MAN OF STEEL vs TRUMPET OF BRASS

SUPERMAN, THE MAN OF STEEL.....And of course mild mannered Clark Kent. How does it work? I mean , our Superhero can fly through the centres of stars without getting even singed ;He can alter the orbit of a planet with a gentle super nudge; He could melt America with a blast of heat vision and extinguish a supernova with his super breath; Amble through the time and space distorting mindboggling power of your average massive Black hole without even messing his hair. Never mind faster than a speeding bullet or able to leap the tallest building, etc. This guy is seriously SOOPER!.. somebody you'd like on your side.....Or would you?.....I mean you could fire a nuclear missile into his eyeball and he wouldn't blink. He's totally invulnerable and can't be hurt by anything, so he can't be that sensitive to the 'touches' of normal life.. His strength is mindboggling ,so he couldn't weaken down, i wouldn't want to shake hands with him. And how many type writers has Clark Kent smashed up in the Daily Planet? Computer keyboards ! There must be a skipful of the shattered plastic remains from his typing fingers of steel. He could pick his nose of steel ,scoop a lump of snot of steel. Then like anybody, he flicks it with a superfinger of steel....The lump of super snot ricochettes around the world 40 times smashing buildings, causing untold death and destruction. He spits on the pavement , leaving a 30 foot crater where his super'gob' smashed into the ground. Imagine if he passed wind (farted,ok).... Winds would destroy Metropolis and ravage the farmlands of America, possibly affecting climatic conditions around the world. Possibly boosting global warming, i mean when have you ever had a cold fart?.....

Then , what about poor ol' Lois Lane, Supermans girlfriend? It doesn't bear thinking about what a ,superhug, supersnog, and , of course a super leg-over would do to the weak human form of poor old Lois, Other than crushing to a pulp or tearing our 'ace reporter apart.. The only way around this romantic dilema is for Lois to have a lump of Kryptonite to hand to dampen our heroes ardour when needed and some 'toys' from Anne Summers, or someplace for when she's feeling 'up for it. But they should never be'up for it together'...It'll end in.. Well, it'll end in YUK!!!!......Superman needs to get a hobby to take his mind off Lois.....Maybe the trumpet, but then again maybe not.

WHOSE THE CLOWNS,THE FELLAHS WITH THE BIG RED NOSES AT ZIPPO'S CIRCUS, OR THE FELLAHS WITH THE BIG ROLL OF RED TAPE AT BIRMINGHAM CITY COUNCIL?

Red tape strikes again!..Clowns at Zippo's circus in the fine city of Birmingham have been banned from playing their trumpets live ,under the clown playing trumpets live act, without a license, of 1602(4.15 p.m, Tuesday afternoon,sometime in March). Enforced by those fine folk in Brum city council, in the Department of stopping strangely dressed entertainers playing instruments live without a license.(The DOSSDEPILWAL). Keep up the good work ,chap n' chapesses, we'd be lost without you. My god ,imagine how the world would be if clowns were allowed to roam free around circus rings blowing unlicensed trumpets to unsuspecting families. If they knew the truth they wouldnt be laughing and enjoying themselves..It'd be the beginning of the end..ARMAGEDDON!!!

Mind you, it's not all bad. This has given me a chance to use a cartoon about trumpets i've had lying around the floor of the studio, 'for a while'. There's no clowns or city councillors, or red tape in it, but there is a trumpet ,or a likeness of a trumpet, so it'll have to do......Oh c'mon do you know what its like to have to draw something for every comment i want to make. Just making life a little easier for myself, but still bringing happiness, joy ,knowledge and wisdom to the world. I can do no more.