IT DOESNT MATTER WHERE YOU ARE YOU ARE ALWAYS NO MORE THAN 10 YARDS AWAY FROM A LIVE POLITICIAN!

Normally when you see all those reporters outside the door of Number 10 Downing street, the home and centre of democracy and all thats good in the world. You see the reporter with their collars up ,looking like their freezing to death even in summer The poor ol' Policeman bouncing from foot to foot and slapping their gloved hands together as obviously the Kevlar keeps the bullets out, but not the cold. Suprisingly occasionally you'll see somebody in a suit with a breifcase walk briskly in ,or ,for that matter out. Funnily enough, for reasons i've never been able to grasp, the main traffic is people in fleeces with studenty looking backpacks on,and boots with thick treads on, maybe they're dropping extreemly important documents off to help our leaders run the country before leaving them on a train, or in the back of a taxi. Or maybe the stairs in No10 are very steep and they need their student hillwalking gear to get to the third floor.

But then theres the other visitors ,who dont seem to be too shy ,or embarressed at being seen and ,actually seem to be increasingly joining into the celebrity infatuated world in front of the television cameras. The RATS.....Our rodent population are taking after our politicians and Katie Prices of this world and grasping at any opportunity to get in front of the cameras. So if you couldnt be arsed listening to what ever crap is being served up by or about CAMEROON n' CLEGGY..You can just pass a few minutes looking over the shoulder of the reporter and look out for the increasing number of rats scurrying past that famous door. That door that almost symbolises GREAT BRITAIN and the EMPIRE, etc, with hoards of rats scurrying around the doorstep, make of that what you will, as everyone else will. There is a difference between a rat and a politician, slight though it maybe, the rats dont carry breifcases and wear dead smart shiney double breasted suits ,but who knows ,if the media rat explosion continues they could latch on to their potential celebrity status. There are enough rats n rodents running the papers ,media and public relations , never mind the goverment. The rats instead of running it could become part of it. Although some may say ,its already happened, but i wouldnt say such a thing.

HOW MANY CARICATURES ARE THERE ON THE WALL OF THE BOG IN No10 D0WNING ST ???

As i sat with my gallon mug of tea ;Two boiled eggs and very heavily buttered toasted crumpets watching what the rest of the world was up to at this ungodly hour of the morning. I find being shoved out of my nice warm bed by my beloved lovely lady Lynne isn't something i enjoy. I've never been a morning person. Come to that, i've never been an afternoon , evening or night person either. There must be a ten minute period of the day where i'm at my peak.....But it's definitly not the morning ,or this early morning. I'm the only one not going out, but its me getting up to bring them tea n' coffee in bed, if i had the 'bottle' it'd be over the bed ! But, ironically the one thing that eases my misery and foul early morning temper is seeing how bad and miserable the rest of the world is. In maths and physics two negatives make a positive. A positive and a negative form a negative ,so i stay away from cheery programmes and cheerful man and woman double acts on the newsroom settee in the ITV and BBC newsroom until i'm ready and my depression and misery has hit ground zero and bounced back upwards to a level which could be called relatively un-miserable. It was at this point , this morning when i turned the BEEB morning news programme on and they had the wonderful MARTIN ROWSON on talking about being told off for making our beloved leader, Gordon Brown look fat. Martin came out with the best description of our glorious leader when he described his jaw movements as, "Like swallowing a sheep". Nice one Mr Rowson, sir.


It has alway amused me when i watch the politicians, esspecially, look a caricatures of themselves. I don't think i've ever seen one that hasn't grinned broadly with an open mouthed laugh to follow, to show how they can take and appreciate the joke. But this animated appreciation is accompanied by a steely cold glint in their scheming dead fish politicians eyes. Through the years i've caricatured politicians and celebrities, the celebrities are a many and varied lot, but the politicians are a more homogenous lot. They'll tell me how great it is and how i've made them look a little overweight; Use my first name and for a moment or two i think i'm going to be invited to dinner and be friends for life. But that passes, very quickly, and eyecontact which was so intense for a second or two is broken, never to be re-established again.


Even today i meet people who have caricatures i did of them years ago. And, it is true that many of them actually do hang them up on the toilet wall. Now i don't know why, maybe it's a form of artistic criticism, its the place to put it if it's shit. Or, its the opposite , as people spend a lot of time in the 'bog' ,they can sit and shit and admire your mastery of the inky line and almost mystical understanding of the structure and composition of the human face and through this talent and knowledge reveal the true spirit and character that a big head,massive nose ,sticky out ears and smaller, but bloated body can reveal. If the toilet in number 10 has them on the wall. The smallest room would have to be, by far the biggest room. The caricatures would have to be computerised on a wall screen, and while the leader of men is sitting about his buisness the caricature would be of a thumbnail gallery , as on computer websites. Now theres a horrifying thought. Will there ever be a time when people will stop reading books ,papers ,comics and magazines on the 'bog' and sit there with their laptop...Who says technology is a wonerful thing?