LEWIS COLLINS....R.I.P......BIG BAD BODIE'S FINALLY WRAPPED IN A BODIE BAG!

The rough ,gruff scotsman COWLEY, who some of the angels at the bar in Heaven thought looked like that famous scottish actor from films and 'UPSTAIRS ,DOWNSTAIRS!'.....GORDON JACKSON ordered "Another large malt!" and proceeded to guzzle it down after hobbling over to his table . He was clearly troubled by a bad leg, but got down to the 'paperwork'....He was head of C.I.5....'The big boys!'; The'Heavy mob!'; The 'Hard men' of criminal intelligence. On Earth in his life he fought criminal,spies and terrorists ,but in Heaven the Devils minions from 'Down there!' were the problem.

When he was alive he had two men who were so good and hard and tough ,even though they were only actors they were what he needed. They were called 'BODIE and DOYLE!' .....Doyle played by MARTIN SHAW was a thespian and was ok, but was the sensitive character to LEWIS COLLIN'S....BODIE! Lewis Collins born and brought up around Merseysides posh part ,on the Wirral ,playing in the MOJO'S during the later Mersey beat times.  He started acting and played in bits and pieces and ,ironically considering his 'hard man' character of later years was a dab hand at comedy.

SHAW and COLLINS were spotted in the terrible 'NEW AVENGERS' and were remembered when the PROFFESSIONALS was put foreward....Lots of kicking in of doors ,gunfights and all kind of fights were crammed into each episode ,with lots of naughties ,SHAW was often 'in love!', but BODIE was 'a lad!'.....Always in big collared jackets ,flared pants looking dapper n' smart ,well for the 80's ?????....They both had a terrible sense of direction because whenever they got an emergency call ,it was always when they were going in the wrong direction ,thus entailing a handbrake turn. 

I always liked COLLINS ,although he fancied himself as a 'hard ,mans man', which caused tensions during the early days of filming between the two leads ,there was, i always thought , a good bit of scouse tongue in cheek.....A favourite moment was when BODIE thought he was being followed and swung the car to a screeching halt with the usual handbrake turn. He leapt out of the car vaulted the bonnet ,another staple of the series, and pulled his gun waiting for his pursuers, who never showed ...He'd been mistaken. But a line of shoked people stood at the bus stop gave him a rousing 'round of applause', he gave a wry smile and a slight appreciative nod!

After the series finished ,after the S.A.S. and the IRANIAN EMBASSY SIEGE ,the 'latest thing' was the S.A.S. And Collins leapt in for his first stint as a special forces daredevil sort in 'WHO DARES WINS!'...Not a classic, but 'good fun, as were most of his tough guy B-film type stuff ,after ,although he acted with some well known faces. He even ,actually tried for the S.A.S. But ,apparently was knocked back ,as his face was to 'well known'....Cubbt Broccolli knocked him back for BOND as he was too 'aggressive'..That could've been interesting, but 'ah well!'

But Cowley smiled as he heard the car crashed through the pearly gates and gunfire followed....."Och!,..Bodie where the hell have you been ,i need a good man!"....."Sorry ,sir i've been living it up in Los Angeles and fighting cancer for 5 years!.."......"Och ! enough of that we''ve work t'do!.....Another two malts over here, bar angel!"

THE NAMES LEATHERBARROW TIM LEATHERBARROW....AND DEAD EXCITED 'COS BOND JAMES BOND IS BACK!

 It's shameful being a 52 year old husband n' father sitting trying to stifle the building schoolboy -like excitment that s building within my my (only slightly ptotruding)middle aged belly.....And what is this excitment that has gripped me ,well quite simply ...JAMES BOND IS BACK The new film SKYFALL is out in almost days...THE LOVELY LYNNE is slobbering at the prospect of that DANIEL CRAIG flaunting his manlyness around the screen ,whereas i'm looking foreward to the more cerebral aspects to the film, story ,characters and most important of all the extreme violence that Craig has put into the fights . There is an aspect of this that i'm worried about .CASINO ROYALE wasn't 'that' bad for it ...QUANTUM OF SOLACE was terrible for it and i'm praying that SKYFALL will not suffer from it...The 'IT' in question is the high speed ,hand held ,badly edited blur that all action sequences in films over the last number of years are full of. QUANTUM was a blur. To this day i still can't make hide nor hair of the opening car chase. The rooftop chase could've been a cinematic masterpeice, but was to fast and cluttered to follow, etc, etc.

 

Just recently SKY have been reshowing the BOND  films and i've been catching up. SEAN CONNERY  has filled my last week and he's still good ,i didn't take to him for a long time ,not because of his BOND ,but i just didn't like him for some reason...A great BOND  ,but for a long time i just didn't like him!....He had some great 'PROPERLY FILMED' action sequences and fights ,remember ROBERT SHAW in FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE on the train and  virtually every film he made ,i quite like where he beats the shit out of two blokes in a lift in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER. They were the classic BONDS without a doubt .

 

I watched GEORGE LAZENBY in ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE yesterday and it's a great film and i didn't mind poor George . He was great in the violent bits ,some really good fights and ,EMMA PEEL , as was DIANA RIGG ,who described him as "A shit!" on a recent interview and was supposed to have scoffed garlic for the love scenes. LAZENBYS agent advised him not to take the offer of more Bond films, ah where'd we be without people to advise us.

I'd grown up loving ROGER MOORE in THE SAINT....And was chuffed when he became Bond in LIVE AND LET DIE. I have to admit liking his films ,every one says he played it 'tongue in cheek', but when he had to be the mean Bond he did the action and fights and could be mean. I always thought ,like DOCTOR WHO it's not whose best, but because they changed  is what gave them their extended life. MOORE played a few stinkers ,my personal 'stinker' is THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN. From LULU's theme its downhill all the way.

 

TIMOTHY DALTON could've been a good 'un....He was going back to IAN FLEMINGS Bond and THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS isn't bad , the fight on the netting from the back of a HERCULES TRANSPORT PLANE is great....These are the days when stuntmen did it all ,i mean actually did it all! Dalton was tough and mean ,i liked him and problems with film companies meant films didn't get made and Bond was on hold and ol' TIM never got the chance to don the dicky bow again.

 

PIERCE BROSNAN hit with GOLDENEYE, still the skinny little charmer from that gawd awful REMINGTON STEELE...That wasn't a bad film ,good touch putting 008, SEAN BEAN in as his mate then as the baddy. The poster for the next ,'TOMORROW NEVER DIES', shows Brosnan a lot more muscled than before. He wasn't bad and watching them again ,as they were made so well, they're always better than i remembered. The Peirce days finished with an INVISIBLE CAR?....Then they said "We're taking Bond back to basics!"

                                                                                                Then the shit hit the fan and "OH MY GOD! A BLONDE BOND!".....Riots took place in the streets ,websites slagging off poor old DANIEL CRAIG abounded . He arrived at the press conference with the ROYAL MARINES ,but as the Marines did ,he wore a life jacket over his dinner suit..."JAMES BOND WEARING A LIFE JACKET..OH GAWD!...IT GETS WORSE!"...Poor Daniel couldn't win .They forgot even SEAN CONNERY wore crash helmets with his jet pack and LITTLE NELLIE gyrocopter. But the new boy ,blew them away . Daniel Craig is now a national institution beloved by everyone ,esspecially my missus! From the little i've heard SKYFALL is getting good vibes , SIR ROGER MOORE  reckons its the best Bond, ever and Craig is far the best Bond .....God i need a drink...A mug of tea stirred not shaken!