Friday, 19 March 2010


Aaah after years of gallavanting around the world posturing and performing in front of thousands of screaming adoring gurls....It has come as an astounding shock to one n' all that the saintly Mark Owen, the 'nice guy' from 'Take That' has been a little too nice a little too often and took that what the adoring hormone riddled screaming gurls had to offer. Funnily enough his missus wasn't as understanding as myself and other such 'men(ok and gurls,chiz chiz) of the world'. This is possibly due to the fact being a cartoonist and caricaturist ,once of great renown, i would travel around weilding my brushpen to the adoring public. Admittedly i didnt have quite the response that maybe 'Take That' hitting town or a Boyzown, or whatever ,but a few kids seemed quite taken with me. Nah, i could've had my pick,gurls would gaze adoringly, i think, at the top of my head as i peered intently at the fine precise ink lines on the paper, then occassionally glancing up to see if her eyelids were the same size, if her ears were level, if she had a full set of teeth and how far down her top chin did her bottom lip droop. Important things for a caricaturist.Romance could've bloomed n' blossomed many many times but for the queues of people i had to bloody draw before i could lay the irresistable Leatherbarrow charm on anyone. By the time i'd got the chance there was only me and a curled up ham sandwich on a crumb riddled plate on one of the empty tables, if i was lucky, before my long lonely five hour drive through the night. But i'm having a quiet time of it these days. So i thought i'd ask the Lovely Lynne if it was ok for me to have ten affairs, as she's out a lot of the time and it'd be nice to have an outside interest. Much to my suprise she seemed quite keen, until i realised she thought i'd said something about me buying her some 'Furs'. She thought they'd look quite smart when she has to go to these banking 'do's', or if she's playing with her band at various 'gigs'. But when she realised her mistake she wasn't so accomodating. Why would i want to have torrid affairs when we've had SKY+ fitted? So my cartoonist sex appeal is laying unused, gathering dust. The last time it was put to good use, just to show you how uncontrollable i was, it was with the Lovely Lynne. I was working at her bank and she fell madly in love with me and married me...It's a dangerous thing this sex appeal.


Thud said...

10 affairs...who has the energy? plus after a day working on drains the fragrant Thud is less than appealing.

Tim Leatherbarrow said...

Dont put yourself down ,apparently women like the 'natural' smell of a man, even if it is nearly all the men on the Wirral condensed into a single concrete pipe, wow the gurls'll be going crazy for you, you lucky man, you!
unscented of Warrington xx