Gazing out into space, cos' you can see it from our back garden on a clear day. I wondered on the mysteries of life the universe ,smelly socks n'the intensity and frequency of skidmarks on underwear n'stuff n' everything of importance to our daily grind. I put my massive,if underused intellect to the problems and mysteries involved. After a while i'd solved half of the mystery of the cosmos. I'd worked out the questions.WHAT..?
WHY...?
WHERE...?
WHEN....?
HOW...?
PHEW.....WHO WAS THAT....?
WHOSE ROUND IS IT....?
DO YOU FANCY A BIT O'..........?
WHERES ME KEYS.......?
Now having solved half of the equation all i needed was the answers, easy, no sweat......
ARE YOU DEAF,OR WHAT?
'COS!
WHEN DID YOU LAST HAVE THEM?
THEN
LIKE THAT
IT WASN'T ME
I GOT THE LAST ONE.
NO!..GET OFF N' GO TO SLEEP.
(couldnt find an answer to that one)
So, there you go all the problems that weigh so heavily upon our feeble mortal shoulders .Cause us so much stress,stomach disorders like flatulance and wind (stress farting is on the increase in our high pressure age.) Falling out hair. Go on havent you been slightly alarmed at the massive knotted clumps of hair blocking up your plug hole?....All those problems have been analysed and solved.You can all relax, now. When you understand it, life ,the universe n' everything, etc,etc is quite simple and straight foreward in a curved spacetime sort of way(except for the socks n' skiddies!).No, theres no need to thank me, i shall take my leave. I've solved everything and i haven't even had my breakfast, yet.
So, there you go all the problems that weigh so heavily upon our feeble mortal shoulders .Cause us so much stress,stomach disorders like flatulance and wind (stress farting is on the increase in our high pressure age.) Falling out hair. Go on havent you been slightly alarmed at the massive knotted clumps of hair blocking up your plug hole?....All those problems have been analysed and solved.You can all relax, now. When you understand it, life ,the universe n' everything, etc,etc is quite simple and straight foreward in a curved spacetime sort of way(except for the socks n' skiddies!).No, theres no need to thank me, i shall take my leave. I've solved everything and i haven't even had my breakfast, yet.
5 comments:
i often just ask why?
like why you have breakfast at 14:14pm hmm?
Smart arse!!!!
Just you be careful about what you have for breakfast, Tim, in view of those dire warnings about stress induced flatulence causing more greenhouse gases an' all which is very stressful especially for the people who aren't farting.
So just put those curried prunes and baked beans away, Tim, and have something sensible.
God knows what, though.
Are you asking a good scouse lad to give up his curried prune, baked bean n' chip butties? Thats what puts that healthy glow in my cheeks(left n' right upper)...
Stress free flatulant Tim xx
Well, it was worth I try I s'pose ...
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