Tim Leatherbarrow

It's a 24 hour ,7day a week job running the country. No rest for our fine body of ministers working full-time , non stop ,in a variety of departments and ministries. Everything from the dept of screwing things up; Minister for spin,soundbites and general bullshit; Dept of bungs and back handers ,under the minister for Dodgy donations. And focus groups and research panels into the best Prime Minister hairstyle ,to the best shape for the Great British Tea bag ,(square ,round ,triangular?)..It's all vital stuff in keeping whats left of Britain great. It struck me as funny the only part time job was the Minister of Defence. With 'Our boys'out in a variety of wars ,or policing actions ,as the Yanks are keen to call'em. The countries on a bright red security alert due to our jolly terrorist threat .Only this morning on Sky news ,the Home secretary told us to have a happy xmas shop,but just look out for the odd terrorist 'Dirty bomb'. So, with all this there obviously isn't enough to keep somebody occupied full time .
So, i 've applied for the post as Minister of defence. I can do some cartoon work ,hoover up the house,wash the dishes ,walk the dogs ,pick up the daughter from school; And ,plan operations in Afghanistan and Iraq,and possibly prepare operations against Iran. With the cordless phone i can potter about the house and still liase with MI5&6,over terrorist 'stuff'. As long as they don't call me about 3 o'clock ,as i normally have a peice of toast and 'put the kettle on while 'Frasier's on the telly .But otherwise Great Britain and the defence of the realm is in good hands,and is my main priority.My Missus agrees,only as long as the house is clean ;the dogs walked ;she's at school. ....And then, lest we forget my insightful/finger on the pulse cartoons. I've just found out i have to cut 1Billion off the MOD budget. I'll do my bit .I'll use my own pens and wont charge for all the tea bags(round) i go through organising our armed forces around the world.