Once long ago the world rang to the crack of rocks being hit together or cracking animal skulls. Then as stuff got harder and sharper man invented wood and metal and the world echoed to the splintery wooden sounds ofwooden things, and rang to the clangy metallic sounds of metal things that these simple folks made their tools and weapons from . But not now! Now, everything goes 'BLEEP!'... This bleep will then be followed by another 'BLEEP!'....And yet more Bleeps and on and on it goes . Where once Bleeps were part of Science Fiction comics and films. Bleeps used to launch rockets or detonate atom bombs, basically something bold and exciting. But now the once impressivly dramatic BLEEP!..Is no more. It is a mere Bleep on every single electronic item in the world. Telly', Dvd's,computers, Telephones, etc, etc, etc.....But BLEEPSVILLE has got to be the supermarket.A cacophony of bleeps ,making it impossible to speak or think.
As me n' the missus stand at the checkout, the assistant , her hands a blur shovels the 'stuff' past the till,emitting just a sonic explosion of Bleeps, meanwhile she's passing receipts and various cards and tickets all accompanied by bleeps to my missus. Who while juggling and packing the shopping is inserting credit cards where they should be inserted, with Bleeps. And tapping numbers with loads of Bleeps. And while this blur of activity and bleeping goes on , she holds two conversations...One with the checkout girl and the other to me. This is about stuff like.."Dont put the eggs under the dog food ..Don't put the grapes under the house bricks, or whatever, etc, etc"....This amazing display is, apparently a new discovery ,or just 'the norm' given a new name ...MULTI-TASKING.
Apparently men can't multi-task. This is obviously rubbish. Ok, women can be busy little bees around the house and shops, but this is all physical stuff,almost an automotive- reflex action, just turn on the switch and off they jolly well go. Whereas we men are more cerebral in our multi-tasking. The other night i was reading an X-MAN comic on a cd dicc on my lap top,watching t.v drinking a glass of wine, thinking of a cartoon idea and scratching my crotch. As well as grunting at the missus in response to whatever she was going on about. And none of my activities involved any bleeps...oh the telly remote and my lap top with the comic disc did ....OH(BLEEP BLEEP!) IT !!!!
(HA! Magazine humour.co.uk)