HOW MANY POLITICAL HITS CAN AN AVERAGE BELOW AVERAGE PRIME MINISTER TAKE ?

I have always hated politics and politicians, but they do hold a fascination for me. The whole lot of 'em, are rotten slimey shitheads out for what they can get , using their beliefs, sincerity(when interviewed) and sense of whats right for the people of this country to excuse the total F***k- up' s they cause these days on an almost daily basis. The cash crisis rolls on; Mp's are going to be paid to attend' the house' ,basically getting paid' to go to work', on top of the exorbitant wages they get for doing bugger all, already. The possibility of a flu-pandemic is growing, but the goverment will spend millions on pamphlets telling us all to put our hands over our mouth when we sneeze. Then they wont have to reopen the wards they've closed, as we'll be ok as we've followed their advice. But just in case they'll give 'the suits' that have infected the NHS, a heap of money to get outside contractors in, to supply fresh flowers and tissues in case some sick people brave the queues and go to hospital. If there is a pandemic, like 'the Survivors' telly series, the politicians will be safe in a bunker with their husbands watching their collections of goverment bought porn DVD's. On and on it goes...We had the earnest young tossers and spin doctors with TonyBlair known as 'Blairs Babes'.....Now we've got a similar bunch of tossers getting caught out,for their sins and screwing their system(with the backing of the British people, so they all say.) and resigning almost weekly. But apologising for 'their mistakes', not offences, mistakes ...Blairs Babes are now Browns Boobs. How many political hits can he take, i'd like to try him out a few political 'smacks in the gob;'headbutts on the nose; A knee in the nuts.....It's a dirty rough game politics.

IF IT WASN'T FOR THE DOCTORS WE WOULDN'T BE SICK.....

There wa a time in the not too distant past when diseases were things you caught in places like Africa and India. Us British used to get colds, flu, mumps and measles and various genital infestations. But times they have changed and the places with the crosses painted on the front door are the NHS hospitals, riddled with not just bugs ,but SUPERBUGS! You not only have to survive the disease that you've contracted through your own efforts and endeavours ,but also the home grown diseases that the hospital has to give you. All in all your probably safer having your operation in the carpark than the operating theatre.

Any nurse or doctor will tell you that those lovely politicians who know all about health and curing of those sick voters they have decided that outdated concepts like dedicated qualified staff ,cleanliness and care over periods longer than one day in a hospital bed for the sick and injured. The answer is to bring ergonomically designed bright airey offices for the incredibally paid 'suits', who now run the place. Mostly the places seem to be run badly, but the good thing is that, the 'suits ', who don't know the difference between a lung and a laptop, are trained to concenterate on the all-important 'spin' and so everything can be made to sound okay. And blame is ,of course transfferred elsewhere, nurses and sick people are exspensive and could do with being reduced or got rid of altogether, so theres a good place to start. health is a buiness, and like all buisnesses in these hard times, there must be cut backs.

The goverment, gawd bless 'em, have stepped in to save the sick n' needy voter with.......A CHECKLIST !..This checklist, if followed will lead to the health and salvation of many sick n' dying voters, lives and votes will be saved. The doctors are killing the voters ,so the politicians have to adress the problem and show the doctors what they are doing wrong. Everybody knows all doctors do is walk around telling everybody to take tablets;Drive off in their sports cars to the golf course and refuse to call at sick peoples houses at ungodly hours of the morning. If they knew as much about medicine as they do about golf and bridge we wouldnt need the goverment to save us with a checklist.
The checklist has such medical groundbreaking, inciteful things like ;Name and sex;Occupation; Medical problem; Confirm operation; Enough fluids? Any allergies? Check no equipments left inside; Check the same amount of bloods in there at the end as there was at the beginning; Make sure the patient isn't dead. The death of a patient while of course being tragic, would also constitute a waste of time and money which could be put towards a new pot-plant for the 'suits' office. And so it goes on. I can see it now the NHS rising again like a phoenix from the ashes to save us ,cure us and keep us well until the next change in goverment NHS policy.

WE MAY BE UP SHIT CREEK WITHOUT A PADDLE, BUT GEORGE 'DUBYA'S' GONNA WORK SOMETHING OUT TO SAVE US, THERE, NOW DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ?-

There is a pile of finance companies in the 'good ol' U.S.of.A, which go by names like 'Red neck George Finklesteins'; Auntie delores's amalgamated ; Chuck n' Butch's money factory, mom's apple pie finances, etc, etc, all who seem to be having money troubles. But far from being the names of back water Kentucky shops n' banks out of old Beverley Hillbilly episodes, they're huge American finance corporations and they are having all kinds of money troubles, which ,apparently is screwing up the prices of unsmoked back bacon, Rice Kripies and teabags in Asda over here. So as the world plummets down towards this financial catastrophe of one of old or new testament or even biblical proportions. Banks, building societies, etc close or have to be bailed out by the Bank of England,staff are booted to hell out of it and theres nothing else on Sky News between Eamon Holmes and the weather n' adverts, but financial 'shock horror, breaking, latest financial updates. But its alright, theres nothing to worry about. No! George 'Dubya' Bush is going to work on solving the cash crisis that threatens to engulf us all. He will be aided in this task of averting this financial meltdown by the man who sold all our gold reserves, lost us all our pensions and made it so we can'retire untill we're about 96, the 'boy' wonder, Mr Gordon Brown. There i told you, it'd be ok.

I wonder why the money and finances of the world aren't left to bankers and experts in finance whose aim is to keep the money and wealth flowing, admittedly ,some going their way, but that is a little more understandable than having the finances of the world totally dependant on bastard politicians, party politics,opinion polls , presidential candidates, spin doctors, etc, etc. Imagine going in to hospital for an emergency operation and instead of a surgeon they dragged in a politician, because his party cares and wants to save your life and to show the British public how ,not only is the NHS safe in their hand ,but he can whip your spleen out too. The patient may die, but a goverment spokesman would put a positive spin on it, so all would be well, well not for you, but your dead .