WATCH ODD PEOPLE....AS THE MOST EVIL DEADLY PEOPLE IN HISTORY WERE TOTAL WEIRDO BARNPOTS !

T

kim jong un the new nutter on the block!

Throughout history the world has been run by kings ,emperors, Fakirs ,etc ,all living in the lap of luxury ,but when they got bored called up the starving subjects to march across countries to invade somebody and have a good war.

ALthough they were probably nuts ,many were actual warriors and would show their regal gob on the battlefield which ,in those long gone times actually inspired their men to fight....Can you imagine any of our leaders on the battlefield filling us with inspiration nowadays.

last century we had The Duke of Wellington fighting a clever little odd bod called Napolean ,known in legend as a dwarf with his hand inside his jacket all the time, but he ,apparently was perfectly normal sized and normal and very clever ,The Frogs (now with them farting about over Brexit ,400 men to go from Vauxhall and owning companies over her, we don't have to be nice to them ! anymore)....Well they worshipped their emperor. And probably with good reason , but then we had Waterloo....That shut les gobs!

The first world war didn't really have a central character, not until a greasy haired comb over with a snotty little moustache named ADOLPH HITLER decided to take over the world. His far right beliefs got rid of all kinds of races ,religions in the quest for land for the Germans and purity of race. Short arsed little runt who fancied himself as an artist ,but couldn't make it ,so years of war and destruction and  planned extermination of millions of men women and children just cos he got upset !

Mussollini was the dictator in charge in Italy ,a really odd baldy bulging eyed weirdo ,very animated and when he spoke you could probably hear it in England. He was jealous of Hitler and wanted the Italian military to show what they could do ,which to be honest wasn't much, aside from being beaten and surrendering in mind boggling numbers. Apparently very fond of the ladies, to show how stupid he was ,he built a series around a lake ,in fact they appear in the opening of the James Bond film, 'Quantum of Solace' in a car chase. Musso' ,as he was named in a cartoon strip named the longer tunnels after his favourite women and the shorter after the not so highly thought of ...If thats not living on the edge ,tell me what is .

Around the same time we made friends with one evil bastard JOSEPH STALIN...In charge of Russia ,he was a bear of a man who ruled with an iron paw. He and Hitler made a pact and would split what they could strip from countries they intended to over run ,but Hitler being a bad person betrayed him and invaded Russia and us Brits sent Russia as much aid as we could , the countries gradually starving but we sent supplies and lives on the Artic convoys to supply Stalin.

He shot himself in the foot as being totally ruthless and paranoid he shot a mass of his best generals , so when the Germans were at the gates of Moscow and fighting for Stalingrad it was the Russian winter that beat the Germans . Stalin ordered that anyone comes back from the front or escapes the Germans to be shot for cowardice....Alround sweet'eart he was !

But in more recent times our nutjobs are in the middle east and muslim lands . .SADDAM HUSSEIN was in charge in his lovely palaces with the goverment and military run by his mind boglingly rich family. In charge of Iraq . He fancied himself as a noble military leaderalways in military ftigues ,probably designer fitted and a beret. He was a hard leader and people were tortured and a harsh regime was ruled by his iron fist . When the good ol yanks and uk under our noble leader TONY BLAIR in vaded and got rid of poor old sad Saddam. His country decended into anarchy and chaos which it's never recovered , It seems the Muslim people are only content with an absolute bastard in charge ,as he ,like the military ,sunglass clad ,medal collecting leader in LIBYA , COLONEL GADDAFFI. He was an equal totally nuts bastard ruling with an iron fist , but he was  home for terrorists ,the Lockerbie bombing ; The SAS seige of the London Libyan embassy, etc . When he went the militant muslim chaos ensued

Iran was quite a trendy fashionable place when the SHAH ran the place ,but the extreme muslim faction under the evil eyed AYATOLLAH  moved in and strict muslim law was enforced, as well as a ruck of nuclear missiles so its believed .

And our latest totally bonkers leader of men is that hilarious KIM JONG UN in charge of NORTH KOREA who are happy to starve their people to pay for their military expansion and the nuclear missiles which are going to hit America ,"imminentally"!

Next weirdo ,with a funny hair cut, moustache, etc, just watch what you say , he could be running the worlds nuclear arsenal or concenteration camps before you know it !

ONLY PRESIDENT FOR A FEW DAYS AND TERESA MAY FIRES A TRIDENT MISSLE AT 'OUR CUZN'S ACROSS THE POND! :...TIM LEATHERBARROW

DONALD TRUMP RAISING 'THE WIG' !

Ah well its happened! A certain MR DONALD TRUMP, A multi billion, trillion quinti- squillionaire of the parish of Manhatten New York has gone from being possibly the richest most powerful man in the U.S.A. to being .....The richest most powerful man ...In the U.S.A. Only the President, but wether the president is the most powerful man in the states is debateable, he's the face that gets to shake hands around the world, don't know if he actually does anything, rather like our prime minister, as we all know who do fuck all . Any politician would know the best place to be is 'IN OPPOSITION!', as on the other powerless side of the house ,you don't actually have to do anything just slag off everything the goverment haven't done, but are proposing to do, the trouble starts if you get voted in.

JEREMY CORBYN

It is for this reason that the LABOUR PARTY have as their leader a dedicated ,but totally useless waste of time as party leader OL RED JEZZA CORBYN....Who has lots to say, but nothing to do  and hasn't a chance of leading the party to leave the opposition benches into the goverment seats which, i would imagine makes many of the bone idle ,lazy, exspense fiddling responsibility- phobic M.P's of the opposition LABOUR seats more than happy

The goverment  have had a busy year having the BREXIT VOTE and  the majority voted to leave our 'friends?' in Europe...We live in a democracy and the basic premiss of that is we vote for 'whatever' and who ever gets the most votes wins, it was voted to leave the EU, but the losing minority aren't happy with this as , apparently all those who voted to leave are scrounging rascists from 'Up North!'.....I don't pretend to understand the 'ins n' outs' of it all, but the vote was passed and as far as my simple naive political mind is concerned 'thats it!

Over the pond the same sort of thing has happened. The vote for the presidential election  took place and DONALD, gawd bless him won. But he won in the home of democracy and 'moms apple pie' as the yanks like to think of their home , but those who were fairly beaten demonstrated and  voiced their disagreement of the election process that runs the country.....Personnally i think its not the new president thats nuts ,but the population when i watched 11-year old girl guides blasting away with automatic rifles.

"OK, TERESA. I GET YOU DONT WANT ME AS PRESIDENT, BUT ISN'T FIRING A TRIDENT MISSILE AT ME A BIT OVER THE TOP????"

Theres worried talk about the breakup of the EU and TRUMP being less than a fan of NATO, so the RUSSIANS are happy with the possible break up of those two  exclusive clubs. Will the cold war 'heat up' again?....Will the arms race start up again? The British wont be caught out , thats for sure so to show we don't take shit off anyone ,even our close allies and cousins we fired a TRIDENT MISSILE at the UNITED STATES....Trump wants America to be great, but TERESA MAY  might be  kickstarting THE BRITISH EMPIRE again ,i'm expecting my call up papers any day soon.....

WOMEN SHOULD WEIGH THEMSELVES WHEN A GIANT ASTEROID IS FLYING PAST THE EARTH !

As every man on gods planet knows the lady in his life is always getting fat,putting on weight and weighing too much and has to lose a bit of excess baggage. There's no point argueing although you are expected to, if you disagree your talking absolute rubbish and don't have a clue what your talking about. God forbid if you agree your in dead trouble, my son!... So you can't win. The carpets around the house depending where they are show a little bit of wear and tear as they are constantly getting stood on. There is another really badly battered 12 inch by 12 inch patch that suffers from constant standing upon and that is the top of the bathroom scales in the bathroom. This is  where the love of your life peers intently studying the number of pounds or grams on the scales dial like a scientific experiment check of results to determine the difference from the last time they stood on the device only to normally have their heart broken and ego destroyed.

The Earth is a massive lump of rock and as Mr EINSTEIN told us massive objects have a suction pulling us in called GRAVITY. The planet is relatively circular and a womans weight would be roughly the same anywhere on the planet. But imagine if there was fluctuations in the GRAVITATIONAL FIELD ....If there was a country where the field was weaker and women weighed a lot less that place would be the most popular place for women to visit .....Due to this reason, the influx of weight concious women flooding this 'place '..There tourist trade would go through the roof, with the ladies and a few less weight concious blokes might find their way there for their own odious schemes and reasons involing the ladies. The other booming industry for this part of the world would be for BATHROOM SCALES...The ladies wouldn't be able to spend enough time on them.

On the odd ocassion a giant spinning lump of rock called an asteroid comes barrelling through the vacumn of space and skims by our beloved home planet. The asteroids are nowhere the size of the Earth , but a fair size and the odd collision through history has caused a mighty 'thwack' on the planet. One when the Earth was forming Hit the Earth and knocked a chunk out which formed our moon. Another destroyed most of the life on the planet ,mainly the dinosaurs. In the early 19th century an exploding asteroid flattened 500 square miles of trees in a huge forest in a region called TANGUSKA in Russia. Thankfully the destruction caused by this space debris seems to be falling ferocity and devastation ,in fact the effect of the next could benothing more than a slight effect on bathroom scales around the world!

As the asteroids pass as one did only the other day, it must interfere with the Earths Gravitational field, weakening it slightly....So if in the bathroom the drops from the taps seem to drip slower or the edge of the bog paper doesnt hang down vertically or is horizontally level or even drifting verticlly up these are signs of fluctuations in the gravitational field. So as the asteroid flies over your housing estate get on the bathroom scales and hopefully this force from space will have the weighing pointer dropping to the safe welcoming left side of the dial so a few pounds are lost due to these cosmic forces from millions of light years away, so for a while your excess weight is 'LOST IN SPACE!'.

You dont have to hold your tummy in waiting for another asteroid to come tumbling from the KYPER BELT on the outer fringes of the solar system intowards us in the cosy sun-kissed centre, we have our beloved moon which as it also pulls on the Earth it pulls the oceans up towards it ,thats what causes the tides....If the Moon can pull the Pacific Ocean up towards itself it can pull a few pounds off your bathroom scales.