Friday 14 September 2012

LOTS OF NAUGHTY LADIES READING '50 SHADES OF GREY' EXCEPT FOR ONE NOTABLE EXCEPTION!. AND ONE SHADE OF SUNBURN RED!..


 

 
 
A few weeks ago we were over in ITALY by a lovely lake surrounded by impressive mountains. The lake was where the the opening JAMES BOND car chase in 'QUANTUM OF SOLACE' took place. Apparently the lake and the surrounding villages are connected by tunnels built by that beloved of Italian facist dictators MUSSOLLINI. He decided that the villages had to be connected by these network of tunnels. The tunnels are all named after his ex-girlfriends, well they would be Ex's ,as they're probably all dead a long time, who knows our favourite facist met up with them in whatever afterlife his sort go to. The longer tunnels are named after his favourites, the shorter ....Not so fondly remembered!....Still, not bad, having a tunnel through a mountain named after you and your tunnel used in a Bond film and these pretty (once) Italian Dictator bits of stuff would one day have DANIEL CRAIG powering through you, so to speak!...Mind you i wouldn't like to be 'MUSSO' explaining why certain girls became the shorter of tunnels.
 
 
The week or so was very nice ,but "God it was f**kin' boiling hot!!!".....The sun beat down and the only thing we could do was crawl to the bar .....Often!....I sat and read reams of electronic pages on my new KINDLE . I was surrounded by sweating drooling women . I automatically assumed this was due to the unbearable heat and gallons of drink that everybody guzzled down. I came to the conclusion that the women ,who were all reading that naughty book...'50 SHADES OF GREY.'...I also decided that all these sexually aroused women were drooling over me as i ambled Bond-Like cool and catlike to the bar.Did they wonder if thee was another Bond film being filmed. I mentioned this observation to the LOVELY LYNNE....Funnily enough she thought it was very amusing. As every women was reading and being aroused by the '50 SHADES OF GREY'!...Except for one notable exception....THE LOVELY LYNNE, my missus! She was reading 'HITCHIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY' which  is very clever and amusing ,but the late wonderful DOUGLAS ADAMS didn't manage to inject much rudeness and horniness into the story so THE LOVELY LYNNE wasn't turned on, drooling and lusting after me ,anyhow at the end of the day it was my own fault as she was reading this sci-fi classic on my reccomendation. I should learn to keep me big mouth shut. Mind you i think i might've got a few funny looks from my beloved if i'd reccommended '50 SHADES OF GREY' to her. 

12 comments:

Cathy said...

Not really into BDSM. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy sounds a much better bet!

xxx

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

Oooooohhhh, Cathy we'll have to meet up and i can show you what a two headed sci-fi character can do to a uni-cranial human.xxxx
Love n' 2 tongues...
Zaphod Beeblebrox xxxx

Thud said...

Bsm...just what is so horny about a driving school?

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

Cathy's a very sexy lady, so you would be very lucky if she happened to be instructing you in how to work your clutch!

The Original Wilson Brothers said...

Lynne wasn't reading the "50 Shades" book cos it is very poorly written!! ;)

p.s. love HGTTG

~pam

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

Sounds like Lynne!.....She'd be reading all the mucky bits and looking at the punctuation. I'm going to try and see if 'Restaurant at the end of the universe 'will get the juices flowing.

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