Thursday 1 March 2012

DOGS ,MANS BEST FRIEND???? IF MY BEST MATE SHIT ON THE FLOOR I WOULDNT PICK IT UP!

If i put my coat on; walk in the room where my coat is; If i say the word 'walk', the dog goes absolutly apeshit and is teararsing round the house and jumping all over me and trying to get mouthfuls of the back of my jacket and the sleeves in the excitment at the prospect of 'going out'!...The toal joy and excitment is infectious and i can't help laughing as i'm diving around the place like people chasing chickens in an attempt to put his lead and collar on. I am always amazed how he's not totally 'shagged out' by the time we get outside ,cos i know i bloody am.
Its of constant fascination to me how much the little sod can pee.....I reckon he could refloat that grounded cruiseship with the fluids he pumps out in a 10 minute walk in the woods. These days being a good respectable member of the community and terrified of my missus who has ordered me to utilise those very odd inventions ...POO_BAGS!!! If the little sod has one of his many bowel movements in an open area or path i do my stomach curdling task, when you feel that warm soft feeling through this frighteningly thin feeling layer of plastic. When he's racing about chasing squirrels or sniffing things n stuff, he dissappears into the undergrowth and does whatever his little insides want out of the sight of man and dog warden so thats poo-bag free poo's which is fine by me....
If i was coming back from the boozer with my best friend and he wanted a 'movement' he'll have to go into the bushes 'cos i'm not using a Bezzy-Mate pooper scooper for the movement of 14 pints of Guiness and a chicken n' chips for anyone.

23 comments:

Vinogirl said...

Is this really what your dog looks like? I love cartoons of dogs.

Luna May said...

Nah!...He's a scruffy , incredibly stupid West Highland terrier, none of the sleek fine lines of the fine pooch portrayed.

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