.

JEREMY CORBYN

It is for this reason that the LABOUR PARTY have as their leader a dedicated ,but totally useless waste of time as party leader OL RED JEZZA CORBYN....Who has lots to say, but nothing to do  and hasn't a chance of leading the party to leave the opposition benches into the goverment seats which, i would imagine makes many of the bone idle ,lazy, exspense fiddling responsibility- phobic M.P's of the opposition LABOUR seats more than happy

The goverment  have had a busy year having the BREXIT VOTE and  the majority voted to leave our 'friends?' in Europe...We live in a democracy and the basic premiss of that is we vote for 'whatever' and who ever gets the most votes wins, it was voted to leave the EU, but the losing minority aren't happy with this as , apparently all those who voted to leave are scrounging rascists from 'Up North!'.....I don't pretend to understand the 'ins n' outs' of it all, but the vote was passed and as far as my simple naive political mind is concerned 'thats it!

Over the pond the same sort of thing has happened. The vote for the presidential election  took place and DONALD, gawd bless him won. But he won in the home of democracy and 'moms apple pie' as the yanks like to think of their home , but those who were fairly beaten demonstrated and  voiced their disagreement of the election process that runs the country.....Personnally i think its not the new president thats nuts ,but the population when i watched 11-year old girl guides blasting away with automatic rifles.

"OK, TERESA. I GET YOU DONT WANT ME AS PRESIDENT, BUT ISN'T FIRING A TRIDENT MISSILE AT ME A BIT OVER THE TOP????"

Theres worried talk about the breakup of the EU and TRUMP being less than a fan of NATO, so the RUSSIANS are happy with the possible break up of those two  exclusive clubs. Will the cold war 'heat up' again?....Will the arms race start up again? The British wont be caught out , thats for sure so to show we don't take shit off anyone ,even our close allies and cousins we fired a TRIDENT MISSILE at the UNITED STATES....Trump wants America to be great, but TERESA MAY  might be  kickstarting THE BRITISH EMPIRE again ,i'm expecting my call up papers any day soon.....

FORGET DEBATING POLICIES,POLITICS SHOULD BE A GOOD SMACK IN THE GOB AND A KNEE IN THE NUTS !!

Sky news are trying their hardest to get our party leaders together to do a live pre election debate ,live, or as live as politicians can get, on the telly to battle out the policies and the rest of the bullshit they feed us every day and give us a chance to determine whose bullshit tastes better than the others bullshit. The yanks have been doing it for years and they are connesseures of chateau de bullshit. Maybe their fine palete will be cultivated by us brits. Personally i think we should forsake the round table of debate and go into the round cage of cage fighting. I'm sure Sky's beloved leader Mr Mad axe- Murdoch would be more at home screening cage fighting on his networks than policy debates, hard hitting and far reaching though they may be. The viewing figures for Brown, Cameron and Clegg ,barefooted and kicking , kneeing, elbows, headbutts and roundhouse kicks to the face body and all points south of Westminister would be astronomical and knock Strictly come dancing into a cocked top hat. And as for the X-Factor, wouldnt get a look in.
Traditionally politics is dead easy and boring, you've got the shower in power and the rest!..Whatever the shower in power say, goes, is it!...The others the opposition disagree with absolutly everything said n' proposed by the shower in power. So, they have the best and easiest job in the world. Then when and if,god forbid, they do take over they just blame all the screw ups and fuck ups on the previous shower in power ,and that the policies that screwing up the nation were initiated when the previous shower were in power, and its nothing to do with the present shower in power....Simple, really and brilliant in its stupidity.

Being an opposition ,or shadow minister is a wonderful career for all us lazy, bone idle ,unqualified arse'oles..... You don't actually do anything, even if you wanted to and you get to look good on the telly, as everyone hates the shower in power, or the goverment , as they are known to those who understand the workings of our great democratic system. So, by disagreeing with them, you can't fail to come out on top.

But the worst thing that can happen is that they vote you into power, and you might be put in that very awkward position of actually having to do something, not a lot, heavens forbid, but something , from time to time. I think,in the future you'll see a lot of MP's expenses going on gymn memberships as various debates and even prime ministers question time moves from across the table to inside the round cage fighting ring due to be installed , within the house of commons. Prime ministers question time will be peak time viewing.

ANDREW MARR ,GUIDE TO HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PRIME MINISTERS !

It's easy!..You sit our glorious leader down on a nice comfortable chair in a well-lit labour conference side room, with a smile on your oily Beeb-beeb-ceeb trained face. You, then accuse the most powerful and useless man in the country of popping prescription drugs to ease the stress of the job. The other reason for guzzling these pain-killers is to ease the pain and discomfort of constantly banging into walls,desks and comfy BBC chairs as a result of being half(or two thirds) blind, apparently. This is due ,as everybody must know by now that our beloved PM has the most well-known detached retina the country .As a result of the most well-known Rugby injury in the history of the game. I always thought he had a glass eye, but he's had a couple of similar injuries. So maybe he's got two glass eyes, or two detached retinas, i don't mind admitting i'm confused and worried for our glorious leader.

As any good northern lad worth his salt n' tripe, i watch CORONATION ST (Corrie !)..And followed the storyline of the evil David Platt. He supplied his mum's boyfriend with much needed prescription pain-killers, he became addicted and was totally under David's malevolent influence. Could this happen to our beloved leader? Who is the evil, self serving soul that supplies the PM? Could it be one of his aides or assistants; A strange sort who goes by the name of'Mandy', say? I can see this character weilding his devilish influence over the party, surviving being sacked on numerous occassions in the past. I keep thinking of the PRIME MINISTER and his aide sketches from LITTLE BRITAIN.

Anyhow i don't believe for a moment when our glorious leader made his' big speech' the other day that he needed any drugs to help him.... But i'm bloody sure all those sat listening would've loved some pain killers !

( This bit of jibberish appeared in HA! magazine....Look over on the links for how to find HA!)