REMEMBER WHEN NORMAL PEOPLE WERE CLOWNS, JESTERS AND LAUGHED?

 As we all sitt huddled in our small empty rooms avoiding everybody so we wont get a virus pandemic named after a soft fizzy drink, in what is called in this day of 'buzz words ' and phrases ..SELF ISOLATION...It seems strange to be typing a blurb about ,clowns and jesters and people who make a fool of themselves for a living ,but actually its probably not such an odd subject in these days of ,maybe not black death and plague ,but a light fizzy lurgy.

Clowns ,jesters ,jokers have taken many forms through the years ,using their natural gifts to make themselves look silly for the amusement and entertainment of others. Physical comedy , written and drawn comedy ,like what i attempt to do and spoken comedy . As comedy evolved ,starting from bells and sticks annoying the king in his court right up until these days where theyve evolved into clowns and very unfunny jesters called politicians and they arent funny, but frightening as these clowns and buffoons have our life and our survival balanced on their ridiculous views and opinions, at this moment as a worldwide pandemic is at our facemasks they tell us to stay away from everywhere and everybody and not to worry, if it wasnt so unfunny ,it would be hilarious.

Once people were funny and entertained with funny songs and bright colours and called jesters ,annoying people with bells and generally annoying stuff...Physical humour humour has always been beloved ,flips and pratfalls ,even up to our fairly recent times with comedians with funny songs and physical stuff which saw them through their career in variety halls throughout the land. Then some moved into films years later ,all the silent stars and later characters like Jerry Lewis and our own Norman Wisdom. I saw him getting slung all over the stage of the Liverpool Empire years ago ,an aging fellah landing in a full side ways splits from about 10 feet up. I remember biting my lip and wiping tears of laughter from my eyes ,i was amazed. I had trained in Karate for years ,stretching and straining to do the splits ...unsuccessfully!....All i got was clicking hips and knees.

Looking incredibly daft5 and stupid has always been a good way of getting a laugh. Combined with bright ghastly colours and ill fitting shoes and cloths , false red noses?...What the red nose secret is ,i'm not too sure ,outside its connection to way too much to drink, which i do understand !....Also things like big shoes ,huge braces and baggy loud check suits ,which probably scare as many people as crease them up laughing

In our enlightened times ,sadly silly humour where once that word was a compliment is now sneered upon by our liberally sensitive pains in the arse that be, anything that passes the 'not offensive to any sex ,race ,colour ,gender ,breed of dog etc, etc, ism, ist, etc, etc #themtoo,etc,etc is ok and the rule of thumb is the 'Beeb'or Channel 4 will show the days clowns ,jesters , i think i prefer the guy with the bells and the stick.

Lest we forget the shining light of clowns and jesters ,the cartoonist!...Life was portrayed and much laughter ensued from a simple gag, strip or editorial cartoon....The power ,in megaton-gags was amazing ,humour in whatever form has it ,but the cartoons have gone and humour has been shackled ,but hope is out there....I was never a fan ,but i saw RICKY GERVAIS wipe the floor with Hollywood ,big corporations and preaching gobshite actors and actoresses.....One man with well observed well written material shut up millions of woke peddaling  smug tweets and rants ofn social media (gawd bless it!)...As this is what has destroyed humour and entertainment and removed our clowns ,jesters and chance to enjoy and laugh.

TRUTH; THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH LIES CHEATING N' DECEIT !....IT'S TRUTH THATS THE ABSOLUTE BASTARD!

People of the utmost moral standing ,like priests n' politicians are always preaching in the religious anp political pious way how the most important thing in life is 'THE TRUTH!'....

Coming from priests is part of the job description.....But the truth in a politicians hands , it becomes an effective tool which can be used and twisted to fit the occassion for which the honest truth is needed. Both these sets of fine upstanding pillocks of the community are able and more than ready to preach on the importance of the truth and honesty to everybody ,but themselves. A dishonest politician , never ,true as the day is green ! And the catholic church and all the other holy mafias have lots of terrible secrets under their cassocks, togas and turbans.....The simple truth is it's a load of bollocks ,truly!

Wherever you go in your daily life you are surrounded by people trying to sell you things , preach to you ,get you to vote for their parties ,all these sources of the truth are from people , companies trying to entice you with what you , or they think you want to hear ,or see to entice you into doing what the truth will drive you to.

The world and life is filled with lies and deciet from every where and we all know it and really don't mind. We know about the church ,the greasy politicians ,salesmen and advertising ,the whole world is lies disguised as the truth  and we really don't mind .

You might be faced with obvious lies about something closer to home, a relationship or something ,for instance and can be upsetting, but when the truth comes out . ...? The 'TRUTH' really is the heavy artilliary and if you think about it , unless you've already been lied to and gone through suffering and pain over something and being a victim of lies and deceit , occassionally somebody'll come and tell you 'the truth' and , hopefully joy and happiness will prevail , but not often. When the Truth becomes an important factor in the equation it is going to cause ,mind numbing pain and ussually emotional disaster. If anything is going to flatten you it is the truth over something , very rarely is truth exclusively linked to joy and happiness ,when the truth is dragged to firing position and the bitter facts reveal the true story the explosive shells of explosive facts decimate your beliefs  and trust.

At the end of the day if the truth is harmless ,the subject isn't particually important ,so the truth would've been known from the beginning  Lies wont have you slashing your wrists ,popping pills and guzzling paint stripper, but the truth can, lies cover up the truth ,but the truth doesn't cover up the lies!......Basically don't tell me the truth .....Just tell me lies about  what i want to hear ! 

TIM LEATHERBARROW: DONALD TRUMP THE GORGON!!!....HAIR WITH MINDS OF ITS OWN ON A NIGHT OUT IN RUSSIA!

The whole world hates the American presidential elections as they last , so it seems longer than the term that the existing president gets to spend in the White house after winning the last 'slog'!...Boring as shit! is a good description of the whole 'circus', but for a reason i cannot fathom the Yanks love it and like a Supergroup rock tour they have political rallies filled with flag waving screaming fans????....I honestly wouldn't turn my head to look at any British politician if they walked past in town , i genuinally hate the slimey bastards.

The whole world has been thrown into chaos ,not by two people, but by one man. Hilary Clinton is an experianced politician and has flounced arounds the corridors of power for years under various presidents ,even her husband, who had a few other WhiteHouse ladies under him as Hilary was over him ,i can't imagine her taking orders from the hubbie.

No, the force of nature was a hairpiece with minds of its own like the mythical GORGON atop the head of a certain DONALD TRUMP, possibly the most powerful buisnessman on the planet. He virtually ran the country ,so thought "Gee!..Why not go the whole hog!" and actually run the whole sheebang!?

Politics n' politicians are all the same and all faith has been destroyed as each candidate and party change, but nothing else changes. If Hilary'd got in i doubt things would've changed much, but one thing about Donald is that there will be change, wether that change is good or bad is yet to be seen. The man is totally un-P.C. and offended lots of people and angered all kinds all over, the political version of the atom bomb. He's an opinionated hard nosed buisnessman and isn't afraid of confrontation. He has no speechwriters, etc, he's quite happy and visably enjoys facing the press and announcing to anyone his intentions on Twitter, i think it is amazing !

Attacking immigrants ,building walls to cut off mexico and all points south; Building up nuclear weapons?...Wether the yanks actually reduced them to levels they claim is debatable, the US are the most paranoid n' Xenophobic nation on the planet, the Chinese n' Ruskies are definitly not angels, but those military medal clad nutters who run the place are just as nuts as those in the Pentagon. Trumps a hard man and knows power and control , he'll be right at home. Politics over the next few years should be ,shall we say interesting?

A mercenary ex British M.I.6. man reckons the Russians are hacking n' blackmailing Trump and American political stuff with film of Trump haven't naughties with Russian ladies in Russian hotels, etc, but Trump came out thouroughly unflustered and denied it all pointing out he realises that he's a target for foreign intelligence and most hotels etc he stays in on foreign trips theres been cameras set up and asked "Am i stupid enough to do all this while being filmed?", he may have a point. Whereas most politicians would crumble under these 'allegations' and resign to 'Do some gardening!', It's just another day at the office for DONALD TRUMP !

THOSE WHO THINK THEY CAN ..CANT!....SHOULD, BUT DON'T!....AND IF CAPABLE SHOULDN'T....THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF A POLITICIAN!

THERE'S A  BUNCH  of people we all hate.....Full of opinions and rubbish to say for themselves on and about everyone and everything else and entitles them to do silly things like  ,join silly things like debating societies at school  and stuff like that, not particually guaranteed to enamour them to the rest of us scally nose picking, footy in the yard (42/side with a tennis ).....As the years go on these people become more convinced they 'Have something to say!'....And as time goes on they :'Have something to say' ...on an increasing number of things ,then in this evolution of opinionated pains in the arse there comes a point where they 'Have a lot to say on everything!' This is a sure sign of the onset of an interest in current affairs which sure as little exspense accounts are nice nest eggs this will lead to an interest in POLITICS!!!!!

Politics is what?....I know i don't know and most people wouldn't actually have a definition that would make it clear. But on the other hand if you inquired as to a colourful definition as to what a POLITICIAN was you would get one ,i would imagine!!!!

A politician is somebody who has a lot to say on everything they have no knowledge or experiance about. A politician promises 'the world' for votes ,knowing they haven't a chance of delivering. They might be voted in and a week later they're in an office and in charge of the ;Health Service, National Defence ,The nations transport system, with no experiance ,but plenty of party line opinions and civil service 'Sir Humphries' to guide them.

A politician thinks they can do what they can't.....If they can ,the things they should do they don't....And if they are capable ,shouldn't be allowed to. The best job for a politician is in opposition ,all you need do is disagree with the party in power, grunt and shout and that ,basically is it , even i could do it and it's on expenses!

As the goverment and the main parties are a useless waste of space ,promising the world ,etc ,but not delivering , there is a funny side effect to this and that is the nation....Thats us ! Gets thoroughly pissed off. They vote out the party in power and vote the other in. Then come the next time it's reversed again and we're back to square one until next time. This is whensome  of   the would be politicians who 'Want to change things!?' go off and form their own gangs and promise the stuff the goverment(or them!)  haven't any chance or intention of doing....They'll never run the place ,but people vote for them to give the established shitheads a kick in their policies.

Just recently a big mouthed beer guzzling cigar puffing ,ex-punk called NIGEL FARAGE  and his UKIP party have caused a bit of a ripple in local and European elections ,all very impressive ,then the politician and his big mouth and tiny brain comes out .....DAYS AFTER AN ENGLISH NUTTER OPENS FIRE ON A COLLEGE IN AMERICA....What does Nigel ,in his knowledgeable considered opinion want ,but TO LEGALISE GUNS IN THE UK!!!!!

IT DOESNT MATTER WHERE YOU ARE YOU ARE ALWAYS NO MORE THAN 10 YARDS AWAY FROM A LIVE POLITICIAN!

Normally when you see all those reporters outside the door of Number 10 Downing street, the home and centre of democracy and all thats good in the world. You see the reporter with their collars up ,looking like their freezing to death even in summer The poor ol' Policeman bouncing from foot to foot and slapping their gloved hands together as obviously the Kevlar keeps the bullets out, but not the cold. Suprisingly occasionally you'll see somebody in a suit with a breifcase walk briskly in ,or ,for that matter out. Funnily enough, for reasons i've never been able to grasp, the main traffic is people in fleeces with studenty looking backpacks on,and boots with thick treads on, maybe they're dropping extreemly important documents off to help our leaders run the country before leaving them on a train, or in the back of a taxi. Or maybe the stairs in No10 are very steep and they need their student hillwalking gear to get to the third floor.

But then theres the other visitors ,who dont seem to be too shy ,or embarressed at being seen and ,actually seem to be increasingly joining into the celebrity infatuated world in front of the television cameras. The RATS.....Our rodent population are taking after our politicians and Katie Prices of this world and grasping at any opportunity to get in front of the cameras. So if you couldnt be arsed listening to what ever crap is being served up by or about CAMEROON n' CLEGGY..You can just pass a few minutes looking over the shoulder of the reporter and look out for the increasing number of rats scurrying past that famous door. That door that almost symbolises GREAT BRITAIN and the EMPIRE, etc, with hoards of rats scurrying around the doorstep, make of that what you will, as everyone else will. There is a difference between a rat and a politician, slight though it maybe, the rats dont carry breifcases and wear dead smart shiney double breasted suits ,but who knows ,if the media rat explosion continues they could latch on to their potential celebrity status. There are enough rats n rodents running the papers ,media and public relations , never mind the goverment. The rats instead of running it could become part of it. Although some may say ,its already happened, but i wouldnt say such a thing.

I'D'VE PREFERRED A FIRING SQUAD, BUT A HUNG PARLIMENT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA!

Oh let joy be unrestrained its been announced that in a months time we'll all race breathlessly down to church halls and schoolgyms all across the land to put a tick in a box to help decide which bunch of slimey shitheads are going to screw us up for the next bunch of years.A bunch of years which, will be much the same, if not seperated at birth as the last bunch of years . The new set of earnest ,yet sincere faces to most of us will seem exactly he same as the last lot. But to the expert perceptive eye The differences will be more than apparent. As most animal experts their specialist breed of animals do attain a character and personality of their own and become familiar over a period of time and keen observation ,say of apes in the rain forests. Politicians, they are a breed of creature. Instead of fur ,scales or rough hides , they have posh suits and quaffered hair. And it will take a perceptive eye to spot the differences.And a keen understanding to discern any personality ,your better off with the apes!...

.A hung parliaments ok ,but surely we can find a more diabolical way of making them suffer. Firing squads ,flame throwers , clubs with sharp bits sticking out ,pits of venomous snakes, Locked in a room with endless opposition party political broadcasts playing on a giant screen at deafening volume ,or just anything with Tony Blair speaking sincerly.

This piccie was another used by those nice people at HA!...They have a sharp eye for talent ,as ever have a look at the link on the right of the page, at the top it says HA! you can't miss it.

OH, OH, OH WHAT A LOVELY PROFITABLE WAR!!!!

Once upon a time there was a time when 'our boys'...Who've neveractually gone to war, butmore along the lines of having been sent to war. But they'd go off to the land of the baddies and give them a good seeing to and the flag would flutter high and proud over the latest aquisition to the empire. All well and good and perfectly reasonable. 'our boys ' would be armed and ready and well supplied for any eventuallity or resurgence of 'baddies' activities that may and normally did occur in the future. Our latest military jaunt has taken 'our boys' to that desolate hell hole that was, is and will always be Afghanistan. Why we're there? who knows! How long we're there for?....Who knows!....All we know is that a group of fellahs living in the mountains who've never been defeated by various invaders throughout history, even the might of the Soviet army and they're next door neighbours. These sweethearts're blowing the hell out of our badly equipped and funded 'lads', (gawd bless the politicians) with roadside bombs n' booby traps ; rockets and a variety of 'stuff guarenteed' to upset a good nights sleep, if you knew that some psychotic nutjob was on a hill nearby overlooking your base armed to the teeth with said 'stuff'. But the politicians have decided we shall not curl up and surrender!.....No, we're British!....WE'LL PAY THEM TO RENOUNCE VIOLENCE!!!!!.....So the British taxpayer will be comforted in the knowledge, that, instead of paying for equipment for 'our boys', we'll be paying to keep their boys happy.

And this groundbreaking military genius doesnt end there, no! The 'Homeland,the battlefield that is 'good ol' Blighty, herself'. As we all know and the 'spooks' in MI5, and all the various security and police departments know there are hoards of terrorists living free and easy in the land that they want to blow to hell. Apparently their assetts are frozen and money spent must be accounted for with receipts ,much as any businessman must do. But this is, TERRORRISTISM, so no checks any more on our terrorrists they can help themselves to any money and benefits they are no doubt entitled too. There, that'll show 'em.

SACK ALL THE EXPERTS, WHAT DO THEY KNOW,ANYWAY?

Everybodies a smartarse!...Everybody thinks they know more than you do. In my case its not true as i know more about everything than most of those clever clogs. A sure sign of having great knowledge of life the universe, everything and what colour bin has to be left out on Friday, is being able to argue with your mates,all shouting in disharmony, in increasingly loud voices after a growing number of pints at any bar on a Friday or Saturday night. When you have profound and deeply held beliefs and knowledge on basically 'EVERYTHING!'...But life and knowledge are ever changing things, so the following day, you look back at the earnest loud, boisterous debate ,you and the other 15 (all with differing opinions on well, .'EVERYTHING!') intellectuals had and think.."Oh christ! Did i say that?"Theres no time you will have thought,"Oh christ! did (somebody else) really say that?"No, you have humiliated yourself in your quest to spread knowledge and enlightenment to the masses.

But i do have an excuse,basically i was 'pissed as a fart!'.....But there are a group of people who argue and debate for a living, even being(relatively)sober. These smart'ares are the politicians. They may wear nice suits and have posh titles and fiddle expenses, but their 'debates' aren't much more dignified behaviour -wise than 'down the boozer'. But they have a secret weapon. The politicians from all opposite sides have 'experts and advisors to utilise their expertise in their chosen feild to advise the politicians. Who, lets face it need it. As i've mentioned the average shit'eads who run our country dont need qualifications and haven't done a days work in their fairly short, ( and getting shorter by the look of the bright young things speaking on various policies, etc, etc.) lives. The politicians get shunted around from time to time. So one day they may be in charge of the Dept of soft toilet paper and pencil sharpeners. Then the next they're running the NHS. They work with people who've studied and devoted their lives to the world of soft toilet paper and pencil sharpeners. Then people who've devoted their lives to the science and health of the nation. But the 'new boy(ok, or girl)' is instantly the boss, and they're in charge of a little thing like the health of the nation, just like that!

The problem with experts and scientists i that they deal in facts,experimental data, opinions of teams of highly qualified intellects who know what they're talking about, basically the stuff that is squeezed out all pristine and smart from the intellectual mangle is something very alien to politicians .The truth!
The truth is a nasty thing in its purest form, no good, whatsoever in politics. This truth must be treated and diluted until it becomes totally malleable and be able to be twisted and distorted to fit into a vessel called a policy. The data involved may fill libraries and be megabytes of computer space, but it must fit onto a few glosy A4 sheets of paper alongside party logos and smiling party leaders pictures. If an expert voices an opinion .It is the policy that is sacrosanct, not the evidence or truth. So, experts and advisors ,speak when spoken to, then return to your dusty university studies until you are summoned to advise, or your sacked!
There is a way around this system. As the prime minister found, recently. An officer in Afghanistan said ,much against Goverment announcements, that troops were dying due to lack of helicopters. Well, this would've gotten him a court marshall from Gordon Brown right away. But the officer in question was killed. So Gordon can't do anything about a dead hero's advice....Wether he'll do anything, ah now?.....
Just one thing (amongt many)thing puzzles me .Every party has opposing policies on ..well,'EVERYTHING!'..And they've all got experts and advisors. So is the expert advice totally different for every expert, or is the same advice just twisted and distorted to make a smart looking policy

( An irrate Gordon Brown appeared courtesy of the front cover of HA Magazine, aaah fame ,at last!!!!)

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE,BUT THERES NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT AS ITS ONLY A WORSE CASE SCENARIO!!!

" SO YOU SEE,PRIME MINISTER, UNLIKE ALL THE OTHER TARGETS YOU'VE FAILED TO MEET...FAILING TO MEET THIS ONE WILL BOOST YOUR APPROVAL RATINGS IMMEASURABLY!!!"




Over the last couple of days ,all those serious looking newsreaders have been telling us how hundreds of thousands of people are going to be killed by the swine flu pandemic sweeping the world faster than anything ever.....But then ,with a smile ,it's pointed out that this isn't nessecerally going to happen and this is 'ONLY(!)..A WORST CASE SCENARIO????"....Oh well thats a relief then, nothin' to worry about. All those out there popping their clogs is just bad luck. But thinking about it, its an act of genius by the politicians.

All this time the bunch o' shit'eads who congeal in that building with the big clock have been showing how totally useless they are at running the country by making targets and then totally failing to come within a million miles of reaching them. Their little graphs, etc, the lines instead of reaching the top of the page dont even get far above the baseline. But what they've decided to do ,instead of trying to reach these proposed positive targets. They have announced a negative target. The 'Worst case scenario'......It scares the shit out of everybody. Then, when this point isn't reached, everybody gasps a gasp of relief and praise is heaped upon our glorious leaders for guiding us through this potential disaster.

This (WCS) can apply to anything from the economy.The whole country could crash and millions would be out on the streets, but only thousands suffered,"God, bless the goverment". Sport; The Ashes....(WCS),England get slaughtered by the Aussies...So, if we get away with a mere battering ,or a good hammering, thats alright then. In fact it becomes a victory of sorts. Being British a victory is quite often a 'not too bad beating', rather than an outright victory.

You can expect a(WCS) for the Olympic stadium. Costing squillions of tax pounds, so when it only costs billions of tax pounds, we've got a bargain. The same principal for the boys fighting in Afghanistan. When we dont lose the (WCS) number of men, the goverment can say we told you so,we're winning, and they didn't need extra helicopters....Personnally i think every time a politician opens their mouth, its a case of worse case scenario.

HOW MANY POLITICAL HITS CAN AN AVERAGE BELOW AVERAGE PRIME MINISTER TAKE ?

I have always hated politics and politicians, but they do hold a fascination for me. The whole lot of 'em, are rotten slimey shitheads out for what they can get , using their beliefs, sincerity(when interviewed) and sense of whats right for the people of this country to excuse the total F***k- up' s they cause these days on an almost daily basis. The cash crisis rolls on; Mp's are going to be paid to attend' the house' ,basically getting paid' to go to work', on top of the exorbitant wages they get for doing bugger all, already. The possibility of a flu-pandemic is growing, but the goverment will spend millions on pamphlets telling us all to put our hands over our mouth when we sneeze. Then they wont have to reopen the wards they've closed, as we'll be ok as we've followed their advice. But just in case they'll give 'the suits' that have infected the NHS, a heap of money to get outside contractors in, to supply fresh flowers and tissues in case some sick people brave the queues and go to hospital. If there is a pandemic, like 'the Survivors' telly series, the politicians will be safe in a bunker with their husbands watching their collections of goverment bought porn DVD's. On and on it goes...We had the earnest young tossers and spin doctors with TonyBlair known as 'Blairs Babes'.....Now we've got a similar bunch of tossers getting caught out,for their sins and screwing their system(with the backing of the British people, so they all say.) and resigning almost weekly. But apologising for 'their mistakes', not offences, mistakes ...Blairs Babes are now Browns Boobs. How many political hits can he take, i'd like to try him out a few political 'smacks in the gob;'headbutts on the nose; A knee in the nuts.....It's a dirty rough game politics.

HOW MANY CARICATURES ARE THERE ON THE WALL OF THE BOG IN No10 D0WNING ST ???

As i sat with my gallon mug of tea ;Two boiled eggs and very heavily buttered toasted crumpets watching what the rest of the world was up to at this ungodly hour of the morning. I find being shoved out of my nice warm bed by my beloved lovely lady Lynne isn't something i enjoy. I've never been a morning person. Come to that, i've never been an afternoon , evening or night person either. There must be a ten minute period of the day where i'm at my peak.....But it's definitly not the morning ,or this early morning. I'm the only one not going out, but its me getting up to bring them tea n' coffee in bed, if i had the 'bottle' it'd be over the bed ! But, ironically the one thing that eases my misery and foul early morning temper is seeing how bad and miserable the rest of the world is. In maths and physics two negatives make a positive. A positive and a negative form a negative ,so i stay away from cheery programmes and cheerful man and woman double acts on the newsroom settee in the ITV and BBC newsroom until i'm ready and my depression and misery has hit ground zero and bounced back upwards to a level which could be called relatively un-miserable. It was at this point , this morning when i turned the BEEB morning news programme on and they had the wonderful MARTIN ROWSON on talking about being told off for making our beloved leader, Gordon Brown look fat. Martin came out with the best description of our glorious leader when he described his jaw movements as, "Like swallowing a sheep". Nice one Mr Rowson, sir.


It has alway amused me when i watch the politicians, esspecially, look a caricatures of themselves. I don't think i've ever seen one that hasn't grinned broadly with an open mouthed laugh to follow, to show how they can take and appreciate the joke. But this animated appreciation is accompanied by a steely cold glint in their scheming dead fish politicians eyes. Through the years i've caricatured politicians and celebrities, the celebrities are a many and varied lot, but the politicians are a more homogenous lot. They'll tell me how great it is and how i've made them look a little overweight; Use my first name and for a moment or two i think i'm going to be invited to dinner and be friends for life. But that passes, very quickly, and eyecontact which was so intense for a second or two is broken, never to be re-established again.


Even today i meet people who have caricatures i did of them years ago. And, it is true that many of them actually do hang them up on the toilet wall. Now i don't know why, maybe it's a form of artistic criticism, its the place to put it if it's shit. Or, its the opposite , as people spend a lot of time in the 'bog' ,they can sit and shit and admire your mastery of the inky line and almost mystical understanding of the structure and composition of the human face and through this talent and knowledge reveal the true spirit and character that a big head,massive nose ,sticky out ears and smaller, but bloated body can reveal. If the toilet in number 10 has them on the wall. The smallest room would have to be, by far the biggest room. The caricatures would have to be computerised on a wall screen, and while the leader of men is sitting about his buisness the caricature would be of a thumbnail gallery , as on computer websites. Now theres a horrifying thought. Will there ever be a time when people will stop reading books ,papers ,comics and magazines on the 'bog' and sit there with their laptop...Who says technology is a wonerful thing?

HOW TO STOP RUNAWAY INFLATION AND THE MOST EXSPENSIVE BANANA 'BUTTY' IN THE WORLD.

The other day, on the radio there was a story about some African country, possibly that nice Mr Mugabe's part of the world. They decided that 'runaway inflation' would have to be arrested along with a good chunk of the population. Those eagle-eyed financial wizards figured that it was getting out of hand when a loaf of bread hit, get this...EIGHT THOUSAND BILLION DOLLARS!!!!!!!!....Not bad, eh? That's an 8 with a lot of noughts after it.(a damn sight more noughts to the right of the number ,than the average workers earn, i'd imagine.). This means that the land where bananas come from, has the most exspensive banana butties in the world! It is these noughts ,which are not only the problem, but could be the cure. The finely honed economical minds in charge have decided to cut off the noughts from these fantastic numbers to make them into a little more respectable numbers. The noughts wont be stuck onto the wage figures,(unless its to the left of the number). That is unless its the politicians wages.(That'll be to the right of the very big number).

Our politicians aren't as sneaky and of as lateral turn of mind as our African friends, they just carry on boosting the cost of everything up, dont pay us any more to pay for everything, but make sure they can afford everything by boosting their money up more than enough to keep well ahead of the rest of us peasants struggling to earn our daily bread n' banana butty.