THE NEXT VERSION OF 'THE PLANET OF THE APES ' COULD BE ON CROSBY BEACH ON THE BANKS OF LIVERPOOLS OWN RIVER MERSEY!

The other day we had a wander in

The other day we had a family day in the scorching sunshine to go to CROSBY BEACH where the MERSEY MUD , meets the IRISH SEA SILT. It is actually a lovely bit of beach .....Famed for the ANTHONY GORMLEY cast iron men ,all 100 of them standing naked gazing out to sea.....They were only recently allowed to stay after complaints of nudity and danger from luring people into the soft mud.

The beach stretched off around a headland and i kept thinking of the finale of 'PLANET OF THE APES' ,where CHARLTON HESTON, as the stranded ,so he thought astronaut ,TAYLOR, finds he's not on an alien planet ,but on the remains of the good old planet EARTH, the give away was he tripped over the remains of the STATUE OF LIBERTY...Always a giveaway......I had visions of tripping across the LIVER BIRDS sticking out of the sand......I did my "GODDAMN YOU ALL TO HELL ,YOU BLEW IT UP....ETC ,ETC,!!!"oratorio on my knees in the sand,  But the lovely Lynne wasn't too impressed with my oscar winning performance, just no appreciation of the finer things these women folks, i guess. So we packed up and went for a pint and a steak in a pub ,well i s'pose it makes a change from bananas on 'THE PLANET OF THE APES!'

I'D'VE PREFERRED A FIRING SQUAD, BUT A HUNG PARLIMENT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA!

Oh let joy be unrestrained its been announced that in a months time we'll all race breathlessly down to church halls and schoolgyms all across the land to put a tick in a box to help decide which bunch of slimey shitheads are going to screw us up for the next bunch of years.A bunch of years which, will be much the same, if not seperated at birth as the last bunch of years . The new set of earnest ,yet sincere faces to most of us will seem exactly he same as the last lot. But to the expert perceptive eye The differences will be more than apparent. As most animal experts their specialist breed of animals do attain a character and personality of their own and become familiar over a period of time and keen observation ,say of apes in the rain forests. Politicians, they are a breed of creature. Instead of fur ,scales or rough hides , they have posh suits and quaffered hair. And it will take a perceptive eye to spot the differences.And a keen understanding to discern any personality ,your better off with the apes!...

.A hung parliaments ok ,but surely we can find a more diabolical way of making them suffer. Firing squads ,flame throwers , clubs with sharp bits sticking out ,pits of venomous snakes, Locked in a room with endless opposition party political broadcasts playing on a giant screen at deafening volume ,or just anything with Tony Blair speaking sincerly.

This piccie was another used by those nice people at HA!...They have a sharp eye for talent ,as ever have a look at the link on the right of the page, at the top it says HA! you can't miss it.