As i was sitting about my abolutions having a dump ,or however you want to refer a natural relaxing and very neccesary ,but deeply frowned upon and ignored bodily function. It is good for the obvious reasons, but one of them in particular , like every cartoonist ,for some reason their toilet is a miniture library with comics and books piled high in the smallest room and so a great deal of time is spent emptying your lower parts while filling your upper parts with knowledge gleaned from whatever comic i am reading. In the old days of the simple flush where the cistern was up above your head you could yank the handle without having to move and carry on with your bog literary pursuits happily with nothing but a slightly wet bum. What also happened as you sat on the bogseat for up to an hour or so at a time ,you could lose the feeling to your legs ,but attain a bright red ring circling your upper buttocks and the back of your legs that would almost glow in the dark. Another danger was if after years of yanking the wooden handle ,it came off, and the chain unless that had snapped and was replaced by a looped piece of wire which i remember yanking on and the wire cutting into the crease of my palm and fingers. So i sat there on the lav with my hand bleeding over X-MEN issue 42. When ,a fter this i became aware of the dangers inherrant in going to the bog i wondered could i be sucked down by the flush vacumn and living in the NORTHERN HEMISPHERE getting sucked CLOCKWISE down the plug hole....If i was in the SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE, well it would be an ANTI-CLOCKWISE down the Australian plug'ole.
But the time spent sitting improving my mind and toughening my buttocks on the toilet seat where shortened when the toilet cistern was lowered to below shoulder level and the handle was a press one. This entailed actually having to stand and press, so the moment had passed and you may as well wrap up and wait 'till your next visit to see if SPIDERMAN beats DOCTOR OCTOPUS...This lowereing of the flush lever meant that the later generations spent less time on the bog reading and improving their mind then we did in our day, and i propose that is partly the reason the kids of today are as thick as pig shit. Now the press handle has gone replaced by hi-tech button press flushes on the top of the cistern ,one side is a little flush for pee's n' things the other is for heavier cargoes and loads...Keeps breaking tho' ,like all technological advances the cleverer they are the more can go wrong and the cleverer you have to be to fix them. But i'll leave it to you to decide which has had the greatest effect on the development and evolution of the human psyche ,the wheel or the toilet handle?...Bear in mind have you ever read a book riding a bike?