Apparently the world is becoming an angrier place ,as we all tend to lose our already short tempers a lot more often than we used to. As anyone who knows me will openly attest, this doesn't apply in my case ,as i'm a lovely laid back sweetheart of a guy...AND WHAT 'RE YOU LAUGHIN'AT? YER "@%$&*'HEAD!....Well, okay ,i can get just a teensey bit irritable on occassions ,but for good reasons,and for things other people do ,none of it is my fault .So, i think i have the right to lose it from time to time . My concience is clear,Buster!I'm a happily married fellah ,the missus is the lovely Lynne and she's a wife and a woman,both features guaranteed to cause the average well balanced fellah grief and frustration .
(1) Women are convinced they understand men ,whereas men openly admit to not having a clue about women. They also assume men can read their minds and know what they're yattering on about when they leave the room you've been sitting together in most of the evening ,suddenly to hold a conversation with you from upstairs or three rooms away.And when they find you've no idea what they 're on about, you find yourself in 'the doghouse 'without the slightest clue as to why. .........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
(2)The daughter ,Elara....Well she's the daughter and put on the planet to drive you nuts (but she's sooo damn good at it ,she knows the exact buttons not just to press, but stomp on to drive me crackers .I think she's related to her mother.)Mesmorised by the telly ,whatever is on. And then there's that bloody little computer game she's always stabbing away at the buttons of.......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(3)The dogs ,howling ,barking and yapping away if anyone comes within half a mile of the house.Mind you ,god forbid it ever happened and any one broke in ,they wouldnt make a bloody sound ,except for the wagging of their tails and the licking of the B£%&*'S hand. They are also possessed of psychic guts. No matter how many Doggy -Poo bags we take out like the responsible dog owners we are.The little bastards'll have 2 more dumps than the number of bags we brought.....AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(4)And we have what the good ol' cathode ray tube in the telly sprays us with all day n' every bloody day .Guaranteed to get me in a scowling ,teeth grinding frenzy are;Politicians ,M.P's,Prime ministers ,presidents ,bishops, Proffessional sincerity merchants ; Celebrities,and shows with celebrity in the title;Films with cute or 'smart' kids in,American High school comedies ,etc ;Comedian based panel game shows . What happened to comedians who did shows ? Now they do 'stand up gigs'. And who're all these perrier award winners who supply all those 'funny',smart remarks on those endless flow of : 50 GREATEST THINGEE'S : 100 ALL TIME BEST WHATSITS ,etc,etc.That seem to be on every night of the weekends. And these new 'CAMP'comedians, are back ,but a lot worse than it ever was in the days of Larry Grayson or Frankie Howard, wheres that bloody remote ? How many channels can Jimmy Carr be on at once?.......AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
(5)When a pint of Guinness is poured like a pint of lager and plonked in front of you,and instead of the smooth inch thick white creamy top ,its five inches of slightly 'yellowy' froth with (sob) bubbles in it. Looking more like a bad pint of mild.........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
..YUK!!!!!
There now i've vented me spleen ,i'll go n' put the kettle on with a serene smile on my face ,imight even pinch a chocolate bar out of one of the missus's or little 'un's easter eggs. Revenge may be sweet ,sad n'pathetic ,as well as being bad for the teeth ,but you have to take it where you can find it . There's an Aero egg ,i haven't had an Aero in years.
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