Work is non existant and my benefit ,as i'm a social parasite bleeding the country dry claiming a benefit ,but i was caught by our eagle eyed goverment and dont get a penny not a bean!.....So i was sitting drawing ,or was it writing some rubbish or other and feeling pretty down. The radio informed me that among the things my cancelled benefits were paying for was a new hi-speed rail link so we can get to Birmingham half an hour quicker. Not only that , but a contract to build a pile of new fighter aircraft by the Yanks , it turns out that due to a design 'mistake', the aircraft wont be able to land on aircraft carriers due to the positioning of the snatch hook on the aircraft....Instead of at the rear of the plane ,they've put the hook between the wheels of the undercarriage, so when the wheels run over the snatch cable flattening it the hook wont touch it, so theres a few billion more blown, but i'm doing my bit giving up my paltry 60 quid a week. Theres m,any other things my benefits'll help, even a new yacht for'Her Majesty'....Your welcome, Ma'am!...(can you post me knighthood?)
But another important cost was encrued by paying for a study to tell us how we are happier when we've got a 'few bob!'......I've just checked one pocket and there was nothing in it and i felt a wave of depression, but that was wiped away when i found a fiver in my other pocket. They stopped my benefit to pay for a study telling me i'd be happy with a'few bob'...And its true, so thats ok then, maybe the goverment actually do know what they're doing?
4 comments:
The nation appreciates your sacrifice and your reward will be in heaven....when we get to the pub is this your excuse for noy buying?
I cant afford to fund the airforce,buy a royal yacht and fund goverment social experiments and fund your boozing ,as well!
And as for heaven i think we may've burnt the bridges to the pearly gates long ago!
Brother Dermot will no doubt put a good word in for the two of us.
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