Ol' Farts going on holiday

My beloved missus, after spending 6 weeks looking at photos of hotel swimming pools, has decided we're going to one in Ibizia, for a week. My 9 yr old(going on 50) is thoroughly disgusted that we're not going to the ,Wild ,crazy ,clubbing pubbing, sex n fun,etc, etc in the sun part .But are crashing by a bar in the ol' farts part of the island , to sit watch the world go by ;Drink it under the table ,reading Richard and Judies 'Book of the month' at the same time. Gawd, We know how to enjoy ourselves, Who needs 18-30's an' all that?