IF IT WASN'T FOR THE DOCTORS WE WOULDN'T BE SICK.....

There wa a time in the not too distant past when diseases were things you caught in places like Africa and India. Us British used to get colds, flu, mumps and measles and various genital infestations. But times they have changed and the places with the crosses painted on the front door are the NHS hospitals, riddled with not just bugs ,but SUPERBUGS! You not only have to survive the disease that you've contracted through your own efforts and endeavours ,but also the home grown diseases that the hospital has to give you. All in all your probably safer having your operation in the carpark than the operating theatre.

Any nurse or doctor will tell you that those lovely politicians who know all about health and curing of those sick voters they have decided that outdated concepts like dedicated qualified staff ,cleanliness and care over periods longer than one day in a hospital bed for the sick and injured. The answer is to bring ergonomically designed bright airey offices for the incredibally paid 'suits', who now run the place. Mostly the places seem to be run badly, but the good thing is that, the 'suits ', who don't know the difference between a lung and a laptop, are trained to concenterate on the all-important 'spin' and so everything can be made to sound okay. And blame is ,of course transfferred elsewhere, nurses and sick people are exspensive and could do with being reduced or got rid of altogether, so theres a good place to start. health is a buiness, and like all buisnesses in these hard times, there must be cut backs.

The goverment, gawd bless 'em, have stepped in to save the sick n' needy voter with.......A CHECKLIST !..This checklist, if followed will lead to the health and salvation of many sick n' dying voters, lives and votes will be saved. The doctors are killing the voters ,so the politicians have to adress the problem and show the doctors what they are doing wrong. Everybody knows all doctors do is walk around telling everybody to take tablets;Drive off in their sports cars to the golf course and refuse to call at sick peoples houses at ungodly hours of the morning. If they knew as much about medicine as they do about golf and bridge we wouldnt need the goverment to save us with a checklist.
The checklist has such medical groundbreaking, inciteful things like ;Name and sex;Occupation; Medical problem; Confirm operation; Enough fluids? Any allergies? Check no equipments left inside; Check the same amount of bloods in there at the end as there was at the beginning; Make sure the patient isn't dead. The death of a patient while of course being tragic, would also constitute a waste of time and money which could be put towards a new pot-plant for the 'suits' office. And so it goes on. I can see it now the NHS rising again like a phoenix from the ashes to save us ,cure us and keep us well until the next change in goverment NHS policy.