IS IT U.S. OR T.H.E.M.....FRIENDLY FIRE,COWBOYS, TRUMPS APPLE PIE N' LAND OF THE FREE

Ahhh our cousins across the pond !.....Americans , or as we affectionatly refer to them 'The Yanks !'

They are an odd bunch . Relatively speaking only a few years ago a huge lump of land virtually covering one side of the planet Earth was discovered. It was over the far side , the back side ,the arse end of the planet ,if you like and as its turned out it's just as well. Millions of years ago the Earths land mass wass virtually that!....one huge land mass, we were all loving neighbours, borrowing animal skins and dinosaur recipes from each other.

Geological forces being what they are caused earthquakes and faults as the ill fitting land mass fidgetted and squirmed like a partner sharing your bed and like many partners started to drift apart and the bit that became north and south America inch by inch ground across to the other side of the planet leaving a huge 'pond' in it's wake the awesome Atlantic ocean.

For much of the time it was occupied by buffaloes and grizzly bears with a few rattle snakes thrown in and the Indians , or in these enlightened times the NATIVE AMERICANS,which is ironic as they are treated as a totally alien race. The irony is ironic as the yanks really do not have a sense of irony.

The problem started as everybody on the planet who was pissed off with their shitty lot in life were encouraged to seek their fortune in the open land of the free , then way out west gold was discovered and everybody ploughed west to seek their fortune. Facing it has to be said terrible hardships and suffering and as every schoolboy knows indian fights and the 6th cavalry coming to save the settlers ,who as every good settler learned ....Had their wagon train in a circle !

This is what became American history ...THE WILD WEST. Where uneducated dirt farmers ,outlaws ,gamblers ,killers, etc lived in poverty in the shanty towns like ,TOMBSTONE,DEADWOOD, DODGE CITY ,etc...Says it all really....Lots of not so much historical fact as legends built up all just waiting for the invention of film a few years later. They had nothing really to film about so the cowboy was created and the cowboy became the the American psyche , to this day.

Like the famous 6th cavalry storming over the hills to fight off the nasty indians the Americans are the 6th cavalry. I might be wrong , but their first attempt at 'WAR' Outside the American war of independance when , basically all they had to do was fend of a relatively small body of men who'd sailed for months to man small garrissons about the place, by dirty fighting ....Spilling our tea supplies into the sea !!!!!????.....Aw c'mon !.....Then it took over 10 years and we were fighting in colonies all round the place....Their first attempt at a real war was jumping in half way through the first world war and we had to supply rifles.
The next time was 'The big 'un!' ...Round 2 ! WORLD WAR 2.
Funnily enough they weren't happy about jumping in that one either, but the cowboys over the pond , aside from being tough ,hard drinking hombres ,are hard nosed business men and quite happy to enjoy the increase in work and labour after their depression when we Brits needed their help and they did for a hefty price, happy days in good ol u.s. of A !
Then one sunny morning those nasty Japs bombed an American base in a place nobody'd heard of , PEARL HARBOUR !
Well!....."Godamn it too hell !....Those 'sons o' bitches.....!" and the good ol US of A joined in to fight for 'TRUTH ,JUSTICE N' THE AMERICAN(ooops!....That was later!) WAY!....Only 3 years late , but the numbers tilted the scales. Generals with jodpers and cowboy holsters with pearl handled revolvers leading the charge....Definitley military quantity over military quality !....And more important HOLLYWOOD got an endless supply of films to keep 'em going for years and it had to as this was the nearest the American military ever got to a victory !...Actually if the Japs'd 've attacked Australia and NewZealand they'd've won, we wouldn't have had our cousins in 'it' with us, quite simply we would've gotten battered .
In the years after they charged into Korea , Vietnam and recently into the middle East in the rather vague 'WAR AGAINST TERROR'....Hasn't done the world much good, esspecially us ,their allies who they very kindly blow us to bits with their affectionattly dubbed FRIENDLY FIRE' !??? ,but lots of action heroes have made the American soldiers in to pumped up , snarling ,cigar chomping navy seals, who're 'dead'ard!' as the yanks hate us as our special forces the S.A.S. are better than theirs ,so STALLONE, ARNIE, etc make films about special force ,'black ops' rescuing prisoners kept in these sites of defeat !
Money is the fuel that powers the land of the yank. Fair enough ,it is everywhere ,but not to the extent it does there. Politicians aren't there for their policies its the money and funds they have. Which has an effect on the quality of people running the self styled most powerful nation on earth! The beloved Kennedys made their money as gangsters ,bootlegging....And one their days off , filled their boots with famous sexy film stars. Nixon, a gifted politician ,which meant he was bent n' twisted ,bugging everybody ,breaking just a few laws; Carter ,a peanut farmer who i think was related to the Waltons in the little house on the prairey ,eating a diet of 'mom's apple pie!' ; Ford, who must've had money as he had no brain; Reagan ,a senile ex hollywood actor ; Clinton ,who blew his saxaphone while his secratary blew his horn: Bush ,who couldnt string a sentence together ,but managed to  put them n' us into war all over the Middle East.....And the TRUMPMEISTER !.....The richest , most extreme person to rule , crazy enough to be the ideal American president !

ONLY PRESIDENT FOR A FEW DAYS AND TERESA MAY FIRES A TRIDENT MISSLE AT 'OUR CUZN'S ACROSS THE POND! :...TIM LEATHERBARROW

DONALD TRUMP RAISING 'THE WIG' !

Ah well its happened! A certain MR DONALD TRUMP, A multi billion, trillion quinti- squillionaire of the parish of Manhatten New York has gone from being possibly the richest most powerful man in the U.S.A. to being .....The richest most powerful man ...In the U.S.A. Only the President, but wether the president is the most powerful man in the states is debateable, he's the face that gets to shake hands around the world, don't know if he actually does anything, rather like our prime minister, as we all know who do fuck all . Any politician would know the best place to be is 'IN OPPOSITION!', as on the other powerless side of the house ,you don't actually have to do anything just slag off everything the goverment haven't done, but are proposing to do, the trouble starts if you get voted in.

JEREMY CORBYN

It is for this reason that the LABOUR PARTY have as their leader a dedicated ,but totally useless waste of time as party leader OL RED JEZZA CORBYN....Who has lots to say, but nothing to do  and hasn't a chance of leading the party to leave the opposition benches into the goverment seats which, i would imagine makes many of the bone idle ,lazy, exspense fiddling responsibility- phobic M.P's of the opposition LABOUR seats more than happy

The goverment  have had a busy year having the BREXIT VOTE and  the majority voted to leave our 'friends?' in Europe...We live in a democracy and the basic premiss of that is we vote for 'whatever' and who ever gets the most votes wins, it was voted to leave the EU, but the losing minority aren't happy with this as , apparently all those who voted to leave are scrounging rascists from 'Up North!'.....I don't pretend to understand the 'ins n' outs' of it all, but the vote was passed and as far as my simple naive political mind is concerned 'thats it!

Over the pond the same sort of thing has happened. The vote for the presidential election  took place and DONALD, gawd bless him won. But he won in the home of democracy and 'moms apple pie' as the yanks like to think of their home , but those who were fairly beaten demonstrated and  voiced their disagreement of the election process that runs the country.....Personnally i think its not the new president thats nuts ,but the population when i watched 11-year old girl guides blasting away with automatic rifles.

"OK, TERESA. I GET YOU DONT WANT ME AS PRESIDENT, BUT ISN'T FIRING A TRIDENT MISSILE AT ME A BIT OVER THE TOP????"

Theres worried talk about the breakup of the EU and TRUMP being less than a fan of NATO, so the RUSSIANS are happy with the possible break up of those two  exclusive clubs. Will the cold war 'heat up' again?....Will the arms race start up again? The British wont be caught out , thats for sure so to show we don't take shit off anyone ,even our close allies and cousins we fired a TRIDENT MISSILE at the UNITED STATES....Trump wants America to be great, but TERESA MAY  might be  kickstarting THE BRITISH EMPIRE again ,i'm expecting my call up papers any day soon.....

THAT WAS LIVERPOOL FOOTBALL CLUB; THAT WAS ANFIELD...GOD BLESS AMERICA! AND OUR AMERICAN COUSINS!!

Once upon a time footy clubs had normal people who trained and played for the club and took their orders from the bobble hatted manager in the (even) cheaper track suit than the players wore. There was a club chairman ,but he watched a few games ,but mainly had access to the club bar. And the whole thing revolved quite simply around the football. All VICTOR, HOTSPUR and ROY OF THE ROVERS stuff. The fans went out with their mates and kids . Bought a few bags of chips ,or a meat pie and had a couple of pints. Crammed into the stands with their rattles and if you werent careful, you got your pocket pee'ed into from the fellah behind. I dont think any women ever tried peeing in somebodies pocket. But ,who knows ,stranger things've happened. Remember the days of rattles, stripey scarves n' bobble hats, funny haircuts, tight shorts,leather caseballs and mudbath pitches.

Now the football is total business.Plastic grass, plastic balloon balls, Players suddenly pink and silver boots and handled by agents, p.a's and p.r. people. Football became almost showbiz. Players moved around for the best price so quickly and often ,it was almost as if they were on tour. Fixed squads beloved of the fans ,going through the highs and lows of the clubs history became a thing of the past. The satellite telly people upped the ante, and the money went even further through the roof. Now we all know the monsterously overpaid gobshites whose names we can only pronounce with lots of practise, and then when we can, they're probably moving on to another club and even better wage . The players arent around long enough to form a tightly knit squad and become responsible for a clubs performance. So now the manager, the man who was once 'The boss', and is now only sometimes referred to as that in post match interviews. He is now the the scapegoat for the club losing a few games and is out on his arse before he's had a chance to wet his sponge in the club bucket(like they used to.). Because today is the day of the club owners. These Multi Squillionaires, from all over ,China,Middle East, India, Russia and sadly the'Good ol' us of A'. who for some reason want to spend money on something to play with, like a major footy team, to help pass their boring wheeler dealer days.

I remember a great team called LIVERPOOL FOOTBALL TEAM. As you walked down the tunnel to the pitch was a club LIVER BIRD logo, which said, simply, not welcome to...But,"THIS IS ANFIELD".....This once great club is a prime example of a national institution, almost screwed over by the money men.American Money men for their ,purely financial reasons ,giving promises about what they will do for this "Great British club and their fans.."And hated with an unbelievable intensity, they still will not leave after going back on virtually every promise made. LIVERPOOL F.C. is ,apparently ,a mess in the bank and on the pitch, all due to our beloved AMERICAN COUSINS..."GOD BLESS AMERICA!"..'Cos LIVERPOOL wont!

GOD BLESS THE OLD RED, WHITE N' BALLY HOO !

As i mentioned a lifetime, or so it seems ago during that interminable debacle the Americans call the Presidential elections. I mentioned that i'd rather sit and hack my leg off than sit and watch the various primaries on the telly as it would be less painful. I was watching a little of the inaugeration ceremony last night and the same urge to hack a limb off overcame me. The ,"God bless America and the rest of the Red ,white n' Blue,bally hoo n' bullshit sort of ooozed from the screen. My leg was only saved at the last moment by a change of channel to the relative sanity of The Simpsons.

The new boy in the most powerful padded seat in the world is Barrack O'Barnpot, the first Afro-American, and ,apparently Irish president of the U.S of A. Celebrations exploded all over the place as people overjoyed at this, apparently world changing event took place. I've nothing against the fellah. He is just another American politician whose bullshitted his way into the 'Big Job' like politicians everywhere. The difference is the American politicians have more self interest and a lot of power to help their interests and schemes along and boost that power up even more. In fact they make our bunch of scheming fiddling arseholes look like innocent schoolboys who haven't a clue.

I thought it a little odd that on his first day ,he cancelled a pile of terrorist trials for crimes including 9/11. The finances of the country ,etc are turning to shit and he helps a few terrorists out, but i'm not a politician so what do i know.

When Good ol' George Dubya,was inaugerated into the job there was no celebrations and parties to celebrate the first naturally stupid fuckin' idiot to become president. I can't remember celebrations for the first senile movie star to become president when Reagan became president. I'll celebrate when Homer Simpson becomes the first yellow president. And i admire his policies, they don't make any sense ,but like all politicians policies and promises they'll be somehow forgotten and bunged to the bottom of the pile when they get their foot through the door . It doesn't matter about race colour creed, they're all tossers and gobshites...They are politicians !