The other week as i was throwing myself off the top of Alpine mountains in the endless quest for speed, kicks n' thrills. I found my self on what could be described as a tea tray with a handbrake, which slide down a concrete shute all the way down this mountain. I did the easy one, jumped on the cablecar back to the top and jumped down what they classified as the experts run. I shot down this highly cambered swerving run at full belt, no brakes or slowing down for T.B. Leatherbarrow, paah! the merest thought!.....But i must admit to thinking about it once. As i flew off this jump; Landed and flew into this steep bend, whereupon me n' my teatray took off and parted company in mid air before landing back on the run. I carried on flying down the run, with a foot on the teatray. My elbows acted as skids protecting the rest of my precious ,small, but perfectly formed body. I finally clambered back on board the teatray, accelerated and finished the course. As i stood up the Lovely Lynne nearly collapsed when she saw the blood dribbling down my legs. This was a result of resting my bloody elbows on the inside of my thighs as a battled valiently to control the carrerring teatray.
The skin was scrapped off both my elbows and was a beautiful sight to behold. The first day was sore, but it was the days after . You could say my sore elbows were a pain in the arse. It didn't matter where we went ,everything was elbow height, so the elbows hit,scraped n' rubbed against everything. Not my arms, not my forearms or wrists, but right 'on the knuckle', my bloody elbows. I couldn't lean on a table or a chair. As they were scrapped the wounds were oozing, so were sticky. Whenever i moved my arm the bloody elbow stuck to the surface it was resting upon. As well as just being plain sore.
So, i hope you ignorant shower appreciate the pain and suffering thats gone into leaning against the drawing board and computer table trying to keep my elbows above shoulder level.