Wednesday, 18 March 2009


The other day as i watched the English rugby squad; smash ,slaughter and destroy the French......Excuse me a moment ......"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!........Right, where wuz i?"........ "Oh yep i remember...HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!...Oh sorry about that i shall make an effort to get to the point starting in the very next paragraph...Honest !....(snigger, chortle , cackle...)

In the middle of the pitch was this huge advert for some bank, but its painted in such a way that it's in perspective to the television cameras over in the stands alongside the pitch. Which i find a little disconcerting it makes the pitch look as if its been tipped up on one side, and the pitch is on a 60 degree slope and the ball and the players should be bouncing and rolling down to the nearside touchline. The only way to reach the far side touchline would be with climbing boots; knotted ropes and crampons. And then theres the crowd around and behind the advert. They would see it at very different angles to the pristine bank advert we television armchair supporters see.( after all it is us that matter.) It would be viewed as a variety of distorted shapes, depending where in the ground you are seated. Also, on occassions the paint comes off the company logo, onto the players .Instead of ,grass,mud and blood colours, as one would expect. There is quite often ;Pinks, blues, oranges and a whole spectrum of corporate logo colours plastered over our Butch boys.

Around the pitch where once the advertising hoardings were in front of the crowd. These days there are a number of parrallel hoardings as they are now digital. And now a whole range of clever animated adverts are displayed,then break up into digital dots to advertise something new then change again, or go back to the beginning. During the England game there was a pork pie advert and part of this consisted of a pork pie travelling the length of the pitch. This caused a fantastically surreal vision of an England winger racing down the wing being overtaken by a digital pork pie zipping along the advertising hoarding.......!

The change of ads ,the break up of the digital dots n' stuff , is according to my sister and wife, who suffer from migraine, the oncoming of an attack is not dissimilar to the effects on the screens. I noticed during a recent trip to London, that a lot of Ads , mainly on the tube are digital /video/liveaction/ whatever?.....20 adverts of the same adonis-like man with his 6,7,or 8pack stomach(bastard) having a shave .This is a very boring image and i find it very irritating, especially as the gorgeous gobshite is smiling at his reflection in the mirror....Nobody smiles when they are shaving!..Shaving is a pain in the arse, even as your shaving the chin and if you do smile, the advertised - crappy8 blade dispossable Zoom blade, or whatever it's called will cut chunks out of your face....The pain is then compounded by throwing the stuff in the advert that is fresh and full of Zing, much like the throwing of concenterated sulphuric acid over the mass of open sore that was once your face. Thats the difference between advertising and real life....Real life is pain...Advertising is just a pain.


Thud said...

Rugby!...reminds me of cold wet days running around west park!

Thud said...

Tim...I wrote to the email on your profile.