Wednesday, 11 August 2010


The other day as i was standing on the train platform awaiting the," delayed due to signalling problems", but arriving five minutes early(?) train to the fair city of Liverpool. I stood calm and relaxed. All bodily functions and levels as 'labelled on the packet'. Until, from nowhere came a girl, obviously 'going into town'. To the keen observer, 'girls going into town can be determined and recognised by the tall hair; short skirt and high heels. The skirt was so tight it had to be a size or so smaller than her skin. This had a not altogether beneficial effect on my aforementioned bodily functions and levels which suddenly 'flew off the scales'....As i'm a happily married middle aged ol' fart.(i can admit to it, just!)... I tried, and failed miserably to avert my cross-eyed gaze and to return my swollen tongue to its lair inside my mouth, from where it had suddenly decided it wanted to reaquaint itself with my chin and nostrils and share spit n' drool. Its a sign your getting old when a part of you on seeing such 'a sight' wonders."Does her father know she goes out like that?"

But as she stood posing and pouting half naked tottering even as she stood still on her 18 inch stilletto platform heeled shoes on the Liverpool side of the track. On the 'other side of the track', which to every scouser is the Manchester line. And the girls stood there going into Manc-land were Middle -eastern and wrapped in various scarves from head to foot.As their religion or culture demanded. They want to keep wrapped up, fine .The Liverpool Lou,slave to the demands of fashion, religion not playing too big a part in it. She wanted to be unwrapped, fine. I dont imagine god was too upset,in either case as some would imagine. As we all know God's a bearded wise old fellah. He designed women to attract men. And unlike most creative artists, given a blank canvas he created the whole universe, it has to be said, that knocks Da-Vinci;MichaelAngelo; VanGogh and Walt Disney(at a push) into a cocked hat.They earned a few bob drawing women and god himself. But he designed and created the original design for women,the MK1 sporty models, as well as the more functional models and designs. Either way women ,without doubt are , i think,in my considered(but not by many)opinion, is one of his best designs, so when the female form is 'shown off', or not,as the case may be, as long as its appreciated he should be rightly proud.
I wonder why he never signed his work.


Thud said...

God bless scouse birds....bloody lovely all of them.I find the burka clad lot a disgrace upon mankind and I do mean MAN kind.Regardless of the cries of free will we all know coercion comes in many guises and burkas are a threat and insult to all women.

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

I'm sayin' nothing!...I could end up with a good fatwah , or a good ol' scouse contract out on me from muslim husbands and scouse boyfriends.

Cathy said...

I used to have a male colleague who was a six-feet-tall-glad-to-be-gay sort of fella. He had long cherished an ambition to go shopping in Birmingham city centre wearing a burqa. Thought it might raise a few eyebrows when he used a public urinal, though.

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

The good unshockable people of 'brum' would probably raised an eyebrow and rolled an eye and muttered something about,"Oh its a friend of Cathy Simpson, me duck!"
nod their heads understandingly and mooched on in their brummie way.
Tim, me duck xx