Thursday, 23 February 2017

THE STRAIN OF BEING TOTALLY RELAXED AND THE WORLD ARM WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIP..."LETS CALL IT A DRAW!"....

                                                                                                         

















In my younger days of early Karate training ,like all youngsters i wanted to be tough n' hard and tensed muscles all the time and jaw ache from clenching my teeth. This was before i discovered the arts of relaxation after the science of pure bone idleness. I discovered Tai-Chi and the incredible speed and power that training slowly and gently with proper breathing can give you. This was a real eye opening moment ,the holy grail for a died in the wooly-bed blanket lazy bastard !

We used to go to boozers all over the place on our'jolly boys outings!' After a 'skinful' it was time to put the locals in their place. As the groups muscely little bugger i got pulled into the arm wrestling and grinding of teeth ,muscle popping grunting n' straining ensued. I didn't do too bad ,but the tendons in the wrist and in the crook of the arm got a good straining.

Managed to ease off all this silly stuff and recently i had an arm wrestle and relaxed myself instead of powering into it and "dang my thighs" if it didn't work !?....The secret to everything is relaxation, simple as that ,but it's hard to totally relax ,knackering stuff this relaxation, let me tell you !

Tim Leatherbarrow: THE TELEVISION HOW IT HAS PINNED US TO THE COUCH FOR YEARS EVEN IF ITS RUBBISH!

Tim Leatherbarrow: THE TELEVISION HOW IT HAS PINNED US TO THE COUCH FOR YEARS EVEN IF ITS RUBBISH!

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

THE TELEVISION HOW IT HAS PINNED US TO THE COUCH FOR YEARS EVEN IF ITS RUBBISH!


Being a child of the 60's.....i grew up straining my eyes at a tiny screen inside a huge 2ft wide box that was 4ft deep, due to thosemassive cathode ray tubes and glass tubes that took about 20 minutes to warm up once the set had been turned on. The actual act of turning on those early sets was a risky operation as the switches were mainly clunky knobs. The twisting of those clunky knobs was a hernia -producing task.

The on off was one huge clunk, but the channel selector was a  mass of clunks, well a few as there was only two channels , the good ol 'beeb' n' ITV. Later ,of course came the intellectual odd one ,BEEB2. In those old days the pictures were not so much black n' white, but grey n' grey. I seem to remember lots of cowboys and American detectives and British cops as in Z-Cars with its distinctive theme tune which they still play at the Everton ground at Goodison park.

Lots of Irwin Allen stuff  like 'Voyage to the bottom of the sea'; 'Lost in space', but we beat them when a certain white haired bad tempered time lord in a telephone box arrived quietly , but then exploded with the pepperpot Daleks! With its distorted blobby opening titles and etherial music with hissing and ashmatic wheezing was wonderful and at the time terrifying with the famous possible urban myth that people hid behind the settee when the good Doctor and various lousy special effected monsters were on. The fact that you could hide behind the settee shows how things have changed. The settee was in the middle of the room close up to the telly. Not over against the far wall where it doesn't matter how far away you are from the 76 inch flat screen telly on the far side of the room. Even if you could hide behind the settee the kids wouldn't ,they've been spoiled by wonderful realer than reality special CGI effects the wonderful fear the imagination could instill has dissappeared and gone.

Another favourite of mine which many dont remember was a telly version of the 'Dirty Dozen', but there was only four in 'Garrisons Gorillas!'....Always behind enemy lines in German uniforms blasting away with Schmeisser machine guns. I got the DVD's and like many revisits to your past , it never quite hits the hoped for nostalgic G-Spot. One that did ,i still love was the spy series with the meanest assassin of all, Edward Woodward as 'Callan', still brilliant.

Boyhood excitment peaked with Apollo 8 going around the back of the moon, then Apollo 11 landing on the moon. At this stage i was a space mad nut thanks to a certain Gerry Anderson and his puppet and string Supermarination series of Thunderbirds, Stingray,Superca,Fireball XL5 and my favourite the real life UFO.

The clunky knobs were replaced by swimming pool diving board-like press buttons and ,wonderful colour! In those long never to be forgotten days we used to go outside to play, but if there was a big film on ,like on a Saturday evening we'd go home to watch it ,as stuff didn't get repeated very often. so if you missed it ,you waited for years. I remember the excitment of the first Bond film on telly.

We never had BBC2 for a long time and on a Monday evening at 8 o'clock, ITV had news in 'World in Action ,whilst the 'BEEB' had Panorama, yet another news show, but on BEEB2 which we could hear, but not see they used to have 'The High Chaperal', or Alias Smith and Jones'. Then 'Oh joy be unrestrained we finally got BEEB2  with a picture so lots of cowies n' indians and no more news and current affairs.




As the years and tellys evolved the main drawback about colour telly was that colour telly was a lot clearer and the effects which were crappy in the days of black n' white were missed , but not with colour, remember the Jon Pertwee Doctor Who onwards for many years and the great soap 'Crossroads', a Birmimgham motel made of cardboard.

Then came the video and you could keep all the programmes in the growing heap of tapes that we all have and i'm afraid to admit still have. All the action and adventure dried up and replaced by soaps and game shows were ,if you were lucky you'd win a toaster. More channels flooded in with the onset of sky.
Nowadays the millions of channels we flick through with our very handy and looseable hand sized remote controls, have mainly repeats of stuff thats been on twice that same day. These days people dont want to be in a band or musicians playing gigs, etc, they just want to be pop stars ,so singing into their hairbrush is enough to get them onto the talent spotting shows that infest our telly weekend nights as in The X-Factor. The talent moved from singing to dancing to ice slating and everything is geared to 'the Celebrity!', a person whose just famous for being famous. The calendar doesn't chart the year anymore ,its what celebrity talent show is on ,Strictly Comes Dancing'; X-Factor and 'I'm a celebrity get me out of here!'
A very odd thing is the amount of adverts for training and sport training DVD's as we all need our core developed and a 6-pack ,by dancing to the instructions coming from your telly as you dance or shadow box on the mat in front of the set.....Very odd!

We're all spoiled for choice ,but unlike in the days of 2 channels were every day was different , now we have hundreds of channels all the same ,shite!

Tuesday, 24 January 2017

ONLY PRESIDENT FOR A FEW DAYS AND TERESA MAY FIRES A TRIDENT MISSLE AT 'OUR CUZN'S ACROSS THE POND! :...TIM LEATHERBARROW

DONALD TRUMP RAISING 'THE WIG' !


Ah well its happened! A certain MR DONALD TRUMP, A multi billion, trillion quinti- squillionaire of the parish of Manhatten New York has gone from being possibly the richest most powerful man in the U.S.A. to being .....The richest most powerful man ...In the U.S.A. Only the President, but wether the president is the most powerful man in the states is debateable, he's the face that gets to shake hands around the world, don't know if he actually does anything, rather like our prime minister, as we all know who do fuck all . Any politician would know the best place to be is 'IN OPPOSITION!', as on the other powerless side of the house ,you don't actually have to do anything just slag off everything the goverment haven't done, but are proposing to do, the trouble starts if you get voted in.

JEREMY CORBYN


It is for this reason that the LABOUR PARTY have as their leader a dedicated ,but totally useless waste of time as party leader OL RED JEZZA CORBYN....Who has lots to say, but nothing to do  and hasn't a chance of leading the party to leave the opposition benches into the goverment seats which, i would imagine makes many of the bone idle ,lazy, exspense fiddling responsibility- phobic M.P's of the opposition LABOUR seats more than happy


The goverment  have had a busy year having the BREXIT VOTE and  the majority voted to leave our 'friends?' in Europe...We live in a democracy and the basic premiss of that is we vote for 'whatever' and who ever gets the most votes wins, it was voted to leave the EU, but the losing minority aren't happy with this as , apparently all those who voted to leave are scrounging rascists from 'Up North!'.....I don't pretend to understand the 'ins n' outs' of it all, but the vote was passed and as far as my simple naive political mind is concerned 'thats it!


Over the pond the same sort of thing has happened. The vote for the presidential election  took place and DONALD, gawd bless him won. But he won in the home of democracy and 'moms apple pie' as the yanks like to think of their home , but those who were fairly beaten demonstrated and  voiced their disagreement of the election process that runs the country.....Personnally i think its not the new president thats nuts ,but the population when i watched 11-year old girl guides blasting away with automatic rifles.

"OK, TERESA. I GET YOU DONT WANT ME AS PRESIDENT, BUT ISN'T FIRING A TRIDENT MISSILE AT ME A BIT OVER THE TOP????"

Theres worried talk about the breakup of the EU and TRUMP being less than a fan of NATO, so the RUSSIANS are happy with the possible break up of those two  exclusive clubs. Will the cold war 'heat up' again?....Will the arms race start up again? The British wont be caught out , thats for sure so to show we don't take shit off anyone ,even our close allies and cousins we fired a TRIDENT MISSILE at the UNITED STATES....Trump wants America to be great, but TERESA MAY  might be  kickstarting THE BRITISH EMPIRE again ,i'm expecting my call up papers any day soon.....



Friday, 13 January 2017

TIM LEATHERBARROW: DONALD TRUMP THE GORGON!!!....HAIR WITH MINDS OF ITS OWN ON A NIGHT OUT IN RUSSIA!



The whole world hates the American presidential elections as they last , so it seems longer than the term that the existing president gets to spend in the White house after winning the last 'slog'!...Boring as shit! is a good description of the whole 'circus', but for a reason i cannot fathom the Yanks love it and like a Supergroup rock tour they have political rallies filled with flag waving screaming fans????....I honestly wouldn't turn my head to look at any British politician if they walked past in town , i genuinally hate the slimey bastards.

The whole world has been thrown into chaos ,not by two people, but by one man. Hilary Clinton is an experianced politician and has flounced arounds the corridors of power for years under various presidents ,even her husband, who had a few other WhiteHouse ladies under him as Hilary was over him ,i can't imagine her taking orders from the hubbie.

No, the force of nature was a hairpiece with minds of its own like the mythical GORGON atop the head of a certain DONALD TRUMP, possibly the most powerful buisnessman on the planet. He virtually ran the country ,so thought "Gee!..Why not go the whole hog!" and actually run the whole sheebang!?

Politics n' politicians are all the same and all faith has been destroyed as each candidate and party change, but nothing else changes. If Hilary'd got in i doubt things would've changed much, but one thing about Donald is that there will be change, wether that change is good or bad is yet to be seen. The man is totally un-P.C. and offended lots of people and angered all kinds all over, the political version of the atom bomb. He's an opinionated hard nosed buisnessman and isn't afraid of confrontation. He has no speechwriters, etc, he's quite happy and visably enjoys facing the press and announcing to anyone his intentions on Twitter, i think it is amazing !

Attacking immigrants ,building walls to cut off mexico and all points south; Building up nuclear weapons?...Wether the yanks actually reduced them to levels they claim is debatable, the US are the most paranoid n' Xenophobic nation on the planet, the Chinese n' Ruskies are definitly not angels, but those military medal clad nutters who run the place are just as nuts as those in the Pentagon. Trumps a hard man and knows power and control , he'll be right at home. Politics over the next few years should be ,shall we say interesting?

A mercenary ex British M.I.6. man reckons the Russians are hacking n' blackmailing Trump and American political stuff with film of Trump haven't naughties with Russian ladies in Russian hotels, etc, but Trump came out thouroughly unflustered and denied it all pointing out he realises that he's a target for foreign intelligence and most hotels etc he stays in on foreign trips theres been cameras set up and asked "Am i stupid enough to do all this while being filmed?", he may have a point. Whereas most politicians would crumble under these 'allegations' and resign to 'Do some gardening!', It's just another day at the office for DONALD TRUMP !

Tuesday, 10 January 2017

TIM LEATHERBARROW....HAVE WE ALL RECOVERED FROM ANOTHER FESTIVE GUT-BUSTING; BRAIN PICKLING ;FESTIVE SEASON.

THE WISE MEN WISELY SCARPERED WEST WHEN THE STAR IN THE EAST FOLLOWED THEM !


















Well thats that!....Another gut-busting ; brain pickling fortnight over with as the festive gluttony and piss-up is now done n' dusted. The decorations are down and the new year resolutions are starting to wither ,die and be forgotten as the new year builds up and our will power dies out.

Go on , admit it you were going to lose weight; go to the gymn; Read more books; Basically all the stuff you were determined to do the last 10 New Years!!!....Christmas is now over as all the christmas film channels on Sky have stopped ,but it does feel a little like its just starting as you watch all the programmes you've recorded over the weeks and they've still got the lead up adverts to christmas ,so theres people in party hats joyously cooking and pouring gravy over turkeys. I'm ploughing through the X-Files and Spooks and whizzing hi-speed between level 12 and 6 on the fast foreward on the remote and seeing blurred festive families and turkeys and kids playing in the snow. I then have to watch a little backwards a little slower as i fly past the beginning of the next part of the programme and have to rewind to get to the restart.

In the 'old days' programmes started with a theme tune and showing the stars then on it went. The breaks had 'End of part one', or whatever , then 'Part two', or whatever. Nowadays programmes just start and as it goes on for the next twenty minutes you get the names of producers, directors, etc and the break is just that...'Zip!'..Gone to ads. Likewise when it restarts ...'Zip!...Ads finish and instantly back to programme. A problem is that as you whizz through the fast foreward the ads before the reumption of the programme is some forthcoming programmes , even future episodes of what your watching so you have no idea when to press play again, so you'll end up half way through the next half unaware the adverts have finished.

But we had a 'good' un' while it lasted. Now i've got to get another 7 months stint of work around the other side of the world to help pay for the next christmas. The fine busy caricaturist month of December kicked off with nothing for yours truly, then a rush of work came through, oh joy be unrestrained thought i !........Then after knocking a few other gigs off as the dates clashed the originals decided to cancel, so i got a few , but nothing like it looked like being at one point, bastards!

Anyhow , one n' all hope it went well and the New year is a 'Blast', lets live each day as it's meant to be.