THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY STATES HOW TIME WITH RELATIVES DISTORTS SPACE AND SLOWS TIME!!!!!!!

At last this damn ,dashed ,durned flamin' computer has for some unexplained reason suddenly recovered from the sudden unexplained problems which stopped me flooding the internet with my wit n' wisdom and general bullshit. At last i can put my picture of old ALBERT EINSTEIN  up. He was a clever ol' devil putting foreward theories about space ,time ,spacetime ,light and the speed of those little PHOTONS etc, etc......Actually old Albert didn't intend ,in the beginning to delve into all those physics type stuff ....What he discovered was the effect that visiting or being visited by family and relatives has upon time and space within your universe.

All life is relatively normal that is until CHRISTMAS comes around, esspecially. Your home or the home you go to takes you out of your zone of relative normality to a place where space becomes distorted and shrinks.  Whereas,normally expanding your personal space you sprawl on the floor or couch in your own normal universe,but you are forced to sit upright on a settee sharing wih other uncomfortable unmoving figures. The lack of space multiplied by the lack of access to the television remote (squared) causes time to stretch as space contracts. This can cause 3 days to feel like it has become a fortnight as can be felt by the stiff hips and aching back as the body is affected by this relativistically distorted universe.

E=%$***£&C(SQUARED)........THE THEORY OF RELATIVES