Thursday, 30 April 2009


Theres always been wars, but not many were everybody hasn't a bloody clue as to"What the hell are we doing here?"....But the invasion of Iraq is one. The U.S ofA. Gawd bless their mom's apple pie dragged us in. Blaming a not very nice, but fairly harmless dictator chappie, a certain mr S. Hussein for the terrible 9/11 hijacked aircraft smashing into the New York Trade Towers. The results of which were as big a shock to the bearded madmen planning the strike in a cave in Afghanistan. When the whole structures came crashing down in a city wide cloud of dust and rubble they were probably as amazed as the rest of the world. So, to battle terrorism theU.S. and us. (we have a special relationship with the yanks.) invade Iraq and police Afghanistan. Which didn't end the war against terrorism, probably 'kickstarted' it. Every muslim and his mate are tramping from Leeds or Bradford to train as terrorists in Pakistan.
But much to 'our special partners' disgust ,"The goddamn Brits're pulling out".... As everybody knows the Americans won all the wars when they "Pulled our butts outta the fire of,again!" It's not over yet, tho' as we'll be entrenched in Afghanistan till 'hell freezes over'. The Russians invaded from virtually 'next door' and 'had their arses kicked'. Are we going to have much more luck fighting this gorrilla war, i doubt it. The U.S. may throw their massive resources into Afghanistan ,if they don't blow us up with 'friendly fire', they may even hit some enemy soldiers hidden in the hills. But it didn't work in Vietnam, Korea, or anywhere else so the 'war on terror will carry on and on and on...'

Wednesday, 29 April 2009


I have always hated politics and politicians, but they do hold a fascination for me. The whole lot of 'em, are rotten slimey shitheads out for what they can get , using their beliefs, sincerity(when interviewed) and sense of whats right for the people of this country to excuse the total F***k- up' s they cause these days on an almost daily basis. The cash crisis rolls on; Mp's are going to be paid to attend' the house' ,basically getting paid' to go to work', on top of the exorbitant wages they get for doing bugger all, already. The possibility of a flu-pandemic is growing, but the goverment will spend millions on pamphlets telling us all to put our hands over our mouth when we sneeze. Then they wont have to reopen the wards they've closed, as we'll be ok as we've followed their advice. But just in case they'll give 'the suits' that have infected the NHS, a heap of money to get outside contractors in, to supply fresh flowers and tissues in case some sick people brave the queues and go to hospital. If there is a pandemic, like 'the Survivors' telly series, the politicians will be safe in a bunker with their husbands watching their collections of goverment bought porn DVD's. On and on it goes...We had the earnest young tossers and spin doctors with TonyBlair known as 'Blairs Babes'.....Now we've got a similar bunch of tossers getting caught out,for their sins and screwing their system(with the backing of the British people, so they all say.) and resigning almost weekly. But apologising for 'their mistakes', not offences, mistakes ...Blairs Babes are now Browns Boobs. How many political hits can he take, i'd like to try him out a few political 'smacks in the gob;'headbutts on the nose; A knee in the nuts.....It's a dirty rough game politics.

Friday, 24 April 2009


We live in seriously terrible frightening times. The world survived bird flu, now we're on the virge of a killer dose of pig flu or swine flu which is going to wipe us all out. So that has helped take our mind of the credit crunches; Financial meltdowns ; Broken banking systems . A financial system hit by a disease caused by a similar cause ,Swines, fat pigs, etc, or bankers and politicians, as they are better known. But it has all finally really taken hold. The normal working people ,thats us ,at the bottom of the pile, we dont warrant much sympathy from those who 'run or ruin the show.' But now the news has reached me that the suffering has spread furthur afeild to those who really need their massive amounts of money. Paul McCartney and Elton John are now not as high up in the worlds richest people top 10, as they once were. This is truly a sad state of affairs when these heroes and icons must be forced to take their destinies in their own hands. Sergeant Pepper's lonely hearts club band and Bennie and the jets have joined together to work their way out of this depression. I believe they're playing round the side of the Tesco garage, by the Spar shop on the main pedestrianised precinct in Widnes. The reformed Genesis are playing after the Bingo on the nights when the line dancing club aren't using the church hall in Haverford West. The Who were playing in the tunnel between platform 1-3 and platform 4-5 at Warrington Bank Quay station. But they got thrown out when Townshend broke a guitar and the neck hit an old lady getting her pensioners railcard checked at the ticket desk.
U2 were asked to leave the Asda carpark in Slough, as they were in the way of the trolley collectors. And i've heard that the Indigo2 concerts for Michael Jacksons' come back, 'i need to pay off my debts tour' have been transfferred to Acton working mens club.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009


The other day the telly's normal terrestrial channel was showing a BRUCE LEE film..FISTS OF FURY. I had to laugh , as for years n' years the Bruce Lee films and Kung Fu films would never be shown on the telly. Even after his death and he was a legend, and everybody knew Bruce Lee and wanted to be Bruce Lee. The younger ones had never actually seen him in action as the films were X-rated and the telly would never show any 'kung fu' films.Eventually the video tape was invented and later the films were available to get hold of. And even if you did ,the bits that always got cut were the bits with the 'rice flails', or NUNCHUKAS. You remember them. The clubs with the chain connecting them that Brucie baby was whirling around his body before braining some baddie. Our glorious leaders and betters decided that showing the youthful hooligans of Britain these weapons would cause them all to hit the streets knocking seven bells outta each other with them. I t's simple as that , you walk into your local rice flail shop, buy one and start battering everybody with it, simple.... Oh no it's bloody not. Take it from someone who bought one. Walking home across some playing fields in the dark of the evening. I thought i would have a go with my brand new, chained and engraved hardwood nunchukas. So, i started swinging them around, then CLUNK!!!..I'd whacked myself over the head with the damn things. I fell to my knees clutching my cracked skull, but i managed to stifle my agonised scream to a pained groan, just in case anyone was around to see what a prick i was. Over the years i've been whacked with the damn things a couple of times, still no nearer to mastering the damn things. There, now smartarse politicians, you missed a chance there to get rid of your hooligans by letting them go out, spend their hard stolen money and brain themselves with these deadly weapons. I bet even Bruce Lee had a few good bumps from them, but they cut them from the final cut of the film. Theres only me to expose the truth, again. Where would you be without me, eh?
Actually i was a massive fan of BRUCE LEE..THE LITTLE DRAGON.. When i were' nobbut a lad'.I had posters and a book about him, all treasured possessions and i could tell you all about him, but i'd never seen him even move. As the films were X-Rated, i wasn't able to go. But we were in Ireland to stay with the family in a village called COOTEHILL amongst the bogs of co; Cavan. In a little village about 30 miles away on the pot-holed roads of County Cavan(thats where they invented pot-holes) called OLDCASTLE..They had a little fleapit cinema and they were showing 'ENTER THE DRAGON'. But you only had to be 16 to get in. So, me poor ol' dad was roped in to take me. We got to Oldcastle and in we went. In those days and at that age, the cinema was an event. I can still remember the excitment. The film started with Bruce Lee fighting in shorts and boxing gloves. But it was, "Oh my god, that's Bruce Lee".....I loved it and couldn't come back down to Earth for days. Even now i love that film. It may not be a film classic in the accepted understanding , maybe 2 or 3 stars out of 5 in the telly ratings on the telly page of the paper, but to me . I remember what it meant and still feel a little of that spark from years ago and thats enough for me and my dad quite enjoyed it too, god bless the old sod.

Saturday, 18 April 2009


SUPERMAN, THE MAN OF STEEL.....And of course mild mannered Clark Kent. How does it work? I mean , our Superhero can fly through the centres of stars without getting even singed ;He can alter the orbit of a planet with a gentle super nudge; He could melt America with a blast of heat vision and extinguish a supernova with his super breath; Amble through the time and space distorting mindboggling power of your average massive Black hole without even messing his hair. Never mind faster than a speeding bullet or able to leap the tallest building, etc. This guy is seriously SOOPER!.. somebody you'd like on your side.....Or would you?.....I mean you could fire a nuclear missile into his eyeball and he wouldn't blink. He's totally invulnerable and can't be hurt by anything, so he can't be that sensitive to the 'touches' of normal life.. His strength is mindboggling ,so he couldn't weaken down, i wouldn't want to shake hands with him. And how many type writers has Clark Kent smashed up in the Daily Planet? Computer keyboards ! There must be a skipful of the shattered plastic remains from his typing fingers of steel. He could pick his nose of steel ,scoop a lump of snot of steel. Then like anybody, he flicks it with a superfinger of steel....The lump of super snot ricochettes around the world 40 times smashing buildings, causing untold death and destruction. He spits on the pavement , leaving a 30 foot crater where his super'gob' smashed into the ground. Imagine if he passed wind (farted,ok).... Winds would destroy Metropolis and ravage the farmlands of America, possibly affecting climatic conditions around the world. Possibly boosting global warming, i mean when have you ever had a cold fart?.....
Then , what about poor ol' Lois Lane, Supermans girlfriend? It doesn't bear thinking about what a ,superhug, supersnog, and , of course a super leg-over would do to the weak human form of poor old Lois, Other than crushing to a pulp or tearing our 'ace reporter apart.. The only way around this romantic dilema is for Lois to have a lump of Kryptonite to hand to dampen our heroes ardour when needed and some 'toys' from Anne Summers, or someplace for when she's feeling 'up for it. But they should never be'up for it together'...It'll end in.. Well, it'll end in YUK!!!!......Superman needs to get a hobby to take his mind off Lois.....Maybe the trumpet, but then again maybe not.

Friday, 17 April 2009


( I found this drawing from years ago, i can't remember why it was drawn )

but it suddenly seemed right.

20 Years ago 96 people were killed at Hillsborough while waiting to watch Liverpool F.C. play a game of 'footy' against Nottingham Forest in the cup. They would never live to see the game.. In an example of ,stupidity, incompetence, madness, insanity that bordered on murder, these people were crushed to death and many more were badly injured. Newspapers claimed the Liverpool crowds caused the disaster; Bodies were robbed and defiled ,etc, etc..... Even today all these years later The Sun newspaper isn't stocked in newsagents around Liverpool and many 'Scousers' refuse to soil their hands with the newsprint. 2Days ago Anfield was filled with family, well wishers , players old and new ,dignitaries, etc to pay respects to those who died and suffered so needlessly all those years ago. Silences were observed and proper respect was given by so many people as the ground and the city ground to a silent halt . Not just Reds ,But Blues ,and not just football supporters, just people, Liverpool people..'Scousers' !

Liverpool has always been a rough ol' town. As many sea ports it has its own character and spirit. It has hard knuckles but also a soft heart. Liverpool is fiercly independant and will take no crap off anybody. It can be vicous and nasty, but it more often is warm and funny. Liverpool knows its faults and must take the blame for many of them, but nowhere near all of them. Liverpool hasn't been given much, compared to what has been taken from it. Liverpool owes nothing to nobody. Liverpools treasure lies in the spirit and honesty of its people. At Anfield all was well until a politician got up to 'give a speech'..... He didn't get far and was drowned right out. Liverpool wants justice for what happened all those years ago, not political bullshit.

Sometimes i get depressed when the place looks like its going to hell in a handcart, but days like the other day, tragic though it is, shows that Liverpool wont forget. And through the 96 the spirit of Liverpool will glow ever brighter.