At this moment in a cloud of smog, far, far away, the chinese are beginning the opening celebrations of the 2008 olympic games. In the middle of Beijing, after flattening a few thousand houses and appartments ,much to the unpleasant suprise of the people who lived there, those pleasant smiling chappies of the ruling communist party built the biggest birds nest on the planet. Well, we assume it's the biggest birds nest on the planet, as no body can see the bloody thing. The new, open and honest communist party have honestly and openly placed a massive security cordon around the stadium to keep everybody away from this architectural masterpiece(as birds nests go, it's the best.) But aside from smiling security, theres a thick billowing cloud of smog and various pollutants. Apparently the chinese goverment have closed down all their factories and taken THREE MILLION cars off the road, and, still, you can't see your hand in front of your coughing and spluttering face, never mind the biggest birds nest on the planet.
It should be fascinating watching these highly trained, peak of fitness athletes sweating ,gasping and panting trying to catch their breath, due to their exertions. And, thats before they compete in their event. That'll be coming out into that Beijing 'air' and taking their tracksuit off. Will they be able to hear the start gun over the 100,00 spectators gasping, wheezing and coughing their lungs up all the day long. Well, on the plus side, we've got an excuse for our no doubt pathetic haul of medals. "I couldn't breathe....I couldn't see where to throw/jump/run...I couldn't find the track/stadium". Tessa'a jowls, the minister said on the news that Team G.B.(hmmm!) will do their best for the country, winning and medals aren't important, they will do their best, well, thats alright then.