IS IT U.S. OR T.H.E.M.....FRIENDLY FIRE,COWBOYS, TRUMPS APPLE PIE N' LAND OF THE FREE

Ahhh our cousins across the pond !.....Americans , or as we affectionatly refer to them 'The Yanks !'

They are an odd bunch . Relatively speaking only a few years ago a huge lump of land virtually covering one side of the planet Earth was discovered. It was over the far side , the back side ,the arse end of the planet ,if you like and as its turned out it's just as well. Millions of years ago the Earths land mass wass virtually that!....one huge land mass, we were all loving neighbours, borrowing animal skins and dinosaur recipes from each other.

Geological forces being what they are caused earthquakes and faults as the ill fitting land mass fidgetted and squirmed like a partner sharing your bed and like many partners started to drift apart and the bit that became north and south America inch by inch ground across to the other side of the planet leaving a huge 'pond' in it's wake the awesome Atlantic ocean.

For much of the time it was occupied by buffaloes and grizzly bears with a few rattle snakes thrown in and the Indians , or in these enlightened times the NATIVE AMERICANS,which is ironic as they are treated as a totally alien race. The irony is ironic as the yanks really do not have a sense of irony.

The problem started as everybody on the planet who was pissed off with their shitty lot in life were encouraged to seek their fortune in the open land of the free , then way out west gold was discovered and everybody ploughed west to seek their fortune. Facing it has to be said terrible hardships and suffering and as every schoolboy knows indian fights and the 6th cavalry coming to save the settlers ,who as every good settler learned ....Had their wagon train in a circle !

This is what became American history ...THE WILD WEST. Where uneducated dirt farmers ,outlaws ,gamblers ,killers, etc lived in poverty in the shanty towns like ,TOMBSTONE,DEADWOOD, DODGE CITY ,etc...Says it all really....Lots of not so much historical fact as legends built up all just waiting for the invention of film a few years later. They had nothing really to film about so the cowboy was created and the cowboy became the the American psyche , to this day.

Like the famous 6th cavalry storming over the hills to fight off the nasty indians the Americans are the 6th cavalry. I might be wrong , but their first attempt at 'WAR' Outside the American war of independance when , basically all they had to do was fend of a relatively small body of men who'd sailed for months to man small garrissons about the place, by dirty fighting ....Spilling our tea supplies into the sea !!!!!????.....Aw c'mon !.....Then it took over 10 years and we were fighting in colonies all round the place....Their first attempt at a real war was jumping in half way through the first world war and we had to supply rifles.
The next time was 'The big 'un!' ...Round 2 ! WORLD WAR 2.
Funnily enough they weren't happy about jumping in that one either, but the cowboys over the pond , aside from being tough ,hard drinking hombres ,are hard nosed business men and quite happy to enjoy the increase in work and labour after their depression when we Brits needed their help and they did for a hefty price, happy days in good ol u.s. of A !
Then one sunny morning those nasty Japs bombed an American base in a place nobody'd heard of , PEARL HARBOUR !
Well!....."Godamn it too hell !....Those 'sons o' bitches.....!" and the good ol US of A joined in to fight for 'TRUTH ,JUSTICE N' THE AMERICAN(ooops!....That was later!) WAY!....Only 3 years late , but the numbers tilted the scales. Generals with jodpers and cowboy holsters with pearl handled revolvers leading the charge....Definitley military quantity over military quality !....And more important HOLLYWOOD got an endless supply of films to keep 'em going for years and it had to as this was the nearest the American military ever got to a victory !...Actually if the Japs'd 've attacked Australia and NewZealand they'd've won, we wouldn't have had our cousins in 'it' with us, quite simply we would've gotten battered .
In the years after they charged into Korea , Vietnam and recently into the middle East in the rather vague 'WAR AGAINST TERROR'....Hasn't done the world much good, esspecially us ,their allies who they very kindly blow us to bits with their affectionattly dubbed FRIENDLY FIRE' !??? ,but lots of action heroes have made the American soldiers in to pumped up , snarling ,cigar chomping navy seals, who're 'dead'ard!' as the yanks hate us as our special forces the S.A.S. are better than theirs ,so STALLONE, ARNIE, etc make films about special force ,'black ops' rescuing prisoners kept in these sites of defeat !
Money is the fuel that powers the land of the yank. Fair enough ,it is everywhere ,but not to the extent it does there. Politicians aren't there for their policies its the money and funds they have. Which has an effect on the quality of people running the self styled most powerful nation on earth! The beloved Kennedys made their money as gangsters ,bootlegging....And one their days off , filled their boots with famous sexy film stars. Nixon, a gifted politician ,which meant he was bent n' twisted ,bugging everybody ,breaking just a few laws; Carter ,a peanut farmer who i think was related to the Waltons in the little house on the prairey ,eating a diet of 'mom's apple pie!' ; Ford, who must've had money as he had no brain; Reagan ,a senile ex hollywood actor ; Clinton ,who blew his saxaphone while his secratary blew his horn: Bush ,who couldnt string a sentence together ,but managed to  put them n' us into war all over the Middle East.....And the TRUMPMEISTER !.....The richest , most extreme person to rule , crazy enough to be the ideal American president !

EXCUSE ME !...BUT WHAT IGNORANT GET SAID GOOD MANNERS COST NOTHING, AND POLITNESS DOESNT HURT?

This very morning something on the telly made reference to a newspaper article about ,how good manners and politness is in a sharp decline. I absolutly refute this 'nothing else to stick on the page, so we'll put this on to get a mention on the telly news programmes less serious moments story- headline.'.....As someone who always holds the door open for people and who will give up my seat for the old ,needy and extreemly sexy. I know its not the good manners and politness thats on the decline, but the polite response from the increasingly ignorant shower to whom i hold the doors open to and give up my ,by now warmed up seat.

I go into town shopping ,for my sins ,with the Lovely Lynne(not sins with the Lovely Lynne ,the shopping, sadly.) When i'm entering or leaving a shop, i'll hold the door open if theres somebody nearby. If i'm lucky i'll get a barely responsive grunt from the recipient of my well-meaning action. But ,not often. What often happens ,people speed up to take advantage of the open door ,and often whole families pile through ,mum, dad ,kids ,bloody prams, the lot .Nobody would consider pressing their hand against the door to hold it open for themselves or their brood. So yours truly ,grinding his teeth, but too polite to say anything stands there like a bloody idiot as a queue starts to stretch across the concourse waiting to be allowed through the door. As they stomp past ,most dont even give a sideways glance as i give filthy disbelieving looks in all directions at the ignorant shower of bastards who're walking past me ,who've walked past me and yet to walk past me.

The other fun-packed way of passing a few moments is to give up your seat to somebody on a train or bus. I've stood to let some old dear or a pregnant woman, or whoever sit, and ,on the whole get a guarded response. But quite often someone else will pile past slamming their shoulder into me or their palm into my face knocking me back like a foreward fending off a tackle in the Rugby 6 nations championships. Then ,once they've parked their fat ignorant stupid arse on the seat that i've kindly warmed for them. Not a word is uttered to me ,or the person to whom i'd originally intended the seat for. They sit gazing with a fixed glassy stare straight ahead, totally oblivious to anything you may have to say to them.

So whoever said good manners doesnt cost anything and politness doesnt hurt....Except for the battering to your ego and confidence by being ignored; The ruination of your day as you try and hold in your temper; And your growing dissappointment in people, except for that ,they may well have a point.

GOD BLESS THE OLD RED, WHITE N' BALLY HOO !

As i mentioned a lifetime, or so it seems ago during that interminable debacle the Americans call the Presidential elections. I mentioned that i'd rather sit and hack my leg off than sit and watch the various primaries on the telly as it would be less painful. I was watching a little of the inaugeration ceremony last night and the same urge to hack a limb off overcame me. The ,"God bless America and the rest of the Red ,white n' Blue,bally hoo n' bullshit sort of ooozed from the screen. My leg was only saved at the last moment by a change of channel to the relative sanity of The Simpsons.

The new boy in the most powerful padded seat in the world is Barrack O'Barnpot, the first Afro-American, and ,apparently Irish president of the U.S of A. Celebrations exploded all over the place as people overjoyed at this, apparently world changing event took place. I've nothing against the fellah. He is just another American politician whose bullshitted his way into the 'Big Job' like politicians everywhere. The difference is the American politicians have more self interest and a lot of power to help their interests and schemes along and boost that power up even more. In fact they make our bunch of scheming fiddling arseholes look like innocent schoolboys who haven't a clue.

I thought it a little odd that on his first day ,he cancelled a pile of terrorist trials for crimes including 9/11. The finances of the country ,etc are turning to shit and he helps a few terrorists out, but i'm not a politician so what do i know.

When Good ol' George Dubya,was inaugerated into the job there was no celebrations and parties to celebrate the first naturally stupid fuckin' idiot to become president. I can't remember celebrations for the first senile movie star to become president when Reagan became president. I'll celebrate when Homer Simpson becomes the first yellow president. And i admire his policies, they don't make any sense ,but like all politicians policies and promises they'll be somehow forgotten and bunged to the bottom of the pile when they get their foot through the door . It doesn't matter about race colour creed, they're all tossers and gobshites...They are politicians !