F**KIN' FREKING !.....LIKE F**KIN' DRINKING ....HIGH PRESSURE NOXIOUS GASEOUS EMISSIONS AND OMINOUS RUMBLINGS!

                When you go out on a night on the'razzle' us Brits tend to go for it in our time honoured fashion which, basically consists of going into a crowded room and guzzling as much drink as is inhumanly possible. The beer consists of two types, basically ,lagers which are gaseous and the darker thicker stouts which are sludgey!!!.....Wether we force gaseous liquids or thick sludge under increasing pressure into our system ,after a bit ,in it's own special way the body starts to make its discomfort known in a variety of recognisable ways to both the person involved and ,unfortunatly for those sharing their company. 

The symptoms of this physical rebellion against high pressure liquids and gasses forced into the body consist of the emission of high pressure noxious gasses, commonly known as 'farts!'...Rumbling guts and the high pressure emission of the bladder and ocassionly the stomach contents. Not pleasant at all!

But somewhere a scientist sliding down a toilet cubicle wall after the suffering described above put the hard learned lessons to good use and developed the theory that would lead to the process known as FRECKING!

In theory if you force high pressure liquids and gas into anything ,something has got to give and something will come out the other end????

So one day up in the drinking capital of the country around the North West where we understand the principles involved in drinking to excess ,so FRECKING sounded like just giving the ground a drink ...Our green n' pleasant land has sustained us for long enough and deserves a wee drinkie!

So high pressure fluids were forced deep into the ground and like its human counterparts gas and fluids were emitted in the form of gas and oil, which to the politicians and fuel companies was 'absolutly super!' As pound signs filled their eyes and minds, so enraptured with the financial boom that the good ground had peed ,burped and farted out they were quite happy to dismiss the 'rumblings!'?

The boozed up lands 'rumblings' took the form of a mild earthquake!.....But it was only 'mild!' so , of course thats ok!....But considering the area isn't exactly 'The Pacific Rim ' not known for fault lines; Volcanic activity and general drastic seismic disasters suddenly has an earthquake after a good night on the 'Freck!'....Understandebly the locals who sat watching their cups n' saucers rattling on their shelves were understandebly perturbed by the ussually reliable floor suddenly taking it upon itself to bounce and rattle and even crack slightly. But ,of course those who know better reassured us there was nothing to worry about. Even when our cuz'n's in the U.S. reported a drastic increase in seismic house rattling ground shaking earthquakes due to increase in 'Frecking'....The yanks in charge are even more worse money grabbing bastards then our lot so the 'people' were ignored and on it goes!

As we all know we have a special relationship with 'our cuz'n's'......That means our goverment want to be quids/dollars in with the powers that be in Washington, so it would be in all our benefit to keep them happy and ,funnily enough an announcement was made for the go ahead for licenses to be awarded for Fracking operations to take place all over our green n' pleasant land.....They stressed that areas of natural beauty will be spared which leaves the rest of the country to look like those Texas oilfields with nothing ,but pumps and smoke and fire as far as the eye can see.

When you drink a lot you get a beer belly...I magine the country with one huge expanding beerbelly.....Probably around Birmingham ,which will rise above the surrounding countryside, a little like Yellowstone park which is swelling and one day likely to explode in a huge volcanic eruption.....Some say that Brum exploding wouldn't be a bad thing, but it would disrupt the hi-speed rail link ,the other bright idea!

When you see Marilyn Monroe with that draft up her gusset shot that could be happening all over as gas spurts up the new faults and cracks in our pavements from our constantly rumbling frecked out green bits and totally unpleasant land!

PEOPLE RECOGNISE ME FROM MY SELF CARICATURES, DOES THAT MEAN I'M TWISTED ,DISTORTED N' UGLY, OR I'M A GOOD CARICATURIST?

Only a week or so ago, if you've been paying attention you will have known about my adventure at a comic fare down in 'Brum', with that fine physical wreck Hunt Emerson . On the night i arrived for the musical opening in a boozer in the city, i was waiting for Hunts lovely lady Jane, as she being the fine Irish girl she is doesn't like to see a travelling cartoonist without a drink. But as i sat there, a very attractive young lady came over to me and said those words that all us egotistical bastard who draw(hopefully) funny piccies for a living want to hear..."Excuse me, but are you Tim Leatherbarrow?"
In response to this welcome inquiry, a small tsunami of smugness swept over me, and i raised a nonchalent eyebrow, that Roger Moore would've been in awe of ,in any opening of an episode of the saint. I could almost hear the music, and took it for granted there was a halo over my head. She told me she read my blog and enjoyed it,( going well, so far!) Then...." I recognised your face from the caricatures you've done of yourself. The eyebrow dropped dragging the other one with it ,to a point midway down my nose, yes ,i know thats a long way for an eyebrow to drop. This movement caused a suave smug Simon Templar to become Urko, the bad tempered gorilla general off Planet of the apes. And the halo dropped over my head and tightened around my neck.
But i managed ,by sheer force of will to haul my deep frowning eyebrows back over my eyeballs and once again those sparkling blue Leatherbarrow eyes beamed out on the world again. So, this lady had recognised my twisted, distorted, ugly, monsterous caricatures i did of myself . So the question must be asked am i twisted, distorted and monsterously ugly, or am i an excellent caricaturist? I'll let you decide.(loud bang, as Tim shoots himself in foot!) I know, joking aside ,what you all think ,,Yesss! ...Thats it i'm a wonderful caricaturist.
Every silver lining has a cloud, or something like that ,but this has been an excuse to put some of those excellent caricatures on display again, "You lucky people!"

WHOSE THE CLOWNS,THE FELLAHS WITH THE BIG RED NOSES AT ZIPPO'S CIRCUS, OR THE FELLAHS WITH THE BIG ROLL OF RED TAPE AT BIRMINGHAM CITY COUNCIL?

Red tape strikes again!..Clowns at Zippo's circus in the fine city of Birmingham have been banned from playing their trumpets live ,under the clown playing trumpets live act, without a license, of 1602(4.15 p.m, Tuesday afternoon,sometime in March). Enforced by those fine folk in Brum city council, in the Department of stopping strangely dressed entertainers playing instruments live without a license.(The DOSSDEPILWAL). Keep up the good work ,chap n' chapesses, we'd be lost without you. My god ,imagine how the world would be if clowns were allowed to roam free around circus rings blowing unlicensed trumpets to unsuspecting families. If they knew the truth they wouldnt be laughing and enjoying themselves..It'd be the beginning of the end..ARMAGEDDON!!!

Mind you, it's not all bad. This has given me a chance to use a cartoon about trumpets i've had lying around the floor of the studio, 'for a while'. There's no clowns or city councillors, or red tape in it, but there is a trumpet ,or a likeness of a trumpet, so it'll have to do......Oh c'mon do you know what its like to have to draw something for every comment i want to make. Just making life a little easier for myself, but still bringing happiness, joy ,knowledge and wisdom to the world. I can do no more.