NEXT TIME THIS OLD MAN SEE'S A KID STUCK UP A TREE, THE LITTLE GET STAYS THERE..OLD MEN DON'T CLIMB TREES.

The other day, walking the dogs through some woods near where i live, i happened upon an oppertunity to do a good deed and help somebody in trouble. Being the warmhearted christian, caring sort you all know me to be, i pounced upon this god given test of my courage and general wonderfulness. There was a couple of kids around the base of a tree who ,as i approached said, "Hey, Mister. Will you help our mate , cos he's stuck up that tree?" So, i looked up and sure enough there was this rag arsed little scruffy get up near the top of the tree. I asked if he was ok, and if he couldn't get down. He said he couldn't get down. So, your hero, (thats me ,by the way), ditched my jacket and, much like riding a bike, my years of climbing trees hadn't been forgotten and i shot up like a squirrel. As i got near the kid, he started panicking, a little, and kicking his legs and waving me back. That was ok ,but when the little get started shouting. "GET BACK, OLD MAN!". And not in the good ol' polite English form of address manner, but in direct reference to my physical age. Well, i nearly kicked the little sod off the branch he was so desperatly clinging too. I got him down, all the way he was asking how should he grab this branch,or where should he put his foot, etc, etc, but all the time, addressing me as, OLD MAN! Then when we got down, his mates gave him a little 'stick' about how he'd not of gotten down if 'THE OLD MAN', Hadn't come and helped him. One of the little sods, very nicely told his mate to pass me my jacket, but spoiled it by asking his mate,' to pass the ol fellah's jacket' . So, next time any young' uns need a hand getting down any trees. Well, it's tough titties,they can stay up there, 'cos old men don't climb trees.