Friday, 3 December 2010


When they said the 'heavy guns of DAVID CAMEROON(mispelt intentionally), PRINCE WILLIAM, and our lord n' leader DAVID BECKHAM were going to front our bid for hosting the world cup the response was varied. Accordind to the 'MEEJAH' it was a "cor ,wow!" from the Great British public; The Great British public, it was more of a "Oh great!"; And to all those Johnny Foreigner sorts , it was a "Who?"

The Russians had the right idea. Their political leader stayed at home, only turning up for the celebration party. Our deadbeat arse'ole of a primeminister The Great CAMEROON latched on and made sure that his greasy smiling and expensively coached camera face was on display all the time. England was promised votes and only got 2 , and one was one of our own. Actually thats a point. Why didnt the rest of our team vote?
The result was like a EUROVISION SONG CONTEST result. Maybe we should've had the 'TOGMEISTER', TERRY WOGAN himself to host our bid. But RUSSIA the biggest country in the world ,totally run by the RUSSIAN MAFIA winning, hmmmmm, who'd o' thort?

I'm sure our 'hard sell' was very good , all about our wonderful infra structure as long as it doesnt snow or rain heavily, etc, etc. What they should've pointed out to everybody was the savings to all the international squads having the games in England. Because all the international players are playing in England. So the players would all jump into their FERRARRI'S and meet up with their national team mates from around the country at a coach station , or drive straight to the ground their qualifying round was being played at. Squads neednt worry too much about hotels , as the players could go home for dinner and an early night. Flying the squads around the world wouldnt be a problem ,just the coach and his suitcase for the whole world cup.

But the dream is over , we've saved /lost billions depending if your for or against. But it cost us millions to be humiliated , so our boys can drink and deal in Zurich for a week.

DAVID BECKHAM, as it turns out seems to be a decent friendly intelligent bloke when he's interviewed on chatshows. But for some reason when players give interviews about football. The brain is totally disconnected and its the usual cliche ridden bullshit they all spout, intersperced every second word with my favourite, "AT THE END OF THE DAY!"....As if this endows whatever inane crap they're spouting with a deep philosohical profundity. David, gawd bless 'im, was being interviewed after the 'disaster', and 'the end of the day' got a real hammering.

So, thats that ! The players will be playing at -50 degrees, then 4 years later in Quattar +50 degrees. I dont think our freezer is that cold ,or our oven that hot.


Thud said...

Te kleptomaniacs that masquerade as fifa don't deserve the steam of the collective piss of our doughty chaps...fuck em!

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

You should get your lads ,skilleed in the arts of 'doin' up ' old buildings ,etc...Fix up Tranmeres ground and we'll form a splinter group and hold the world cup there.
What do you think?

Thud said...

There is a handy builders yard next to the ground and I think the lads and I could bodge up a world class ground in no time.

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

And i'll get me sister n' the missus to get some good ol' British match day pies and a few ol' traditional stripey scarves, bobble hats and even a few rattles ,better than those African horns.....Can you feel the building excitment in the air, 1966 all over again.